WTF? He's not that into me?

[Mary3]

Sorry "Mary" but you are just a little too negative. You don't know me, so I don't care what "vibe" you get.

 

Oh I can read you quite well....

[kendallawaits]

O.K. Mary. Why don't you go harass someone else's post?

[refurb]

O.K. Mary. Why don't you go harass someone else's post?

 

Cat fight!

 

RF

[kendallawaits]

She is obviously very bored. But I'm done with that.

[blind_otter]

She is obviously very bored. But I'm done with that.

 

Just an FYI, there is an "ignore" feature on LS that I use sometimes, when people are being especially flamey.

[Krytie TV]

Though I don't necessarily agree with Mary's tactic, I really do have to admit that I'm inclined to agree with her, in a way I can't quite figure out yet. It's an opinion, that's what forums are about.

[kendallawaits]

Though I don't necessarily agree with Mary's tactic, I really do have to admit that I'm inclined to agree with her, in a way I can't quite figure out yet. It's an opinion, that's what forums are about.

 

Mary's tactic about what? Me?

 

Thats ok.

[Mary3]

Mary's tactic about what? Me?

 

Thats ok.

 

Everything is good. I won't be replying to your post anymore Kendall.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

So here's my question. Girl asks guy out. He says yes. Obviously she's interested in knowing him outside the office. He can't go when she wants to go so offers another time. She can't go then. He DOESN'T OFFER to go another time or day. If someone asked me out and I couldn't make it, I would say, hey, that's not going to work, how about Thursday? After Kendell says she can't do 8:15, why didn't he offer another day, if he really wanted to go?

 

I guess I just don't understand why he would have SO much fear of rejection at this point. He must know that she would be a little disappointed that he couldn't go to the movie.

 

 

Kendall, I don't know why the guy it acting this way. Maybe he thought you were bitchy or immature. I just don't know. I do have one question, though. If he does like you, and he is so afraid of rejection that he can't ask you straight away if you want to go to the movie, what else is he afraid to do? What kind of fraidy cat is this?

 

There's obviously a lot going on here that we can't see online. I really don't know exactly what happened or how he perceives it. I'm just throwing out some questions.

[kendallawaits]

So here's my question. Girl asks guy out. He says yes. Obviously she's interested in knowing him outside the office. He can't go when she wants to go so offers another time. She can't go then. He DOESN'T OFFER to go another time or day. If someone asked me out and I couldn't make it, I would say, hey, that's not going to work, how about Thursday? After Kendell says she can't do 8:15, why didn't he offer another day, if he really wanted to go?

 

I guess I just don't understand why he would have SO much fear of rejection at this point. He must know that she would be a little disappointed that he couldn't go to the movie.

 

 

Kendall, I don't know why the guy it acting this way. Maybe he thought you were bitchy or immature. I just don't know. I do have one question, though. If he does like you, and he is so afraid of rejection that he can't ask you straight away if you want to go to the movie, what else is he afraid to do? What kind of fraidy cat is this?

 

There's obviously a lot going on here that we can't see online. I really don't know exactly what happened or how he perceives it. I'm just throwing out some questions.

 

 

I don't have any clue. I want to flirt with him and see if that helps BUT I don't want to look desperate. I already asked him out. He made a totally random comment today about having movie passes and didn't say anything else. He was very attentive today, asking me to come over to his desk to make random conversation, coming by my desk to make more random conversation. Keep in mind we our desk are side by side. There is a cubicle wall so we can't see each other but we can have conversations just by sitting at our own seats and talking over the wall. He doesn't have to come over to my desk to talk to me or vice versa.

[kendallawaits]

Since my first day, I thought he was a mysterious individual and maybe that is what some of the appeal was/is. I want to know more about him and if that is just as a friend, I'm ok with that. I'm just not sure how much longer I can deal with this weird "limbo" we seem to be stuck in.

[Gawdess]

He may just be hesitant because you work so closely. I don't have a problem with interoffice dating but it could get tricky if you date a few weeks, it doesn't work out (such as if one of you wants to end it and the other is left hurt/angry).

So maybe it is him just being cautious before he makes a move.

