rockdragon20 Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 I'm not sure if this post belongs here, but... here goes. How to find friends, how to form great relationships, or go to school, or do so many of the things that I am desperate to do, without having my health? I don't have a normal life, I never thought of myself as being abnormal until this just took over my entire life. I have tried everything under the sun to fix this, and now I am just in an entire emotional breakdown after all of my physical ones. There is no name for what I have, and am not even sure what it is. I have tried everything under the sun, don't even think about telling me to go to a doctor. Just imagine how you feel when you're sick, take 1/3 of that, and that is how I feel at least every other day, if not every day. It’s just being chronically ill. Every single time I start to feel better, I think I'm going to get better, and then it's just such a horrible letdown when I don't, and I get depressed, and the cycle is ENDless. The worst part is, I feel I don't have any support. Yes, my mom is my greatest advisor and great help, but when tries to 'support' me she looks at everything negatively, and it may not sound that bad, but it certainly is after so many years of witnessing it. Not to mention all of my friends are living far away, and after keeping up the relationship by myself for over two years, it starts to feel like I am the only one invested in the relationship. In my situation it is very hard to find friends, as I'm not in school, and am not on my feet long enough to pursue hobbies and etc. Even on penpal sites it's hard to find someone. And after that worst part, the next worst part is how I have to call in sick at work at least once a month, or cancel some kind of plans, and letting people down is one of the worst things to do. At this point, I just don’t know how to support myself emotionally, I doubt I could afford therapy, mostly I just have random emotional breakdowns in addition to the random physical ones. What if I don’t get better this time? Nothing has ever worked for me. I want to be an effing social worker—I so cannot help people when I can’t even help myself. I just have no idea how to support myself, I need so much advice it’s ridiculous.
LonePoster Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 I'm really not the best to help but no1 has replied so I'll throw in my 2 cents here. First thing- It's not ridiculous needing a lot of advice At least you know what advice you need . Second thing- You want to be a social worker but feel that because you can't help yourself you can't help others? In MY experience helping others is easier then helping yourself...alot easier. Third thing- You have physical break downs too? This like binge eating or something caused by your mental breakdowns like that? Or something that could more be the cause of your mental breakdowns? Fourth thing- I started smiling recently It helps me at least. I think of the few things that make me happy and I smile, on public transport, etc I just smile and it helps when everything is feeling just too much (Which it is right now)
wierdmunky Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Your mom probably is equally stressed, thinking about all the pros and cons, sharing all the cons, and is sharing her concern for you in that way; although it doesn't help your emotional well-being. At least you have us LSers lol. Being ill is like being in a constant battle that you want to win. Hearing positive things is mental and emotional encouragement for you to fight, so I understand that when you hear things in negative context, from a #1 source of support, that it doesn't exactly bring good feelings. To me it would feel like a complainy teammate that thinks we can't do it [but thats just me ]. But if its just you two, and if your mom does care, then encourage her to be positive and strong, and that both of you will get through it together. She shares your stress.
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