loomis Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 So I haven't been in contact with the ex for a week. Yesterday she text me asking if she had any mail. (she wouldn't go and get her address changed so she gets stupid junk mail and stuff) When we broke up I told I would put all her mail on her car, or just in her mail box so that we don't have to see each other. She knows that I don't want to see her. Anyway I told her I had put it on her friends car under the windshield wiper.(I do the same thing if her car is there) Her friends car was in the drive way and its in a good neighborhood so I wasn't scared of it getting stolen. She then sends me a text saying, "will you please tell me when you bring mail? Ill just come out and get it. I don't want it to get stolen" (she knows I don't want to have to talk to her to give her, her mail so i don't know whats going through her head) I told her "I guess or Ill just put it in your mail box if you want" She then didn't text back. I was kind pissed because she was being immature. she asked a question, I answered it, and then she doesn't say like ok, or thats fine. I asked her 'well did you get your mail last night?' she says "no, I haven't gotten anything' I didn't say anything because I was upset that I'm being this stupid errand boy for her. She then sends me one says "its ok, don't worry about it. Im sure she has my mail. please just tell me next time you bring my mail" that was it, I don't want to have to see her and i have reached my limit. I just said "you can just go to the post office and fill out the form so that your mail will get forwarded to your address, that way things don't get mixed up anymore" I know why she hasn't done this and its so she can keep me on a little string. she then says "I will do that for sure. I already changed it for the important stuff" I just said "good" and she says. "i can always come over and get my mail too" I didn't even text her back saying anything. She knows I don't want to see her. AHHHHH Im sick of her implying to come and see me. If she's trying to get me back or something like that. She's doing a horrible job. she dumped me and now i look good, feel good and am having fun with my friends, trying to just move on with my life and she goes out to clubs and bars and all that ****. Were totally different now. She changed from this awesome girl that wasn't all about having to party everyday and now thats all she does. She's starting to miss me and I know she wants to keep in contact so that when she's all done getting this stupid crap out of the way she can come back to me. Well I'm not waiting, and just the simplest things like that bother me so bad. The whole mail thing. Why am I so bugged? i donno but I am. Anyone just tell me that i'm doing the right thing. I just don't want to talk to her. Does it seem like she's trying to stay in my life but not at the same time? I know the break up was the best because I'm soooo much happier. I do miss her and it's only been like a month, but she's totally different and I just don't know what her deal is. Oh and I should also say, she's probably the most stubborn person in the world. She listens to her mind and never her heart. She convinces herself of things. Never Letting her heart do the talking. Point being she won't say anything to me about getting back together, I'll just sort of have to figure it out. Which I'm not going to do. Like before we broke up she said "i try to tell myself Im happy, but I'm not." she said she did that for a long time. Now that she's out on her own meeting guys that only want sex and booty call. She's not probably thinking the same thing like 'I'm happy with out him, I know I am. am I?" thats just the kind of person she is Advice just tell me.
brightskies Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Hey Loomis, How old are you two? I looked at your other posts --- you were together 3 years. You had a good thing going, but things just faded on her end? So, you're ready to move on after the breakup. It sounds like don't want her back. Don't make it hard on yourself by allowing this sporadic contact to drag on and on. At this point, no contact is best --- it'll give you the time and space to clear your mind. Stop entertaining her. No need to be mean or rude, just do your own thing. Eventually she'll get the message. Stop worrying about what she's thinking or what she wants --- focus on what you need to do to move on and get over the break-up. By the way, to forward mail or do a change of address, she can do all that online --- she doesn't even need to go to the post office. It's so super easy, so her having you deliver her mail is pretty silly and a waste of your time.
Author loomis Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 Im 20 and she's 21. I know I totally am just trying to stay out of contact with her. I don't understand why she hasn't done anything about the mail sooner. Its a total waste of my time it bothers me, she knows that she could have gone and changed it but she won't because she want to keep in contact with me. I kind of wanted to keep in contact too, but now I don't and I just want her to leave me alone so I can continue to heal. I did text her today because I took her off my costco account and since she wasn't the primary her card won't work anymore. she goes a lot so I didn't want her to go and try to buy something and then get told that she can't buy it. That would be just another huge barrel or problems. She'd text me all pissed off I know it. So I just text her saying 'hey sorry but I took you off my costco account so your card won't work anymore' she didn't ever write back though. do I just assume she's mad? or that its no big deal? how would you react to that? I mean Its not like she deserves to be on there anymore.
brightskies Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Just leave it. You did the right thing and warned her. No need to pursue it. And stop wondering what she's thinking. You'll just make yourself crazy otherwise --- it's normal at this point, because the breakup was recent and you have a history together, but do your best to put it out of your mind. I used to do that a lot too, especially after a break-up, trying to get into my ex's head and expecting replies for every single thing I sent, or replying to every overture I got. Some people just don't consider every single missive worthy of an answer. Sometimes, they just don't want to answer. It doesn't matter why, because your relationship is over and what it comes down to is, you are moving on, my friend. Don't let her bother you.
Author loomis Posted June 10, 2008 Author Posted June 10, 2008 Thank you- You are very insightful I really appreciate your help. Its nice to be able to talk to people like you that kind of bring me down from my hyper, over analyzing personality right now. It's not how I usually am but breaking up with someone can change you a lot lol. Yeah if it were like say 2 weeks ago and she didn't reply I would probably be curled up in the shower crying. Now though I'm fine with it. I have a plan for my life that doesn't involve her and I'm soooo happy. Its nice to think about yourself. I know there is someone out there but I'm in no hurry to find her right now. She'll come and be so much better then my last gf Anyway thanks again and I'm sure Ill read more of your posts and vice versa.
brightskies Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 You're welcome, and no worries. I know what it's like to over analyze and worry and second-guess yourself when it comes to a relationship or the end of it. You're going through a rough period and sometimes it just helps to vent or have someone to talk with, even if it's over a board. Be strong ---- we're here for you.
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