[daphne]

Kendall,

 

I may have misunderstood the movie passes thing, but I think that was a golden opportunity for you. He threw you a lob. I understand that you're not asking him out again. But if you can muster up your confidence, and not expect rejection (which you are doing again), you would have been better served to ask him about the passes with a smile. You throw the lob back and see what he has to say. If he has invited someone else, you tell him you hope he has a good time and you move on.

 

One thing I've learned is that the quicker you learn not to take things personally, flirting gets a lot easier. Not every conversation is meant to end in marriage. Enjoy it and lighten up a little. He's very shy, and I think he was trying to get a point across that he may have been disappointed about the movie as well. The least you owe yourself is to find out. Next time he throws out a lob, flirt. Ask questions. You don't have to say "so are you planning on taking me?" But if you were super confident you could do that with a twinkle in your eye and I'd be willing to bet he would take you. Practice makes perfect so try it on him. I promise, once you master this dating becomes soooo much easier.

 

Confidence is very attractive to both sexes and when a woman can hold her own and stay rational, she tends to draw more men.

[kendallawaits]

Kendall,

 

I may have misunderstood the movie passes thing, but I think that was a golden opportunity for you. He threw you a lob. I understand that you're not asking him out again. But if you can muster up your confidence, and not expect rejection (which you are doing again), you would have been better served to ask him about the passes with a smile. You throw the lob back and see what he has to say. If he has invited someone else, you tell him you hope he has a good time and you move on.

 

One thing I've learned is that the quicker you learn not to take things personally, flirting gets a lot easier. Not every conversation is meant to end in marriage. Enjoy it and lighten up a little. He's very shy, and I think he was trying to get a point across that he may have been disappointed about the movie as well. The least you owe yourself is to find out. Next time he throws out a lob, flirt. Ask questions. You don't have to say "so are you planning on taking me?" But if you were super confident you could do that with a twinkle in your eye and I'd be willing to bet he would take you. Practice makes perfect so try it on him. I promise, once you master this dating becomes soooo much easier.

 

Confidence is very attractive to both sexes and when a woman can hold her own and stay rational, she tends to draw more men.

 

 

I wanted to ask him but we were interrupted by another coworker and I had to step away at that exact moment. I thought he may bring it up again during the day, but he didn't. God, I'm bad at this, lol.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Kendall,

 

I may have misunderstood the movie passes thing, but I think that was a golden opportunity for you. He threw you a lob. I understand that you're not asking him out again. But if you can muster up your confidence, and not expect rejection (which you are doing again), you would have been better served to ask him about the passes with a smile. You throw the lob back and see what he has to say. If he has invited someone else, you tell him you hope he has a good time and you move on.

 

One thing I've learned is that the quicker you learn not to take things personally, flirting gets a lot easier. Not every conversation is meant to end in marriage. Enjoy it and lighten up a little. He's very shy, and I think he was trying to get a point across that he may have been disappointed about the movie as well. The least you owe yourself is to find out. Next time he throws out a lob, flirt. Ask questions. You don't have to say "so are you planning on taking me?" But if you were super confident you could do that with a twinkle in your eye and I'd be willing to bet he would take you. Practice makes perfect so try it on him. I promise, once you master this dating becomes soooo much easier.

 

Confidence is very attractive to both sexes and when a woman can hold her own and stay rational, she tends to draw more men.

 

 

Daphne is really right about this. You CAN flirt and have fun in a very light way if you have confidence. This confidence means that you believe that you are a hot, cool chick who would be a great catch for anyone. Once you start thinking like this, you will start to feel it. Even if you don't feel it at first, just fake it till you make it! Trust me, this works

 

A twinkle in your eye...

[norajane]

I wanted to ask him but we were interrupted by another coworker and I had to step away at that exact moment. I thought he may bring it up again during the day, but he didn't. God, I'm bad at this, lol.

 

I would have said, "Movie passes - how perfect! We'll be able to use them when we go to see xyz movie!"

 

Which gives him the opening to ask what day to go.

