MsCrazy Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Being in a long term R you have sex whenever you want. Now the lack of sex is driving me crazy! I am not the type of girl to go to a bar and have a one night stand so that's out of the question. Right now I feel like I am never going to have sex again! What do you do when having to deal with that urge? I could masturbate which I do, but its not even close to the real thing! That is what I miss most from my ex. Advice?!?!?
flosslight Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Not the same either. I know what you mean because it is driving me crazy as well. I'm also not the type to do a one night stand. At this point, I'm trying to date and find someone who is somewhat interesting so they can take care of the problem.
kizik Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Not to sound insensitive, but it's hard to sympathize for women in this department. A woman can get laid anytime she wants; guys are a dime a dozen. Go out to a bar, flirt, and let some lucky SOB take you home!
Tabatha Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Well, I should be able to relate to this IF I was doing the correct thing and not sleeping with my ex, but of course I'm doing the WRONG lol. But I bought myself a Toy. It....kinda Helps. Not the same as the real thing. I mean I PREFER the real thing haha. But, when I can't get any...it will do. And I am not for One night stands either. Too many STI's and STD's out there. So my advice: Masterbate, Masterbate, Use Toy.....
Author MsCrazy Posted June 7, 2008 Author Posted June 7, 2008 Kizik I know you are right. I am an attractive girl and I know I can get laid whenever I want but I do not want to go out there and pick up some random guy from a bar. Too worried about STDs and I am also shy. Is it normal after a break up to feel like you will never have sex again? Because believe me I KNOW it sounds stupid but that's how I feel. LOL I am so pathetic! I met all of my exes in HS and college, and now that I'm graduated where am I supposed to meet someone BESIDES the bar?!?!? Please stop me from calling the ex for a booty call.
Lippy2 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Well for me it's been 2.5 months and at first I didn't even think about it. Now I think about it and him all the time. I too am not the kinda person to go to a bar. I don't want just anyone, it's not the same... So, masturbate. The only bad thing with me is that I think of him and that makes me want to cry afterwards.
kizik Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Yeah I have the same worries about STDs, but it's moot, b/c it seems like it'll be a LOONG time till I get laid again. I think about f*cking my ex, and while it was great, she was not all that adventurous in bed. One thing I can say is that we always came together, which I hear is unusual... it got to the point that if we DIDN'T have simultaneous orgasms it was like, what went wrong? Anyway, a deficit of sex is incredibly depressing, but especially for guys. I too feel as if I'll never f*ck again!
Lippy2 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Yeah I have the same worries about STDs, but it's moot, b/c it seems like it'll be a LOONG time till I get laid again. I think about f*cking my ex, and while it was great, she was not all that adventurous in bed. One thing I can say is that we always came together, which I hear is unusual... it got to the point that if we DIDN'T have simultaneous orgasms it was like, what went wrong? Anyway, a deficit of sex is incredibly depressing, but especially for guys. I too feel as if I'll never f*ck again! Kizik Why do you think it's more depressing for guys? I think it's depressing period, guy or girl.
Author MsCrazy Posted June 7, 2008 Author Posted June 7, 2008 Oh I agree! For both male and female it is all the same and depressing. I am a pretty sexual person, always have been and the thought of going without it saddens me more than anything. Sex to me is one of the best feelings in the world. I don't even want to think about how long I'm going to go without it.
madgun68 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Being in a long term R you have sex whenever you want. Now the lack of sex is driving me crazy! I am not the type of girl to go to a bar and have a one night stand so that's out of the question. Right now I feel like I am never going to have sex again! What do you do when having to deal with that urge? I could masturbate which I do, but its not even close to the real thing! That is what I miss most from my ex. Advice?!?!?Yes.. Grab a pen and paper, then write down this address. Joking aside, I don't have any advice to offer.. I really miss the companionship just as much as the physical.. not to mention having a meaningful conversation with someone again.
