She's moving away?

[orangesean]

Here's a sort of funny dilemma... I'm about 3 months out of my last long term relationship, doing okay, meeting new people and girls alike, finding new things to do, and along the way I start talking to this girl from my highschool again who lives in the same city as me.

 

At first she was going to be another distraction as the other girls I've found some time to hang out with a few times recently, as "friends." Well as it goes, with this one I start finding out I really like her. She's smart, has a great sense of humor, good taste in music and movies (better than me), and of course pretty. But the catch is, she's moving from Houston to California sometime in August. I'm starting to get really confused. My question is what I should do as I have a nagging feeling she really likes me back? Maybe I should walk away right now if I'm getting too attached, but there's also an idea that her moving is not necessarily set in stone.

 

Anyways, here's some back story, if you guys want to analyze the situation for me. We shared a lot of the same "smart kid" classes in High School although I never talked to her or gave her much thought until a video project for Gov't in senior year. Even then I didn't see her as a potential date.

 

A few months later, early on into my 4 year relationship with someone else, I am IMed late at night by someone professing their love to me. That person didn't tell me who they were, but name some people she knew (as well as people I wouldn't think she would know), and logged off forever after that. It's possible it is her, more on that later.

 

So fast forward two years, where I'm listening to a local college radio station late night and she is DJing by coincidence. I didn't know she went to college in Houston since I did not keep in touch with anyone from HS. I call her up and say hi, request a song, and I didn't really follow up or anything.

 

Two years later again, after the breakup I get a Facebook and start finding out what happened to the people I went to high school with. I know getting mixed up with people I went to high school is "small town" type stuff, especially living in a big city, but hey we have the internet now, so you can do this stuff easily. I add her as one of the many people on Facebook, send her an IM (on her profile) after a nice message from her. One of the first things she says is something like "I remember that screenname, I'm sort of creepy that way." It seems odd she knows my screenname, as I don't often give it out, and I wasn't using AIM for about two years in college. We did share the screennames with the group on the video project, so that could be it, although I don't remember ever talking to her. Also on a sidenote, she did have a picture of me and her on her facebook taken sometime in highschool added about 2006.

 

Okay so anyways, I seem to talk to her a lot on AIM while I'm at work, and we have hung out a few times afterwards, consisting of seeing a movie or a where I hang out at her apartment or she hangs out at mine and we watch movies, look at dumb junk on youtube, or just talk. Usually our apartment hang out sessions end up lasting like 6-8 hours oddly enough, which is an intensely long amount of time to me. Last time I suspect she was inching her head towards laying on my shoulder while we were watching a movie, but it may have been unintentional. She sometimes says my name when we talk and is really playful. I think if I made any type of move, she would reciprocate, but she's moving and I don't want to get involved like that.

 

There are some ways she might not be into me, like she never really makes much eye contact and tends to look down or away a lot. Also she made the comment like, "ugh, dating people from high school" at one point on the subject of someone else. She tends to just talk randomly online, not really saying "hi" or "bye" at any point.

 

On the flip side, she just graduated with a Bachelor's two months ago, and is working a menial job until she moves to California with her roommate (her roommate going is her only motivation). She says she loves Houston and would come back but also she has not tried to look for a post graduate job here either. Also she said she was fighting with her roommate about staying longer. I know there is probably no way I could convince her to stay even if I were to try, but I can't fight the notion.

 

She invited me to go to a belly dancing show tomorrow night after I get off of work, so I'm getting more and more confused on how to play it. Am I just a friend or are we both being cautious? I certainly don't make a habit of hanging out and talking with the opposite sex for 8 hour sessions two or three times a week, but maybe she does? Shame the other girls I've met or talked to so far are either racist, immature, or just dumb.

 

Sorry this is long, but laying out all the hints I can think of. Argh, why does she have to move? For the time being I'm being more aloof, letting her contact first.

