EMBeee Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Hello all, I'm new to LDR's and right now my LD bf is going through a bit of depression. It seems that he goes through these down phases every so often and when he is down, he doesn't talk much and isolates himself. I mean, we do talk on the phone, but not as much as we used to... because of his depression... he sleeps more, tired more etc... I think it's because right now is the summer season and it's bringing up all of his divorce issues since one year ago is when he and his ex got divorced and maybe the summer is bringing that all out... I know it does for me at least. So, since we are 1000 miles apart and I really really want to be "there" for him the best way I can (since I can't be physically), what can I do for him? I call him and text him and send him emails to let him know I'm "there" and that I care... but I don't want to look and feel to "pushy" with him, I don't want to smother him, especially if he needs time to think and to be alone. I want him to know I do care and will always be there for him no matter what. I've sent him packages before and wanted to do so again -- a care package of some sort. Does anyone have any suggestions? What type of items would I send to someone who is down right now? When he's been through these phases, it's not usually this long. He's been going through this now for 2 weeks. Usually it passes. I don't know, when he does this I feel like he has lost interest in me, but he assures me it has nothing to do with me and hasn't lost interest... but I do feel neglected. How can I cheer him up??? Anybody been through this before? Thanks!
TMichaels Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 EMBeee, Sorry to hear your b/f is having a tough time of it. But, kudos to you for trying to think of ways to make things better for him. As far as the "care package" idea goes... The more "personalized" the better. Kinda hard for a stranger to know what would be appropriate for another, but certainly you must know what makes him smile? Most people smile when they're "tickled." Better yet, is to tickle someone as a surprise. So, think of how you could do that... As a starting point are there any special jokes, sentiments, foods, pastimes, locations, songs, scents, etc that are meaningful or special to him and/or the two of you? Make it fun... Send him a video of yourself doing something goofy or that might be a clue about a "mystery gift" you've sent him. Send him a balloon bouquet. Make a game out of it... Get a special photo made into a jigsaw puzzle, send a piece a day with a special message or clue. Make it memorable... Arrange a surprise gift like to have a pizza delivered; create a personalized calendar with photos of you, him, the two of you, etc.; get one of those greeting cards that allow you to record a silly message/sounds/music and record something that will make him grin. The possibilities are really endless if you just spend a little time thinking about what is meaningful and fun for the two of you... HTH, TMichaels
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