Choad Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Hello folks... First I'll put things in context, I'm 38 and have as little as 3 moths ago chosen to return to a life of sobriety after a 3 year relapse and know I'm not the most emotionally healthy person in the world though not a total loopy loon. I'm gainfully employed and stable however. The woman I'm writng about is 42 and has a child of 3 a terminaly ill mother and two deceased children. Recently this beautiful woman and I got together and started dating after knowing each other (somewhat) for about 4 years. We work in different areas and really don't know each other all to much but have had a mutual attraction from day one. Well from the first time spent together outside work things went really well. She's very open, kind, sexy, independent and many other things I find attractive. Since that time we have spent a little more than 2 weeks staying at each others houses, meeting her friends, my fixing her plumbing (household)...When referring to her to a friend as a friend she asked why I did not call her my new girlfriend. While staying together we have not had sex but have slept together in the same bed once. I have a lot of respect for her desire not to jump right into sex. Anyway the day I did stay the night over there I got up in the morning finished my plumbing job, went to an AA meeting then that afternoon her and I went down the street to visit my mother. I had met hers.......Kind of quick I know.... Well that evening I took her daughter over to her sitters house as her mother was to have sergury the next day then I went home. We talked on the phone and she missed Monday and Tuesday at work over (supposedly) her mom who did not have the sergury after all. I didn't hear from her till tuesday eve and it was just a text. Wed at work she brought me an Energy drink (how sweet:D). No time to talk......No talk after work she had to be in early.......Thursday same kind of thing busy tired girl not much said bit of chit chat at work. Friday she was a no show at work and I have not heard a thing from her...... I'm worried for her, I don't know what to think, If she were dealing with sick kid or mom or? am I not a friend she could let know? I called and did not leave a message after work Fri. Text about 1 1/2hr later saying hope all is ok. Then I blew it and called AGAIN and this time left a message saying I'm concerned and hope everything is ok. Note: Sunday when I left for my meeting she suggested I grab an overnight bag and clothes for work for when I stay there again........I'm goin batty! I was hoping to see her this weekend. If she's too busy than at least hear from her......I've been single for so damn long and suck at dating....pretty damn sexual too have I blown it somehow when leaving work Thursday saying she was tired was the offer of the full body rub the last straw? It was in jest:p. Is she just too friggin busy? Testing me? Arrrrrgggg This chick is awesome......!!!! Is this a game? She's got a lot on her plate.....after time alone in her thoughts has chosen to reject me?
xpaperxcutx Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Okay stop calling and leaving messages. I'm sure the recent ones you've left are sufficent enough. I don't know whether she's too busy or not, but from her family background, she seems to have alot of things to worry about. The best thing you can do is give her space to sort out her own things. You can't help her with everything. You're already helping her with plumbing and taking care of her children. I think you need to distance yourself a bit from her for her to actually miss you. And try to use up some time for yourself, like focusing on your own health and job. You definitely do not want to end up a doormat.
GPFan Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Put yourself in her place. As she may be experiencing a crisis, offer to help in some manner. Offer to bring her a home cooked (or well made) meal, do the grocery shopping, the yard work, a bit of cleaning. Think of what someone experiencing a personal crisis may need. She may well be more grateful for any of these offers.
Balthazar Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Sometimes, I think these posts have been made up on purpose to get us going on a matter. Look, I understand you have problems of your own; you must be out of your mind for getting involved with such a woman. Relationships with people facing simple everyday problems are difficult enough. But here, you are facing a woman who has more emotional baggage than baggage reclaim at JFK. Best of luck Dude! You are going to need it. CHeers,
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