[orangesean]

Well, I know no one replied but anyways things went well and we are at the "kissing" stage. I guess it was sort of sprung on me and I went for it. Friends were telling me that I should just go ahead and tell her I like her and that maybe she'll stay. So I guess I'll be on thin ice, and I can't invest too much of my emotions in her just in case. Hah, I'll see how well I can handle myself

 

She spent the night at my house last night, nothing happened though, it's cool. I went to a party with her coworkers last night and was up pretty late with her. She got pretty drunk in a drinking game, and I was sort of as well but let myself sober some and resolved to drive her back to my apartment in her car. We slept in my bed along with all the kisses and holding and stuff. I haven't been able to sleep next to someone since March so it was really nice. Most guys aren't into that stuff... I am, call me a wuss, whatever.

 

But anyway, there comes problems as well... I'm afraid she may be too much of a party girl than I predicted. Maybe it's just because we've been out to a bar like 3 nights last week, but I hardly ever go to bars unless it's with friends on get together occasions. She likes drinking, and I guess is very social so I'm not sure I should be bothered. Maybe she was just trying to find places for us to go? Not sure. I mean on one hand I find bars pretty skeezy sometimes, but on the other hand it can be a lot of fun too.

 

Just when she gets more drunk, she always seems to fall on the subject that she'd like to make out with another girl. I'm not positive as a joke or what. I told her I'd be sad if she was a lesbian, she responded that she thinks all girls are probably bisexual in one way or another or curious and that she wouldn't and that she likes me. Not sure if she knew I meant even kissing other girls wouldn't make me happy. We were both kind of drunk when talking about that... I might bring it up later. Her coworkers keep saying they are going to take her to this lesbian bar next Saturday but I don't know if it's a joke or not. I really don't want to flip out about it.

 

Also she seems to want to get a lot of tattoos and piercings soon, which I personally don't find attractive, but I haven't said anything. My ex resented me for not finding it attractive either and said I kept her from wanting to be herself. I actually like tattoos but they have to be really good, but I am not so into them covering the whole body. It just depends really.

 

So I know this is a bunch of rambling but like I want to know what you guys think. Do you think maybe I got ahead of myself and picked the wrong girl? A part of me wants to say she just graduated college, and is just enjoying the freedom for now and may mellow out? I guess I've already started my career almost a year ago and have sort of settled and know exactly what I want in my life, so I feel a bit boring or old compared to a lot of my friends. Maybe I'm being too judgmental? I hold a lot of traditional values in many things and at the same time don't in other things. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to let go of or not in people more regular than I am, as I've had a horrible past with quick judgment and dismissing people and I'm trying to quit as per what my therapist says and a few of the changes I already started making myself almost 2 years ago.

 

I don't know, I like her so much otherwise, there's a lot of outstanding qualities in her that my ex didn't have or a lot of other girls I've met recently and quickly found myself disinterested in. My friends all think she'd be great for me and that she's very pleasant. She's even trying to get me some local work doing artwork on a magazine aside from my job. I'm kind of torn in the middle maybe thinking she's not so right, but no one is perfect. Then again, I never hold my friends to high standards but I always try to do it with girlfriends.

 

Also there stands the root of my fears she will find out how boring I am... I guess I'm sort of your weird brand of artist, where I will draw some disturbing stuff sometimes and listen to some odd music, along with the necessary emotional trauma needed to be an artist type, but on the outside my shell is a clean cut collared shirt wearing guy who can sometimes be really shy. Like some people think I'm really interesting and some people think I'm basically a dad now, but it depends, as some days I feel like I want to go out, act wild, and be a part of something, whereas other days I just want to stay in bed and watch a movie.

[orangesean]

Okay scratch most of all that... my hang ups are silly and created in my head for the most part. She really likes me back... I wish she wasn't moving. I'm not sure there's been a girl I've clicked with so well and so fast ever.

 

Ergh... I hope some people believe in fate, because I would sure love it to be a true, driving force, that would be nice. It's sappy but it's all I've got to intervene. Haha, life sure gives you funny cards sometimes. Major sigh.