Tabatha Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Okay, So I was on the phone with him because he said last night to call him Today. I was very emotional, maybe it's just because I'm going through PMS or whatever. But, I feel as though I can't talk to him over the phone about certain issues, so I prefer to write it out in black and white. So I sent him this: It's not as complicated as you make it out to be. It CAN work and it has worked. I make mistakes, I'm not perfect. Yes, I have to learn not to beg you all the time to come pick me up and I have to learn not to make you feel guilty when you don't. Believe me, If I lived in a different household, I wouldn't feel the need to get out all the time. It's just you are my ESCAPE from this Hell. A Relationship is made up of Love, Trust, Communication, and Honesty. Okay: I Love You Alot! I Trust You to do the right thing We try to talk things out usually And we are both Honest with each other. It's simple. The only complicated thing is when you have outside elements trying to implode your relationship ie: My family. I think, If we didn't have my family involved, we would still be together. period. You have to understand they WORE me DOWN! To the point where I was crying all the time and emotional. So, then I would clam up and not want to discuss things with you because I felt if you knew how I really felt, you would be fed up and I would lose you. Which happened. So I guess my theory was right. Thats like Today. I want to be able to talk about what's on my mind and how I truly feel but you turn around a get angry at me and start cussing. Possibly, something you need to change? Since we all need to change, ya know. Speaking of change. You do change your ways to make a Relationship work. It's called Compromise. It's a two way street and you are trying to make two individuals happy. Yeah, like I said before, I do feel kinda unworthy to be your Girlfriend. That's how you make me feel. I don't know why you wouldn't want to be with someone who would stick by your side and support you in whatever you do in times like these? Don't you like to have somebody to be in love with, to share your dreams with, and make those dreams come true with? 99% of people who say they are happy being Single, they are Lying. It's not a Happy situation when you Grow Old ALONE. I'm sorry but if you can just see things my way, you would notice our whole situation is ridiculous. We broke up the first time because I left you at Brians to go get gas. I was Upset Okay!!! I moved back into my Moms (HELL)!!! You should remember those two weeks. Not very healthy emotionally. You may have not thought twice about it, but I was taking hits left and right. I was going through MORE than you will ever know. The Second time we Broke up well..You said it yourself. You were not used to having someone Worry about you and call you to check up on you to see if you were still ALIVE!! I'm sorry but I CARE alot for you and I care for your safety. I worry if you are safe (still do, actually). Call me a worry wart or just call me a very Good (ex)Girlfriend. If i didn't give a **** about you, you'd know it, but I guess thats what you want out of a woman, seems to me. WHEN PEOPLE WORRY ABOUT YOU THAT MEANS THEY REALLY LOVE YOU. The Blowing up your phone, making you angry like never before, and creating a fake myspace....that was all me. True. I've apologized for it a Million times already. Well, heres One Million and One: I'M SORRY!!! I was desperate though. Angry, Upset, hurt, and heartbroken. This Break-up has almost killed me in alot of ways. I couldn't take control of it the right way, so I did it the wrong way. I'm only human. I am a very sensitive person and I take things alot more personally and harder than anyone else, possibly. Please, just don't be close minded about this and see this from all angles. I've come along way in two months. I've progressed more than you can see. I just want you to realize that I am a good Woman, I am a Supportive Girlfriend (you should know this. I defended you to no end!), and I am everlasting Friend. xoxo Why do guys run away from things when they can easily be fixed?? That's what I'm wondering. We didn't even spend time to work it out IN the relationship. It's always After the Fact.
Nevermind Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 What do you want to achieve with the letter? You accuse him of a lot of things, but don't really take the blame for your actions - or at least this is what it sounds like. I get the feeling that it isn't him you want, you simply want out and be in a relationship again. If he reacts in a negative way, take the time and read his answer. This is not supportive, I know. But I wouldn't have liked to receive such a letter. However, I don't know your story (will check up on it now) so take my opinion with a grain of salt.
