borelandkaren Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 I also miss the comfort that you have with a long time partner that leads to more sexual freedom and experimentation. Trust is a big factor. One thing I regret is not being more adventurous with my recent ex. She had some sexual issues brought from a rough past and she never really opened up to me sexually so I respected her wishes and kept things pretty vanilla, and sadly, infrequent. Oddly enough she ended up cheating on me with the guy next door and then left me for a different man whom she has sex with multiple times a day. (So glad I know this ) I guess she got over her issues.... She's not necessarily having multiple sexual encounters daily through a lot of choice. I didn't. In the beginning of the relationship, good fun. At the end, 5 1/2 years later, not fun. My ex was and is a sex addict. There's feel-good and feel-good. And sometimes it doesn't "feel-good".
carhill Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 I miss meaningful sex. Never been a casual sex kind of person. I kind of envy those who are and can derive satisfaction from such encounters. Oh, well, we all have different paths.
demonspawn Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 I feel the same way as u guys do. Its been about 2 and a half months since she left...I think about the sex I had with her and It just makes me sad...is that still normal after that length of time? I thought i would be completely over it but not yet. Ive been seeing a few girls since she left but they want a relationship and I just dont think im ready for one yet. Whats also funny is before I met this girl who I was with for 7 months...I was havin sex with a new girl every few weeks...now they are all gone or have a bf...I feel like im never gonna get it again..ugh!
kizik Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Breakthrough! Masturbated last night without thinking of her. All RIGHT!
sumdude Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 kizik, while I'm not a man, it's def. not guilt. I never ever do anything that I know I'll feel guilty doing afterwards. Guilt is a useless emotion, IMO. It's the emptiness where when you feel a real connection, there's a warmth and intimacy at the end of all the desire and passion. I so miss this. So true.. the few sexual encounters I've had since my divorce have been that way pretty much. At least I've been fortunate enough to have felt it for a while in my life. There are lots of people who live a lifetime never having had that kind of connection.
Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 So true.. the few sexual encounters I've had since my divorce have been that way pretty much. At least I've been fortunate enough to have felt it for a while in my life. There are lots of people who live a lifetime never having had that kind of connection. How can this be possible, not to feel an intense connection with someone you love? Are people so uncomfortable with real intimacy? To let someone in that far? I need that connection or there's no relationship.
Nemo Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Are people so uncomfortable with real intimacy? To let someone in that far? Well, banging against the cervix can be quite uncomfortable, in some circumstances. Most great relationships are a dexterous balance between give and take. When things are just right, it feels like all your nerve endings are having one big party.
Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Well, banging against the cervix can be quite uncomfortable, in some circumstances. Most great relationships are a dexterous balance between give and take. When things are just right, it feels like all your nerve endings are having one big party. Once you relax, it will all come naturally. Relations, relationships, for some, same difference, for others, compartmentalized events, one to satisfy the itch, the other something curious to watch from a distance.
justaman99 Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Personally I can't just go out and have sex with some girl. I have had plenty of opportunities today and throughout my life but my d*** mind and heart are always wired to one person. I can't just go and sleep with someone. I need the mental attachment, the connection, the deep emotion, caring and love. Without that I just can't do it. I've tried and it's just awkward and fake to me. I know I sound like a douche but it's just the way i am. So until I am completely free from my ex, heart mind and soul and the damn dreams, I just don't get any. Oh well. It doesn't bother me surprisingly.
Nemo Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Personally I can't just go out and have sex with some girl. You have a unique, rare talent. Cherish it, and don't let it go to waste. Many others can take inspiration from your example.
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