Confession: I made out with a married man last night....

[Gawdess]

I was told this, almost exactly when I interviewed for my first teaching job. Maybe it is just the region I am in, but if you were to come to my state and start messing with a married coworker and it got out, at best you'd be transferred to another school, but more likely you would be fired.

 

What you think about your personal life and your entitlement to it doesn't mean squat when you have angry parents approaching the school board about what they see as immoral behavior. If word gets out among the students, you are as good as hosed. Everyone will know then.

 

Don't be surprised if things don't bode well if you are found out.

 

Uhh, yeah, I get it. We kissed and no one found out about it. He's not telling anyone either. We were careful to hide and not get caught, today was business as usual. People seem not to have understood when I posted I wasn't going to do it again. Hon, I've been teaching for 10 years now, I get it.

[Gawdess]

Yeah, I have no attraction to young people and I would never do that.

What people are inside their heads, who knows? There are all kinds of people out there, as long as it doesn't affect their teaching.....if I were teaching your kid, you wouldn't know the difference. I have met most 90% of my students' parents and they have no problem with me as their son/daughter's teacher. Believe me, if I were immoral and it were coming across in any way in the classroom, then parents would be the first to call in and complain.

 

 

I'd be concerned if she was my son's teacher.

 

Her bad judgement in this one area is probably not isolated. Also, I believe I stated that many times (read not ALWAYS) are the teachers who are disliked the best teachers. We've all had teachers who were tough and we didn't like them...but they were some of the teachers we learned the most from.

 

I don't know, to me what she did was not even the worst of it. And she did say she wouldn't do it again. It's the way she gloats about it and the fact that she says she has NO regrets.

 

That tells me she can justify pretty much anything in her mind.

 

"That 14 year old was coming on to ME. He encouraged it."

[Gawdess]

Actually I've read cases on school districts who attempted to fire a teacher for having affairs with other married teachers in the buildings and legally you can't fire someone for what they do in their own personal life. If it were found out I made out with a married teacher, they couldn't fire me because it has nothing to do with our job performance.

Even if I had screwed him, they couldn't fire us unless it happened on school grounds.

[Gawdess]

Eh, I am a good person. I made a mistake. Human beings make mistakes. An attractive, fun man made a pass at me. Yes, his wife has been rude to me for no reason all year simply because she doesn't like to deal with the IEP kids. She needs to retire, but don't take it out on me. It did make it easier, not because it was "revenge" but because it helped me understand why this guy would want some fun. I don't hate her or anything, I just emphasize with him. He married her 7 years ago and now he's probably like 'what the hell did I get myself into?"

I'm not gloating and I don't feel justified, I just understand.

Even Woggle has stated several times he understands why men who have bitchy wives would cheat.

 

 

And maybe you should go back to school and learn that GOOD people don't make out with married men because their wives were "snotty." People have affairs for a lot of reasons, but petty bitchiness is crap.

 

What I have learned in my life, is that if a woman is "snotty" to me, I generally ignore her. I don't make it a point to try and pick up her husband and then feel justified about doing it. Where you learned that it is appropriate to get with her husband and then feel she deserves it for being "snotty", is schooling I want no part of.

 

Karma, karma, karma, girlie. Please do report back on what the Universe will bring you for this one. I am sure it will be grand and appropriate.

 

And IMO, your morality has EVERYTHING to do with how effective you are at your job. You are not doing data entry, or flipping burgers at McD's. You are responsible for shaping young minds - for helping to teach them right from wrong. And if this is how you feel GOOD people behave, then no one is going to teach you right from wrong at this stage of your life.

 

And let me refresh your memory. Here was your opening post:

 

I don't feel really guilty since his wife has been rude and snotty to me all year and I could see why he would want some relief from her (she is totally bitchy, lol.)

 

it was secret revenge against this teacher who has been a total ass to me.

[Touche]

That's right, LB.

 

Stories like this come out all the time:

 

http://theregoesdave.com/2008/05/02/fired-florida-bikini-teacher-pics-and-poll/

 

Apparently many schools DO care about what their teachers do on their own time.

 

And again, that's why I say that it may not be this particular incident that will come back and bite the OP, but it will be something, sometime down the line.

[SpikeyChick]

My gawd... most people cheat these days.. so my bet is that we are ALL dealing with a cheater somehow.. (teacher, lawyer, doctor, etc.. etc... etc... etc....)

 

I can't believe what I read here..

 

Perhaps you are willing to accept it - most of us are not, and MOST people do NOT cheat.. Cheating is both a character defect and a moral weakness. Cheating is NOT an acceptable behavior because it BETRAYS an emotional bond and profoundly harms a relationship between two people who bonded in love and trust.

Cheating further breaches the explicit and implicit contracts that exists.

 

Lissie points out that it is widespread - if that is true then it is even more appalling.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

May not make him/her a bad person but it definately makes their reputation very questionable. I mean if I was going to hire an architect and I knew that the person was known to sleep around with married folks, I wouldn't be hiring him/her!

 

 

Geez, I wonder if Frank Gehry or Frank Lloyd Wright ever cheated on their wives. I think if I had the cash I would still hire either one of them.

 

Not that I'm agreeing with adultery, but come on.