carrotgirl Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Tabatha, I kind of liked your letter. It was angry and proud and loving and apologetic but not too much. What you said about your family reminded me that we don't really know everything that is going on with our SOs even when we think we do. Did you really blow up his phone? How do you do that? Carrot
Author Tabatha Posted June 7, 2008 Author Posted June 7, 2008 I want to be with HIM. I feel the only way to do that is to be in a relationship with him. I do take blame for alot of things. I did leave him at his friends house without telling him I left. But I just needed to get away for 10 minutes and clear my head. That week I moved back in with my mom after a week of moving in with him and his parents. Cops were calling me a liar and saying my mom didn't hit me. It was me against everyone. I had to defend myself. He was there to support me but all I did was lay in bed and cry the whole time. He couldn't even get me to put my walls down and share how I felt. I just feel I got an Unfair Advantage. If it was under different circumstances we would still be together. I should of held it together more but I was holding alot of things in and taking punches for 4 and a half almost 5 months. Still am.
Nevermind Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Why did you move out and back with your mother? What good to you have to offer him? (Not teasing, but it shouldn't be just about you having problems and overcoming them.)
Author Tabatha Posted June 7, 2008 Author Posted June 7, 2008 Tabatha, I kind of liked your letter. It was angry and proud and loving and apologetic but not too much. What you said about your family reminded me that we don't really know everything that is going on with our SOs even when we think we do. Did you really blow up his phone? How do you do that? Carrot :DBlow up, means call like 50xtimes till he answers! I haven't done that in a longtime. Recently though, I slipped up and I did it last week because he told me that he'd be home around 4 am and said I could call him then. I waited up 4 hours, and he never answered. I was tired and angry (not a very good mix lol). Found out he was really drunk and passed out when he arrived home. Didn't even noticed I called for an hour and a half straight. Him Passing out never came to mind but I just thought since "hey you logged on Myspace you should be up in the next 5 minutes to answer my call!" NOPE. Slept like a Rock, he did. I apologized, he wasn't upset.
Author Tabatha Posted June 7, 2008 Author Posted June 7, 2008 Why did you move out and back with your mother? What good to you have to offer him? (Not teasing, but it shouldn't be just about you having problems and overcoming them.) Her and I got in a HUGE fight that got Physical. I never touched her, she hit me in the arms with her fists, which she admitted to the cops. Then the part they thought I made up was the scratch above my eyebrow. So I got called a liar and they were saying he probably did it or I did it myself. Please!! It wasn't there when I walked through the door that night, It was there when I walked out. So I moved out and stayed at my exes for a week. I knew I couldn't stay there forever and the only other option was to move back in with Mom. In doing so, I had a heart to heart with mom and apologized to her trying to make everything right between us. She let me move back in. Have things changed between us? Not one bit. What I have to offer him? Um, I am a very good girl, like I said. I did defend him and still do against my family. I see the person who no one else, especially my family can't see. I support him, I stand by him, and I defend him. I love and care for him so much. We are kinda opposites. He is a free spirit Gemini and I am a driven Capricorn. What we have we can give each other, in what we lack.
carrotgirl Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 :DBlow up, means call like 50xtimes till he answers! Thanks for explaining. {{Hugs}}} Nobody deserves to get hit. Do you have anywhere to stay besides mom's? Nevermind has a sharp mind! Picked up on that right away and I tend to agree. What are your options Tabatha? Carrot
Nevermind Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I am sorry to hear the story with your mom. Right now your family is affecting the relationship, for both of you this very stress-and hurtful. You're defending him, and this is great, but without you he wouldn't need to be defended. I am not saying this to hurt you, but I find it helps to view things from a neutral point. Being in love under such circumstances is extremely hard and very, very difficult. For yourself and for your relationship it would be best to move out. Can you surely not stay with him for a while longer? Find a room in a shared apartment?
Author Tabatha Posted June 7, 2008 Author Posted June 7, 2008 The fight was back in March. I've been with Mom ever since. I don't really have any options where I can get out quickly. My cousin wants me to move out to Montana and rent a place with her but that's 2,000 miles away and I have to save alot of money for a plane ticket and to be able to have my own money to support myself. I wouldn't want to go out there broke and her buy me everything until I find a job out there. I want and was thinking to find a room mate around here. It's just I rely on my mom for transportation because I had to give my car back in March because I lost my job in February. So now, I have a job but have an unreliable person to take me. That's why I'm fixing to seek a job closer. Not 45 minutes away. Esp w/ gas the way it is:rolleyes: So yeah, I don't trust Cops anymore. When your whole Family turns against you because they don't like your boyfriend, it turns around on you and comes back to bite you in the ass, when you try to get Justice Served.
ioncebelieved Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I am feeling your pain in the ATL!!! I am a Gemini as well, I didn't really know we had free spirits though. I would love to move to Montana, from Georgia. BTW, it's quite humid here today.
