kizik Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Anybody ever found themselves talking to their second-to-last partner about their most current ex? That's the situation I'm in. She's going through a separation, so we have heartbreak in common. Now is the time for all y'all LS-ers to say, "kizik, are you HIGH? Don't talk to the ex-ex, either, you idiot!"
MotoMan Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 No, I won't question your sanity, at least not yet! Do a gut check and ask yourself honestly why you're talking about it. Are you really sharing info to help her, or is there as much as an inkling of feelings for this person? You broke up with her for a reason, what did you learn from that relationship? Best of luck, just be honest with yourself and with her.
iwish Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 I'm actually going to visit an ex-ex-ex this thursday in Spain. I don't see a problem with it, i have no feelings for her and she has none for me. It's better than talking to your ex about it. That's for sure. So in my opinion it's ok.
Author kizik Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 Hypothetically, what if an inkling of feeling (as you say, Moto) IS involved? Are we supposed to avoid our exes until we can no longer think of them with fondness?
justaman99 Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Anybody ever found themselves talking to their second-to-last partner about their most current ex? That's the situation I'm in. She's going through a separation, so we have heartbreak in common. Now is the time for all y'all LS-ers to say, "kizik, are you HIGH? Don't talk to the ex-ex, either, you idiot!" Yup absolutely. me ex before ex is actually a good friend of mine. She's in a pretty good relationship and I am very happy for her and have absolutely no interest in her romantically at all. We help each other still with advice and such. It's pretty cool. I don't tell her everything but just how I'm doing and was pretty open about why things went the way they did. Women can be good at being supportive, even second exs that you left on good terms with. It's pretty cool.
JustPassingThru Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 The title made me laugh. You're crazy, stick to NC!!! Honestly, I still talk to some of my ex ex's. It's fine, my feeling for them are long gone, and we're still friends. It might be slightly awkward to talk about an ex with an ex, but whatever. I figure, if you and your ex ex can put the past behind you and there are no feelings left, why not talk to them?
LikeCharlotte Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 People always say 'you broke up for a reason". My opinion is that you were together for a reason and even if those reasons do not translate into a functional romantic relationship or intimacy sometimes they make for fabulous friendships. Some of my closest friends are ex's. I talk to them about everything and they have given me insight on my own behavior in and out of relationships and I have on theirs. That being said as long as its not painful in any way for either of you to share than do it. I like talking to my ex-ex's. I get great perspective and I am lucky enough to have wonderful friendships.
LikeCharlotte Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Hypothetically, what if an inkling of feeling (as you say, Moto) IS involved? Are we supposed to avoid our exes until we can no longer think of them with fondness? I missed this somehow. I think if you still have feelings or vice versa than its probably better to not talk about other relationships in a lot of detail until that is gone. I wouldn't say avoid but be cautious with both of your feelings. You obviously have respect for one another so continue that by being mindful of your actions.
orangehose Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Huh, funny, I have considered doing the same thing - parted on good terms with ex ex, not traumatic, still friends, he's had other serious relationships since me, no desire to reunite on my part. If I have one of our periodic 'update' lunches with him, I would be tempted to share what had gone on, because well, it's a major event in my life. I don't think it's harmful, provided you know she / he has truly moved on since you and is not say, either secretly holding a torch for you or taking vindictive pleasure in your distress.
Tabatha Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 I still talk to my ex ex and even about my current ex. We are friends, have been for over a year now. He's in Florida so I talk to him over IM. There are no feelings. Which is scary because I thought I would always have feelings for him in that way, and poof! they dissappeared when I met my current ex. Now, I can't imagine myself not ever loving my current ex. I'm afraid to lose those feelings though, because they feel so good.
sunshinegirl Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 My ex-ex has been really supportive. He dropped everything to hang out with me a few weeks ago and let me talk through what was happening with the ex. It meant a lot. As far as I know, there are no lingering feelings on his end. None on mine. But he's really been able to affirm me as a person and remind me of my good qualities, something I've needed in mass quantities lately.
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