mm1987 Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 If you have a friend who you know is cheating on his wife. You also know that he was cheating before they got married. And has continued to cheat even after they got married. So no he has not been faithful to his wife since day one of their marriage. Should I tell the wife? The only thing is they are both my friends and I don’t want him to get mad at me for letting the cat out of the bag. I would have to try and find a way that he would not know it was me. So should I tell? And if I should how should I tell the wife?
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 What is your motivation for wanting her to know, and why would you have let it go on this long without telling if you were that concerned? Why now?
Lizzie60 Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 NO.. NO.. NO.. this is none of your business.. let them deal with this...
norajane Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 I haven't been in this exact situation, as I have a friend who cheats but I don't know his wife. He's a friend I met at my last job, we have been friends for years now, and he's been open with me about his cheating. According to him, he adores his wife and would be devastated if she ever found out and he lost her. Since I don't know her personally, I wouldn't have thought to tell her although I could have easily called their house and done so. However, I have taken every opportunity to talk to HIM about it endlessly and try to persuade him to STOP. There are times we'll be chatting and he'll start talking about some woman he met recently, and that's when I paint the picture for him - again - and talk him away from the ledge. He's in therapy, and is working through his issues. That takes time, but he's making progress. He seems to have stopped the random cheating while on business trips, although the temptation is still there. So I do what I can to make sure he doesn't lose sight of what's really important to him - his wife and his 5 kids. Have you tried talking to him and holding up a mirror so he can see who and what he is? Have you suggested that he go to therapy? Have you told him you're at a point where you are thinking about telling his wife because you can't stand to see your friend betrayed time and time again? Have you suggested that he tell her and they go to marriage counseling? I'd try that first, and if he does nothing, then I could understand why you'd have to tell your friend. If my close friends knew my guy was cheating on me, hell yes, I'd want them to tell me.
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