Author Tabatha Posted June 7, 2008 Author Posted June 7, 2008 From what I've read about Gems, y'all don't like to be held down So Free Spirit, likes variety, and Intelligent conversations with others. I'm just the opposite. I driven and have my eye on the prize at all times. We goats like structure, while the Twins are care free. I've been to Montana a few times. My Grandparents and Cousins live out there. They don't call it Big Sky Country for nothing! It's breath Taking! I still have alot to think about though. I do love Georgia. And there are lots of things to do out here. Plus, the only person I'll badly miss is my ex. It's going to be rough if I actually leave.
Author Tabatha Posted June 8, 2008 Author Posted June 8, 2008 He read it. And I tried to talk to him on the phone about it and he just really got pissed off. I don't know why he makes himself so angry to the point where he tells me,"I'm going to let you go now, before I get reallyangry with you and start cussing you out." :(Then he hangs up. He said he is not getting back together and the only way he says he can get the point across is being blunt and mean. I got the point he's trying to make. I just have to learn to accept it. What a way to turn into the bad guy, when your ex girl just wanted to have a decent conversation with you and you have to act like an *******!!!Good, I got your point!!! You don't want to date me ever again!!! Fine. But I look at it as YOUR LOSS!!!
Author Tabatha Posted June 8, 2008 Author Posted June 8, 2008 I just got done talking to him again!He tells me I won't let him break-up with me. "The words have been said, but we haven't gone our seperate ways" WTF have I been going through the past 2 months then??? Vacation??What the hell does he mean???I thought we were Done!
Nevermind Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Tabatha: Ouch. But read your letter again - it doesn't say "decent conversation" it says "here is why you need to take me back". (Just being blunt, not mean.) You were not done - you met all the time, you were together, you had sex, you never really broke it off. He never really had the chance to miss you. Leave him alone, focus on yourself - on moving out, finding another job etc. If he really loved you, he will come back when he starts missing you. If not, is his loss. (((hugs))) I am sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted.
Author Tabatha Posted June 8, 2008 Author Posted June 8, 2008 Yeah, that is true. I want to go NC but his Birthday is Tuesday. Maybe i should go NC for a week after that. We'll see. I went 3 days NC once, then it ended up NCF, and then me calling him. I called him before I went to bed last night. Told him I was Sorry, that I'll be home around 8pm tonight (from the job i currently have), and Good Night. He was real nice. Told me Good Night and that I can call him when I get home tonight.
borelandkaren Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Yeah, that is true. I want to go NC but his Birthday is Tuesday. Maybe i should go NC for a week after that. We'll see. I went 3 days NC once, then it ended up NCF, and then me calling him. I called him before I went to bed last night. Told him I was Sorry, that I'll be home around 8pm tonight (from the job i currently have), and Good Night. He was real nice. Told me Good Night and that I can call him when I get home tonight. WT??? Are you guys 2gether or apart?
Author Tabatha Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 We aren't BF and GF. We are friends. It's just we hang out alot. He doesn't want to get back together.
Author Tabatha Posted June 10, 2008 Author Posted June 10, 2008 Everything was great today. He picked me up and I cashed my paycheck. Lost him in Walmart:o lol. We went back to his house and hung out pratically all day. Went upstairs to his room and laid down with him. I could've fallen asleep in his arms, but him being a guy ruined the moment and starts messing with me (not in that way). He has an obsession with slapping my butt, and giving me wet willies. haha. We were poking, tickling, and holding each other the whole time. First time I've seen him in 4 days. We just have our bad days. They are few. Our Good days are what I remember and love the most. We have alot of them. Now, he's telling me (last night as a matter of fact) to really think before making a decision to go to Montana. When before it was, "Oh that would be good for you." His B'day is tomorrow. I Gave him his card today. He thanked me twice and gave me a kiss.
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