Alzoc Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Sorry this post is so long, but I really need some opinions on this. Hey guys. I met a girl online a long time ago, we just hit it off right away. To be honest, I'm nearly 20, still a virgin, never kissed a girl, and only had one incredibly short lived relationship... Yeah, I know. I probably could have gotten all that over with a long time ago, but I've really been waiting for someone special. I think I've finally found that person, but there are some possible complications... She's a total nymph, as she admitted to me ages ago. I guess she just likes sex, but she says she won't just have sex with anyone, cheat, and does have morals. She's a sweet girl, and treats me better then anyone ever has right off the bat. She says she thinks I have an amazing personality, am sweet, genuine, and a "cutie". Some time ago, she claimed she wanted me to go visit her. She said all this stuff about how great I was, and how much she wanted to have sex with me and all this... At the time, I was going threw a LOT of stuff dealing with my past, and had no confidence whatsoever. As much as I wanted to see her, my stupid lack of confidence got in the way. I kept saying things like "I'm ugly, you wouldn't like me" and all this other stuff, but she kept begging me. Eventually though, she just stopped. And after I realized what I'd done, I beat myself up about it forever... Since then, I've done a lot of self improvement, and had the courage to rectify my mistake (finally). Thankfully, she gave me another chance. I'm going to go see her in a few days. This time it was me who brought the sex thing up, because I thought she should know that I was a virgin. She said she didn't care. I then said that'd I'd probably be nervous, and not very good. She said she'd start on the top, so then it wouldn't matter. I guess she could do everything that way. So anyway, she's serious I guess. Now for the issue. If she's a nymph, should I be worried? Does that necessarily mean she just wants to use me for sex, does it mean I'm not anything important to her? She told me today about how her and her friend were out, and she jokingly said something to this guy. Supposedly he took it seriously, and gave her his number. She thought it was funny, to be honest, so did I. But supposedly her friend sent a text to this guy using her cell saying "hey babe", or something like that and then he got her number. To make a long story short, she went to hang out with him earlier. She doesn't even know this guy, and he sounds sleazy to me. To be honest, I'm worried sick. And also, I can't help but wondering about this guys obvious intentions, and if she'd do things with him... Am I over worried, or just being jealous? I don't even know really. From a girl standpoint, does it sound like something could go on here? Do you think I'm just another guy to her? Is she just going to use me? What do you guys think I should do? I REALLY like this girl, and was so releaved when I finally sorted everything out with her. Now this... am I just setting myself up to be hurt here?
Luv2Laugh Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Sounds like you're setting yourself up to be hurt alzoc. I'd stay clear of this one. Better fish in the sea. Besides, you want your first time to be with someone special who you genuinely care about! This girl sounds too flippant about sex:bunny:
kory11 Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 I think you should see her as planned but wait for the sex... see if she will stay with you longer then one date even if she didn't "get in your pants". Say that you want to wait for the right girl and that you don't know her well enough or something nice that shouldn't offend her. If she wants to see you again, then it must mean that she thinks you are genuinely someone nice, as she might have another sex-less date if she accepts. Hope everthing turns out the way you want it
Abomination Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Do you think I'm just another guy to her? YES. You seem a bit naive about her (I don't mean this as an insult), but I understand how it can be, when you're young and still inexperienced. This girl is bad news, or at least that's what I gathered from your post. If I were you, I'd steer clear of her. When people genuinely care about each other, they don't look at others, not even jokingly... or maybe I'm just old-fashioned? - A
Keridan Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 I don't think that you are just another guy to this girl, but I doubt she feels a commitment to you from what I read in your post. You pushed her off a bit when she came after you and have been dealing with your own issues. If you want to ask her to wait to see what happens between the two of you then you better speak up soon. I don't doubt the other guy's intentions are what you think they are. However, just because they are hanging out doesn't mean she's into him. I think you should see her and find out how things go. If you are as into her as you say, then it would be a tragedy to not at least find out. Don't stress the sex stuff. Just because she likes it doesn't mean she's a slut. Lots of women feel that way and are at the same time the most loyal, loving, and responsible women out there. As for your skills ... well, ya ... yer going to suck the first few times That's the way it works. She should know that and obviously doesn't care. Don't worry so much about it. If it happens, you will be fine and if it doesn't, you'll be fine, too. Neither of you is going to decide the rest of your relationship based on how you were when you lost your virginity. If she says she needs the intimacy and you aren't ready, there are other ways to give her the physical help she needs. Good luck to you and I wish I could help more.
rproctor Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Hmm... This might sound really shallow, really mean, and really objectionable... But I would say that you should go, shag her, and then carry on about your business. You probably are another guy to her, she probably is at a point in here life where she just wants to explode sexually, without strings, without commitment... You on the other hand are looking to create this monogamous relationship, and she probably isn't about that. Now, the tricky part will be allowing yourself to sleep with her but not become attached to her... If you can not do that, then you should not sleep with her, but it may be good to just get this one time out of your system. Think about it this way, she knows your a virgin, and she knows you might have a couple hang ups in bed. You could use this chance to figure somethings out about you, where your strong points are sexually. You can use her, just like she is using you. Then, with the next girl, who you really like and really likes you, wants to have a relationship with, when you do have sex you will not be worried about how well you perform and such. Just my 2 cents.
mixwell Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Hmm... This might sound really shallow, really mean, and really objectionable... But I would say that you should go, shag her, and then carry on about your business. You probably are another guy to her, she probably is at a point in here life where she just wants to explode sexually, without strings, without commitment... You on the other hand are looking to create this monogamous relationship, and she probably isn't about that. Now, the tricky part will be allowing yourself to sleep with her but not become attached to her... If you can not do that, then you should not sleep with her, but it may be good to just get this one time out of your system. Think about it this way, she knows your a virgin, and she knows you might have a couple hang ups in bed. You could use this chance to figure somethings out about you, where your strong points are sexually. You can use her, just like she is using you. Then, with the next girl, who you really like and really likes you, wants to have a relationship with, when you do have sex you will not be worried about how well you perform and such. Just my 2 cents. Kinda agree with this poster. Seriously if she was joking with this other guy and actually hung out then you shouldn't be naive to think she didn't screw him. I would say do your thing and try to not get too emotionally involved. Use her as a practice partner and if you see she seems genuine then maybe start to open up with her. I know it seems hard to do but IF you can I think thats your best bet.
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