Author MsCrazy Posted June 7, 2008 Author Posted June 7, 2008 madgun68 OK I AM ON MY WAY! I agree I miss it all. Well I fell out of love with my ex so I felt the companionship was not there anyways. The last month we were together we had sex only 2 times I believe, I just didn't feel it anymore. But now the thought of no sex makes me so depressed.
motive2002 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Count me crazy. I was introduced to probably the best sex I'd ever had. Now it's gone. Everything else seems like it would be mediocre by comparison. I doubt a one night stand would be sufficient, or even worth the trouble. One of the things about the ex that will be extremely hard to replace.
taylor3205 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I miss the sex also. Was best sex ive ever had too. Had the opportunity on a few occasions since I split with the ex, I want too, yet I cant do it! If the ex walked in here, Id have no problems though. Guess thats just the way it is for now, Ive stopped thinking long term. Im just taking life as it comes or I would literally go crazy.
v33 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I too realized that a big part of what I missed with my ex was the (supposedly) regular sex you get in a relationship. Even though our sex life really died down a long time ago we were there for each other if one of us really felt the need. (sounds really awful when I write it like that....) I recently met a girl and we have incredible chemistry and there is a lot of innuendo and flirting. We haven't slept together yet but I can well imagine it is going to be far better than it was with my ex when we do decide to take that step. In the meantime I have found that when I am missing my ex I just take care of business on my own and I feel fine afterwards. I don't realize it's about the sex at the time, but the release goes to show me that the intimacy is all I was missing. Nice to know that's the last attachment I have for her. One night stands aren't for everyone. I had the option with some girls I knew and held off. Ended up sleeping with one of them eventually even though I wasn't into her. It was horrible... not her fault, but I knew it was for the wrong reasons. I used to love random sex when I was younger but now I want something more. It's always best when there is a real connection.
HeartOnSleeve Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I am all over this post!!! it's horrible...I have a wonderful guy friend of 7 years who wants to toss around the idea of being friends with benefits or just start dating. We kissed once and of course who was I thinking about MY EX. My friend is attractive, smart and so sweet, but moving onto to someone new is not easy, even when I want to get "some".
e.clipse Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 yes, this is hard. especially when you're not someone who's into the ONS type of thing or random sex. me, well, i try my hardest not to think about it and stuff. there have been a couple of times that i've gone a couple of months without having sex, and yes, it is depressing. so, when i can bear it any longer, i call my exbf. i don't think he's ever declined. sigh. this, however, is not the recommended method of release.
kizik Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 2 months? That aint sh*t. Plus you got a f*ck buddy ex BF... oh, to be a chick.
Trialbyfire Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I sometimes think I need to learn how to compartmentalize, like others can. Then I think about doing it and say "Nah". This thread does remind me of what an amazing lover my ex-H was. I do miss the physicality but not at the price tag it comes with.
v33 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I do miss the physicality but not at the price tag it comes with. I can relate to this.
Trialbyfire Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 It's always best when there is a real connection. I can also relate to this comment in your post. Why settle for less? So what if you scratch the itch. When it's over and done with, you feel more empty inside.
replicator Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 It might be odd, but even as a man, I can't have sex with someone I don't have strong emotions for. I've tried, but I can't go through with it.
kizik Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 It's not that you can't, it's that you know it'll make you feel empty and maybe guilty. There's this stereotype you're addressing here, which is that guys will f*ck anything that moves and not think twice about it. This might be true for as*holes, but meanwhile, the *good* guys are going years without poontang because they have standards and self-respect.
Trialbyfire Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 kizik, while I'm not a man, it's def. not guilt. I never ever do anything that I know I'll feel guilty doing afterwards. Guilt is a useless emotion, IMO. It's the emptiness where when you feel a real connection, there's a warmth and intimacy at the end of all the desire and passion. I so miss this.
v33 Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 I also miss the comfort that you have with a long time partner that leads to more sexual freedom and experimentation. Trust is a big factor. One thing I regret is not being more adventurous with my recent ex. She had some sexual issues brought from a rough past and she never really opened up to me sexually so I respected her wishes and kept things pretty vanilla, and sadly, infrequent. Oddly enough she ended up cheating on me with the guy next door and then left me for a different man whom she has sex with multiple times a day. (So glad I know this ) I guess she got over her issues....
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