[Citizen Erased]

My gawd... most people cheat these days.. so my bet is that we are ALL dealing with a cheater somehow.. (teacher, lawyer, doctor, etc.. etc... etc... etc....)

 

I can't believe what I read here..

 

Perhaps. But when you are a teacher you have a certain responsibility, and going for a co-workers husband is incredibly low. If she is too lazy to find a real man rather than this cheating sack of crap, fine. But how incredibly stupid to go for someone you have to work with, especially when she is meant to be a role model for the students at the school.

 

It's bigger then well everyone cheats so she is fine. Go along and screw on the headmaster's desk.

[Gawdess]

I know you would all love it if something really awful happened to me, thanks!

 

 

That's right, LB.

 

Stories like this come out all the time:

 

http://theregoesdave.com/2008/05/02/fired-florida-bikini-teacher-pics-and-poll/

 

Apparently many schools DO care about what their teachers do on their own time.

 

And again, that's why I say that it may not be this particular incident that will come back and bite the OP, but it will be something, sometime down the line.

[Gawdess]

For one thing, he went after me. For another, we just made out. Your comprehension skills must be pretty low because I already said it wasn't going to happen again.

It wasn't even the point about what my job is anyway, that was totally beside the point and has nothing to do with it.

 

 

Perhaps. But when you are a teacher you have a certain responsibility, and going for a co-workers husband is incredibly low. If she is too lazy to find a real man rather than this cheating sack of crap, fine. But how incredibly stupid to go for someone you have to work with, especially when she is meant to be a role model for the students at the school.

 

It's bigger then well everyone cheats so she is fine. Go along and screw on the headmaster's desk.

[Touche]

Do statistics bear out the fact that "most" people cheat? I don't know. I somehow doubt that. I'm approaching 50 years on this earth and have never encountered a cheating man. I know they're out there for sure but if most cheated I would think I would have run across one or two. Never have.

 

Also, CE...I don't think it's a matter of "laziness" but one of opportunity.

[SpikeyChick]

I have friend, more of an acquaintance I guess.She is 36 years old.

She is a skilled "special needs " teacher who is employed in a public school. She has two young children who attend another local private catholic school.

She is have an affair with one of the male teachers at the catholic school which is educating her children. Their affair is common knowledge on campus and amongst the other mothers.

 

Your thoughts ?

[Cherry Blossom 35]

I have friend, more of an acquaintance I guess.She is 36 years old.

She is a skilled "special needs " teacher who is employed in a public school. She has two young children who attend another local private catholic school.

She is have an affair with one of the male teachers at the catholic school which is educating her children. Their affair is common knowledge on campus and amongst the other mothers.

 

Your thoughts ?

 

 

What do the mothers think? General concensus?

[whichwayisup]

For one thing, he went after me.

 

Did the thought ever cross your mind to say NO to him? You both are to blame here, more him than you but seeing as how much you resent/hate your wife, you used that as an excuse to go for a little make out session.

[Gawdess]

Do statistics bear out the fact that "most" people cheat? I don't know. I somehow doubt that. I'm approaching 50 years on this earth and have never encountered a cheating man. I know they're out there for sure but if most cheated I would think I would have run across one or two. Never have.

 

Also, CE...I don't think it's a matter of "laziness" but one of opportunity. You get it get it where you can I guess. At least that's the way it is for some people. Sad isn't it?

 

No, it's not like that. I don't have any trouble dating. This topic is really getting under your skin. I bet I know why.

[Citizen Erased]

Do statistics bear out the fact that "most" people cheat? I don't know. I somehow doubt that. I'm approaching 50 years on this earth and have never encountered a cheating man. I know they're out there for sure but if most cheated I would think I would have run across one or two. Never have.

 

Also, CE...I don't think it's a matter of "laziness" but one of opportunity. You get it get it where you can I guess. At least that's the way it is for some people. Sad isn't it?

 

You're a very fortunate woman then.

 

It may not be laziness, I'm just not wanting to be banned for using some other descriptive words. And yes, it is incredibly sad.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Do statistics bear out the fact that "most" people cheat? I don't know. I somehow doubt that. I'm approaching 50 years on this earth and have never encountered a cheating man. I know they're out there for sure but if most cheated I would think I would have run across one or two. Never have.

 

Also, CE...I don't think it's a matter of "laziness" but one of opportunity.

 

 

Whaaaaaat????? Seriously???? They're probably just not telling you.

[Gawdess]

Did the thought ever cross your mind to say NO to him? You both are to blame here, more him than you but seeing as how much you resent/hate your wife, you used that as an excuse to go for a little make out session.

 

If I she were a really nice person I would feel badly about it. I just felt like, hey, he's attractive and fun, why not?

He's not feeling remorse, he stopped by my room today to see if we could do it again sometime. I said "No, thanks. You'll just have to have the memory of the night we had."

He was disappointed.

But really, it was business as usual today. Another coworker at the bar brought photos of the night, we were looking them over and laughing at lunch.

[Tony]

This thread has run its course. I am very disappointed in members who put the OP down for having the courage to make an admission. Far too many people who come here are extremely judgmental and fail to reply constructively with positive comments and advice. It seems a whole lot of people here like to put others down and that to me is the saddest thing of all.

 

Thread closed!