Overlooking the situation

[freedom8]

Here is a story that possibly can’t have a happy ending. My question is why people would want to develop feelings and flirt their way with you when in the end they know it will be too complicated to pursue? I know it is an unfair question as feelings are hard to control. The situation was that all the right signals and hints were there and this had been going on for a good number of months and before you know it, a bombshell lands and corrupts any chance of conciliation. Asking someone out on a date is one thing but revealing your feelings before anything has started to solidify is another. I felt an urgency to hurry the situation because her family has taken to a liking of this guy from London. Mustered the guts, got a little drunk and revealed some of these feelings and to a little of my surprise, she felt the same way. She told me she wanted to express what she was feeling for me but did not have the nerve to until I did plus all the mushy stuff that goes on. We were happy and started to really feel the affection of how much we missed each other and wanted to be with each other. To find out what I had hoped would not be the issue, is that she could not commit to me right now. There was too much going on with the pressure from her family that has made her world spin more than once. Her family would not accept me cause of tradition. They want her to be with the other guy who is the same race (don’t ask) as she is but she keeps telling me she doesn’t want anything to do with this other guy but can’t say yes to me now. She has told them and mentioned me but that enraged the situation with her family. It all seems a little unfair but the reality of it will be that her family will be looked down upon for dating outside her race. I wouldn’t want her to choose such a fate for her family. In the end, I feel the chance for ‘right now’ is very slim. I can’t see them ever accepting it despite what she wishes for. There doesn’t seem sense in hoping, waiting or playing silly games like turning on the charm a notch to make her think twice so to fight her family to the end for our situation. The road will just be messy and complicated and probably not after some heartache would there be acceptance. Possibly years. I haven’t seen her at work yet but am hurrying myself to accept this fate and see her as a friend only. It’s a very small team so no doubt I will be interacting with her daily. I knowingly know how I should act but what would you do? Act happy and pretend it didn’t happen, concentrate on my work? I see the safe bet is to work on myself and not hope, wait nor expect and in time my eyes will open to accepting her as just a comrade. I am disappointed but not at her, at the situation and what life does not allow some of us to have. Maybe I should have reconsidered it all at the start, that attraction and compatibility is not enough for two people to be together all the time. Moving forward seems like the only destined plan now.

[xpaperxcutx]

Well in Shakespeare's world, the star crossed lovers committed suicide for love in death, what they couldn't have in life. Now I don't expect you to pursue the same direction but consider the opposing forces that are working against the both of you. The main factor here is that her parents are deeply traditional and are in direct opposition to idea of her dating you.

I would like to say that love can withstand all odds, but how well do the both of you truly know and feel about each other? If it's just attractions, in time it will fade. Headbutting with her family, will only cause her more pain than happiness.

[freedom8]

We can see that if it happens, that it will be pretty amazing. We do really like each other but I can't see much of a chance in taking it further unless she goes toe to toe with her family. You are definitely right in saying this will cause her to be unhappy and that in return will not allow the potential in this relationship. I do hope it fades xpaperxcutx's, knowing that I have to see her everyday. Thank you.