SlightyConfused Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Hello all! Within the last 5 days, my girlfriend of a few months has left me because I told her I love her. In the week preceding, she came home from a trip telling me all about how much she'd thought about the direction of our relationship and how she wanted to try for the sake of us and take down walls...how us seeing each other somehow made life more complete. At the precise time of my declaration, she went into a mellow fit. "Great" she sighed, and threw her hands up in frustration. She huffed and puffed for 45 minutes about how she didn't want this, she didn't know what she wanted but that she was not THERE, and it was unexpected, that I had taken all the wonderful things she'd come home saying WAY too seriously...She left saying we'd talk. I sent her an email 2 days later offering some clarification on what love means to me, and how both she and I had been saying it all along in different ways. Most importantly, that my saying it out loud, changes nothing in the dynamic of our relationship as it had existed between us for some time already. She responded saying she'd taken a day to think about what feels right, and she didn't want us to see each other any more. I said okay. That it was fun. I wished her all the best, and said goodbye. I don't feel I've done something wrong here, but I don't feel so good about the way this is going. Does anyone have any insight into what has happened here?
kizik Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 No insight. She sounds like a loony f*cking bitch. Not to simplify it that much, but seriously.. anyone who flips on you when you tell them you love them?! F*ck them!
J2FT1 Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Hello all! Within the last 5 days, my girlfriend of a few months has left me because I told her I love her. In the week preceding, she came home from a trip telling me all about how much she'd thought about the direction of our relationship and how she wanted to try for the sake of us and take down walls...how us seeing each other somehow made life more complete. At the precise time of my declaration, she went into a mellow fit. "Great" she sighed, and threw her hands up in frustration. She huffed and puffed for 45 minutes about how she didn't want this, she didn't know what she wanted but that she was not THERE, and it was unexpected, that I had taken all the wonderful things she'd come home saying WAY too seriously...She left saying we'd talk. I sent her an email 2 days later offering some clarification on what love means to me, and how both she and I had been saying it all along in different ways. Most importantly, that my saying it out loud, changes nothing in the dynamic of our relationship as it had existed between us for some time already. She responded saying she'd taken a day to think about what feels right, and she didn't want us to see each other any more. I said okay. That it was fun. I wished her all the best, and said goodbye. I don't feel I've done something wrong here, but I don't feel so good about the way this is going. Does anyone have any insight into what has happened here? Do you really love her, though? After a few month, only? And it seems like she was clearly not looking for the same thing as you.
Author SlightyConfused Posted June 8, 2008 Author Posted June 8, 2008 Yes I did love her after only a few months, and I get it now. It's because I said it out loud. She wanted to play a game, it looks like, about denying the importance of our relationship and not dealing with the reality of it and my saying it out loud brought it all crashing down. It makes perfect sense with everything she said and everything that's happened. To her I say: grow the **** up!
Template Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 YES!! That's what I'm talking about SC. Let it out. Let it all out. As much as I love this forum and the members on it; we all dwell in the why me, and self loathing (no offense anyone). I love to hear when people get mad AND express it. I think that's a MAJOR step to recovery, and I love seeing people start to recover, and become stronger. I have no doubt you have loved her. She clearly didn't feel the same way. That alone makes me feel that she didn't deserve you and what you can offer. Move on, and save your love for someone that knows how special love is.
fran82 Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 hey sc, i'm writing this from a slightly similar position, i wanted to take my 4yr r/ship further, but my now ex didn't, it was a ldr, when i suggested moving closer together (yet not moving in together) he freaked out to the max! alarm bells! he didn't love me enough, not easy to come to terms with, still to this day. what i've learned from it is that, yes, like you said they need to grow up, but we've chosen the wrong type of person. selfish and self obsessed, only concerned with how whatever happens effects only them! they dont care really, i doubt they know how! (ranting a little, sorry) your right you haven't done anything wrong, you've just been too nice to someone who now you know, doesn't deserve it. remember that.
carhill Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Yes I did love her after only a few months, and I get it now. It's because I said it out loud. She wanted to play a game, it looks like, about denying the importance of our relationship and not dealing with the reality of it and my saying it out loud brought it all crashing down. It makes perfect sense with everything she said and everything that's happened. To her I say: grow the **** up! OP, take comfort that you might have provided this person a signpost along the "growing up" path Love is a gift you give. What the recipient does with that gift in no way changes or affects its value. Its value is you
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