how emotions take us over!

[pickingupthepieces]

Looking at everyone's posts today got me thinking. Isn't it amazing how our emotions/feelings can just change everything? I mean one day we can be completely fine and then BOOM its like our world is ending. We see something or someone that just makes us break.

 

It is REALLY hard.. in so many ways I think we all know what we should do.. its just like your heart takes over (in my situation anyways). I am just amazed at how many little things I can look back on and think..why did I do that, I knew better. I would be so much farther along if I just wasn't so emotional and sensitive! I guess this is just a reminder to myself that NO MATTER how bad you want to hold him, listen to how much he loves you, misses you, and how he has changed... nothing is going to fix the fact that you can't be together. It's just not possible... So when he stops by tomorrow REMEMBER no "I love you's" (even though it feels so right). You need to stay away so you can get on with it.... Your personality's just don't go... just think of all the crap you went through... even if he has "changed" you deserve better.

 

Ok so I guess I made that kind of personal...sorry guys. I just can't believe myself, how could I slip up SO much. When we had no contact I was so READY to show him I DIDN'T care. I mean I have held alot of my feelings in. But I NEVER thought I would call him... never mind as much as I have... I need to get back to the right mind frame.

 

Does anyone ever feel like they wish they could just NOT feel anything even for a day? I mean what I would do to pull my heart out and shove it in a box for month just for a break. I found myself crying when he didn't show up with my stuff on Sat (which I haven't done for a long time). He said that he was sick at his parents.. thats why he never showed ..oh and he didn't have his phone thats why there was no answer. I mean all I can really do is believe him..... he was the one who set it all up.. SO I dunno!

 

I'm sure anyone who has broken NC knows how awful it is... and as much as I read about it on here.. I still did it! Its the whole emotion thing! AWFUL I tell you.. I hate feeling

[kizik]

I mean one day we can be completely fine and then BOOM its like our world is ending. We see something or someone that just makes us break.

 

That's very true. I mean, I had a good day (considering). And it's weird, because I almost felt guilty. As if I'm supposed to wallow or cry, and if I don't, I'm an as*hole.

 

But knowing that good days are infrequent and I never know when they might come, I embraced this one. And f*ck, it felt good.

 

Tomorrow may suck, but when going through a tough time, you have to hold onto the fleeting good moments.

[foxh1234]

Looking at everyone's posts today got me thinking. Isn't it amazing how our emotions/feelings can just change everything? I mean one day we can be completely fine and then BOOM its like our world is ending. We see something or someone that just makes us break.

 

It is REALLY hard.. in so many ways I think we all know what we should do.. its just like your heart takes over (in my situation anyways). I am just amazed at how many little things I can look back on and think..why did I do that, I knew better. I would be so much farther along if I just wasn't so emotional and sensitive! I guess this is just a reminder to myself that NO MATTER how bad you want to hold him, listen to how much he loves you, misses you, and how he has changed... nothing is going to fix the fact that you can't be together. It's just not possible... So when he stops by tomorrow REMEMBER no "I love you's" (even though it feels so right). You need to stay away so you can get on with it.... Your personality's just don't go... just think of all the crap you went through... even if he has "changed" you deserve better.

 

Ok so I guess I made that kind of personal...sorry guys. I just can't believe myself, how could I slip up SO much. When we had no contact I was so READY to show him I DIDN'T care. I mean I have held alot of my feelings in. But I NEVER thought I would call him... never mind as much as I have... I need to get back to the right mind frame.

 

Does anyone ever feel like they wish they could just NOT feel anything even for a day? I mean what I would do to pull my heart out and shove it in a box for month just for a break. I found myself crying when he didn't show up with my stuff on Sat (which I haven't done for a long time). He said that he was sick at his parents.. thats why he never showed ..oh and he didn't have his phone thats why there was no answer. I mean all I can really do is believe him..... he was the one who set it all up.. SO I dunno!

 

I'm sure anyone who has broken NC knows how awful it is... and as much as I read about it on here.. I still did it! Its the whole emotion thing! AWFUL I tell you.. I hate feeling

 

I feel for you. I was doing well not contacting her for 40 some odd days and then I started writing a goodbye email. I poured my heart out and sent it to her. She responded with a beautiful email and we saw each other for a few minutes, just hugging and crying. That was yesterday and I feel like I am back at day 1 today. My feelings for this woman are still so strong. I let her get back in my head and heart and I have to work harder now to heal and recover. I can't say I 100% regret contacting her again, but I was feeling so much better before I did. Also, hope is tearing at me again, I really don't know what I want anymore. I am completely screwed. Emotions are a bitch for sure. We will get better and learn from our little mistake. NC starts again at day 1.

[kizik]

Though you're technically at Day One of NC, Fox, don't let that make you feel like a failure. Numbers are not important. What's important is feeling like you've done what's necessary, and judging by your other thread, you have.

 

HOPE is a killer, though. You can't have hope. Nothing. You're on your own now, and you aint getting back together with her.