Matt105 Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Been seeing a girl for about a month now. we do have some history in the past, but we took a few months apart and really started coming together about a month ago. since then we've hung out like 5-6 days out of each week either during the day or at night (and usually both). So I would say we were dating though we haven't actually talked about "being together" I would definitely say that if either of us hooked up with someone else, it would really hurt the other person. With that being said, it started off with lots of lust/passion between us.. sex, all that jazz. she really is a great girl and we get along so well. there are some things about her that annoy me, but i won't go into that because that isn't what this thread is about. Well, about 2 weeks ago she started her period. About 1.5 weeks ago she started using birth control (Luz) and her period hasn't stopped since then (2 weeks!!). I'm telling her to go see her doctor about it, and she agrees she should, but she hasn't. So I guess she is (and esp. me) hoping it will stop soon. So I will admit a few days into her period we were fooling around and she was feeling horny and asked if I would mind having sex even though she was on her period. We did, it was fun, not really messy at all. Well, since then, we haven't done anything sexual (1.5 weeks now). We still kiss and cuddle and all that stuff.. but when I try to move things to the next level she stops me. And now.. as I am writing this, I am realizing I might be being selfish because she probably doesn't want to have sex on her period again? I don't know. I'd like -something- though.. I mean, this girl is great, but I'm just unsure about her because her sex drive was really strong, and now it seems nonexistant. I don't know if it is her period, her birth control, or if this is just how she is and at the beginning it was exciting for her to fool around a lot and now she just wants me there to cuddle/kiss. She still wants to hangout ALL the freaking time, so I guess the only thing bugging me is the whole sexuality issue. So today we spent the afternoon painting her room together, and then went out to dinner with her parents. All went well, her parents actually sent her a text afterwards saying they loved me (what can I say? haha..). So we come back to my house. We started playing this stupid video game that she wanted to play and she started complaining about her back hurting. So I gave her a back massage with oil and it was really nice. Then we kinda go back to the game, and I messed up because I forgot something she told me about it and she goes "I feel like you don't listen to me sometimes". WTF. She tells me that after I just gave her this really nice massage and spent the whole day painting her room and going to dinner with her and her parents, and she tells me that over a freaking video game?? That bugged me so I was just like "ok? i'm sorry?" and rolled over and took a short little nap because she was deadset on playing this game. Then she woke me up and we kissed and she left. Whatever. This is just a rant I guess. I'm just frustrated because the little things about her are starting to get to me. Maybe we just need some time apart (more than one day). She isn't providing me with any sexual gratification which is bugging the hell out of me because she still wants to do all the foreplay and then not followthrough with an ending to it. I think the thing that worries me is that what if this is really her sex drive? Like once / week? If I had my way, I'd want it multiple times / day, haha! But really, if hers is so low, and mine is so high, it worries me that this might be something that comes between us.
Star Gazer Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 How old are you? While I agree sex is an important part of a relationship, it honestly sounds like you're much more interested in SEX than HER.
ibitealil Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Tell her how you feel and what you want...she has no clue if you dont tell her that and ye Birth control pills makes the sex drive low because it gives balance to the hormones. So try to talk to her and try things that makes her horny..ask her what makes her horny...the argument has nothing to do with her sex drive though. She wants you to be more attentive to her and to what she says so give her what she wants...but other than that it doesnt seem like you have major problem..you can work it out..good luck
dreamergrl Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 There was a time I went on birth control and it effected my sex drive for a long time. Once it set into my system I wanted nothing to do with sex, and got very irritated when my ex fiance tried to have sex with me. I also ended up with my period for over a month. BC affects every girl differently. Instead of ranting about it, talk to her about it. Having her period for so long and being on this bc may be affecting her mood.
sfsassy Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 How old are you? While I agree sex is an important part of a relationship, it honestly sounds like you're much more interested in SEX than HER. I think that in this case, he is just worried, because she had a high sex drive, and now she doesn't. I'm a woman with a pretty high sex drive, so I understand where he is coming from. If it was just sex don't think he would have met the parents. Although I agree that the best thing to do is to have a talk with her about it. I know when I started BC I was really moody, so I wouldn't be surprised iif all of this is interralated. The sex drive is one thing, but no one wants someone who gets mad at you for very little things. You might want to ask her about dosage. I know at first I was on a very high dosage, and that didn't work out well. (and I'm petite so didn't need it at all that strong!) It's early enough in the relationship that you are exploring what both of you want, and little things do matter. So have a nice, nonconfrontational talk about both her moodiness and her sex drive. (Not like "we aren't having sex, and I'm going nus, and you are turning into a b**** too, " but more like " I so enjoy being with you, and you don't seem as into it as you were , and you also seem very agitated. I want you to be happy, so do you know what is up?") Do not call her moody, insecure, that will just make her MORE moody!
Author Matt105 Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 sfsassy you hit the nail on the head. it's not just about sex. i'm genuinely liking this girl. but i was worried about the sex drive. however... today we went rock climbing together (it was her first time hehe). it was a great time for both (i learned she was afraid of heights and was able to talk and comfort her whenever she would get scared). we came home, ate some leftover curry we had made the other night, and then watched an episode of lost. things got a little heated and we ended up having some amazing sex. i think i was just frustrated the other night, looking back, i probably shouldn't have made the post in the first place. but like i said, i was just venting we were just having an offnight last night, and i came on here to post about my frustration because i needed to tell other people, haha. but today was incredibly fun with her and tonight just topped it all off.
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