 

Basically, an assumptive approach. When you couldn't get the times to work last Friday, he did say to go another day, right? So you are safe in assuming he meant to go another day, and by bringing up the passes, he was offering them for the movie.

 

He had NO reason AT ALL to bring up having those passes unless he wanted to use them to go to a movie with you. Do you see that? What other purpose would he have for telling you about them?

[nicki]

I get the idea that he IS very shy. That brings up a few issues.

 

First, do you think it's a shyness thing about asking you out and it will end after you two go out? Or do you think his inability to "go for it" is indicative of a bigger problem, like he can't confront or he is a passive person? Relationship killers.

 

I think that's what Trialbyfire was talking about. Guys who don't do their part in the courting rituals are often lazy and passive in relationships.

 

That said, if you think he's simply too shy to ask you out and it's not a character defect, then go for the movie pass inroad. I think he was trying to ask you out again.

 

Next time you see him, smile, touch his bicep, smile again and say "So, what movie should we see with those movie passes?" Winking is optional.

 

I am usually over the top flirty with a shy guy, and will often ask them out myself, but I do watch them to make sure they have the ability to be proactive and plan future dates if we start dating.

[kendallawaits]

I do think that once I got him out of the "work environment" he would be more comfortable. When there are other coworkers around, he is VERY quiet. But as soon as it is just him and I, he won't shut up.

[kendallawaits]

Have any of you ever asked out a guy before? If so how did it go?

[nicki]

Exactly what NoraJane said. Assume the best. Assume he wants you. Act accordingly.

 

If for some reason that turns out not to be the case, and he declines going out with you, smile and say okay, no biggie. That's sexy, too. (but I think he's interested!)

 

A twinkle in your eye and red thong panties under your skirt really work at putting out a sexy confident vibe....

[nicki]

It's a great sign that he opens up with you one on one! I agree, get him away from work.

 

Ask him out for a drink. Tell him that you are going to XYZ bar for a glass of wine/shot of tequila/etc. after work, does he want to join you? Smile big when you ask him. Before you ask him, tell him you love talking to him and would like to be able to do it without getting interrupted by coworkers!

[Cherry Blossom 35]

I just read an interview with Steve Carrell, the 40 year old virgin

 

He said he was always really shy with women and never really asked them out. He was friends with his wife for a while before they dated. She was a bartender and he would hang out at her bar and say things like, hey, if I was to go out with a girl, it would be a girl like you. But he never asked her out! So, really roundabout basically!

[daphne]

It can be a tough ride with a shy guy. If they're super passive, like nicki and trial said, it can wear on a relationship since they probably won't take much initiative in it either. Or in responsibilities. Just my experience. I felt very much like the grownup taking care of everything. I didn't much like it.

 

But some guys are simply shy out of fear of rejection and make great partners. It doesn't sound like you've had a lot of experience, so you're going to have to make some and figure out what you like.

 

One of my exes who was super shy and admitted to it later, took months to ask me out. He'd sit next to me and when I still didn't notice him or even register that he'd been sitting next to me, basically had to clear his throat and say that he was going to sit next to me again, as usual. I was like "oh?" When he moved in for the first kiss a couple of weeks after we finally started dating, I teased him relentlessly. He made me wait forever, so I got him back. He moved in to kiss me and I moved in, and pulled back with a grin and that twinkle in my eye. He had the look of a very scared animal. Shy guys are fun to mess with.

[kendallawaits]

Well,

 

I mentioned it today. I said by the way "when are we going to see the movie? I said I was waiting for you to get back to me", and he goes "Oh I didn't know that, I can't go this weekend" He was just saying that he didn't have plans this weekend! What the hell?

 

I just think he likes the attention I have been giving him. I'm so over it. I feel like a moron all over again.

[Trialbyfire]

Well,

 

I mentioned it today. I said by the way "when are we going to see the movie? I said I was waiting for you to get back to me", and he goes "Oh I didn't know that, I can't go this weekend" He was just saying that he didn't have plans this weekend! What the hell?

 

I just think he likes the attention I have been giving him. I'm so over it. I feel like a moron all over again.

Now you know why I don't bother with men like this. A waste of time and emotion, unless you're having fun jacking him around.