JustPassingThru Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 So last night I went over to a friends house who was having a party. My friends and I were all having a good time, I saw a lot of people that had been away at school. No drama, just fun. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I see a familiar face. Our eyes met and instantly my heart sank. It's been nearly 2 weeks since I've seen or spoken to my ex since the abrubt ending. Anyway, I had to take a moment to gather my composure and not make a fool out of myself. My friends noticed right away and tried to keep me calm. I was okay, I looked good, smelled good, and was in a good mood. So I went on mingling with friends and didn't let her see that her being there was shredding my heart. About a half hour went by and we didn't speak, we made eye contact about a dozen times, but I'll be damned if I'm going up to her to make any sort of contact. So I waited. Sure enough, I get a little tug on my shirt from behind. She said hello, nice to see you, I figured you'd be here, why are you ignoring me... whatever. I played it off like I was cool as ice, while inside my heart was melting. We chatted for a bit, nothing serious, it was more like friends talking. It was somewhat strange how she acted. She was playing the whole "everything is great" role too. We parted ways, but that wasn't the end. As the night progressed, everyone was drinking and having fun. Dancing and things of that nature. One of her girl friends was dancing on me, actually it was her ex-best friend who she now hates. No, I did not dance with her out of spite. My ex saw, shot a lazer beam through me with her eyes and walked away. After that dance, I was standing with a friend talking, and my ex comes from behind, grabs me close and wispers in my ear, "she's just a copy". Gives me a wink, and walks away. I looked at my friends for advice, but they were in as much shock as I. Mouths wide open and heads shaking. Strike one for weird behavior. It seemed as though the night was lasting forever, part of me wanted to just get in my car and leave. But I had to sober up. I was by no means drunk, in fact, when I saw her I lost the urge to drink. I didn't want to do anything stupid, ya know? So I just chilled, tried to keep a level head. But it's hard when everytime you're talking to your friends, your ex comes and shakes her ass on you. Why? I don't know, she's evil. Strike 2 for weird behavior. Pretty soon, I was fed up. I was tired of pretending, and it was getting late. The constant eye contact, and non-subtle flirting was getting the best of me. I gathered my drunken roommates and started saying my goodbyes. It's strange when your friends and her friends are the same people. So I said my goodbyes, and avoided her. But then, I figured, "let's give this acting one more shot". I went up to her and said, "nice to see you _______, glad to see you're doing well, you look good, later". And I walked away, but only for her to grab me, hug me tight and look in my eyes. I saw that look all night, but up close it was even more painful. She still had love for me, and I'm sure she saw the same eyes staring back. "It was good to see you too_______" As I drove home on that dark and windy road leading home, images of the night flashed through my head, as well as memories that seemed so close that her and I shared. I honestly was not prepared to see her there last night, but I did my best to make sure I didn't look miserable. The urge to hold her and kiss her was painfully strong all night, her perfume still lingered on my jacket, her face crystal clear in my mind. I keep telling myself, "this will get better with time, let her go". If only it was that simple... This will be one of many encounters with the ex during summer.
kizik Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 DAMN! That is an incredibly tough story for me to read. Well, it sounds like she does still care about you (love you?) but the games aspect of your night would have driven me f*cking crazy. Personally I would avoid at all costs putting myself in such close proximity of my ex... I know you guys have the same friends, but it seems to me that seeing her "many times" during the summer, as you expect, is not going to be a positive thing. "Out of sight, out of mind" and all that, it's going to be hard to get over her when you see her at parties and such. I suggest working on making an additional group of friends. I DON'T see the above story as a positive experience. Sounds painful and like it may have set you back.
mark982 Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 sounds like if you keep it up, you'll have one interesting summer.I'm not a big fan of running from your problems.if your mental state can handle it enjoy it. nothing like f ing with her head.
CailinPig Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 tricky situation. see, it doesnt mean she loves you, it means shes atracted to you stil and wants you in that way and knows that you find her sttractive too. i dunno dude! if u want it to get more complicated, see her again and again. if u wanna get over her, forget bout it and avoid her at all costs.
sunshinegirl Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Oh god, that would be way too much drama for me to endure. As someone else said, it doesn't mean she loves you, it might well just mean she's attracted to you and/or is horny. My ex and I always had incredible chemistry but it was obviously not enough to glue the relationship together. He would probably still have sex with me if I let him - it wouldn't mean that we should get back together, ESPECIALLY after his cheating given that I've lost all respect for him. That being said, I would still be completely thrown to see him time and again in social settings post-breakup. This kind of push-pull excitement is not ultimately rewarding. I would recommend that you try to avoid her at all cost - it will only set your healing back to run into her like this.
Author JustPassingThru Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 What a ****ty experience....I hate the fact that I know I will run into her again. Without warning. The part that gets me is how she could act so unaffected by this whole ordeal, or perhaps it wasn't an act at all and she has no heart. Who knows? This was a definite step back for me, and I'm feeling worse than ever. Why did she have to mess with me?
0hpenelope Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 NFC? Check. Good job on that point. The ones who know the real deal between you guys? Yeah, they know what's wrong on all sorts of levels. I have to commend you for staying. I would've shown up to the party for at least an hour or so just so I can say I went, but I wouldn't have stayed as long as you did (did you say how long you stayed? ). I would've avoided any and all contact with Lawrence like he was the plague. That was a little hard to read, I have to agree. I sympathize.
Author JustPassingThru Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 NFC? Check. Good job on that point. The ones who know the real deal between you guys? Yeah, they know what's wrong on all sorts of levels. I have to commend you for staying. I would've shown up to the party for at least an hour or so just so I can say I went, but I wouldn't have stayed as long as you did (did you say how long you stayed? ). I would've avoided any and all contact with Lawrence like he was the plague. That was a little hard to read, I have to agree. I sympathize. Well, I didn't want her to ruin my fun. Yet she inevitably did. If there hadn't been so many people there, especially people I hadn't seen in ages, I would have hit the road. But I had a decent time, aside from the mind trickery she was playing. I just didn't want her to see she could have that power over me, the power to just put me down. I stayed until 2:30am before I could no more. Who knows how long her and her friends were there... She's back in my head with a vengeance, and there is no pushing it away. I'm really mad that I had to see her so soon. Granted, even months down the road it would have been hard. I wish I could her strength, and that ability to just forget. This constant staying busy BS is wearing me down.
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