george1122 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 ok, i have liked a girl for past 8 months. Her personality: She is a bit shy, avoids confortations and has a hard time saying no to anyone. When I first met her (8 months ago), on the third meeting, i ask her out for some coffee, she said he had a boyfriend. I have been friends with her since, not making any advancements and not hitting on her at all. Three weeks ago, I asked her if she wanted to go for a movie, she said yes, we went, had a great time, she asked me if I was dating, I said no, I asked her, said said no, she said, "I went on a date last friday, it was terrible, this is much better". It rang my bell. I thought this is a date. I did no attempt to kiss her at the end though, given the history. I called her 2 days later (3 weeks ago), asked her out again, she said lets go for lunch. Went on lunch (8 days ago), had a good time, I opened doors for her as I thought we were dating. At the end, we were involved in a converstaion and I told her that I like her. Gave her a call the next day(7 days ago), she did not answer and did not return my call. Called her 4 days later (last wednesday), she picked up. I asked her if she would like to go out this saturday, she said she needs to see whats going on saturday and will let me know tomorrow (thursday). She did not call me on thursday at all. She emailed me on friday and said, "something came up on saturday and I won't be able to go". I am not planning on contacting her because I don't want to be pushy and don't want to make her feel uncomfortable (which I already might have). Questions: 1. Did she go out with me first two times just as friends or as a date? 2. Is she telling me she is not interested? 3. If she is not interested, why did she take so long to tell me she won't be able to go? If I am not interested, I would tell the other peson right then that I am busy. What was she thinking about?
refurb Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Someone else posted a great truth: "Look at how the person behaves, not what they say." If I were you, I'd wait for her to make the next move. You asked her out, she said she couldn't. If she is really interested in you, she'll make a move. If she isn't, she won't. NN
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 ok, i have liked a girl for past 8 months. Her personality: She is a bit shy, avoids confortations and has a hard time saying no to anyone. When I first met her (8 months ago), on the third meeting, i ask her out for some coffee, she said he had a boyfriend. I have been friends with her since, not making any advancements and not hitting on her at all. Three weeks ago, I asked her if she wanted to go for a movie, she said yes, we went, had a great time, she asked me if I was dating, I said no, I asked her, said said no, she said, "I went on a date last friday, it was terrible, this is much better". It rang my bell. I thought this is a date. I did no attempt to kiss her at the end though, given the history. I called her 2 days later (3 weeks ago), asked her out again, she said lets go for lunch. Went on lunch (8 days ago), had a good time, I opened doors for her as I thought we were dating. At the end, we were involved in a converstaion and I told her that I like her. Gave her a call the next day(7 days ago), she did not answer and did not return my call. Called her 4 days later (last wednesday), she picked up. I asked her if she would like to go out this saturday, she said she needs to see whats going on saturday and will let me know tomorrow (thursday). She did not call me on thursday at all. She emailed me on friday and said, "something came up on saturday and I won't be able to go". I am not planning on contacting her because I don't want to be pushy and don't want to make her feel uncomfortable (which I already might have). Questions: 1. Did she go out with me first two times just as friends or as a date? 2. Is she telling me she is not interested? 3. If she is not interested, why did she take so long to tell me she won't be able to go? If I am not interested, I would tell the other peson right then that I am busy. What was she thinking about? 1. She might not have been sure herself what she wanted. 2. She is no longer interested, if she ever was. 3. She avoids confrontation, as you stated previously. She didn't want to go but she hates telling people no. Drop this fish from your line and go find another one! Good luck.
Suiyobi Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Giving this girl the benefit of the doubt, I would go with Cherry Blossom's #1 guess.
Krytie TV Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 I am not planning on contacting her because I don't want to be pushy and don't want to make her feel uncomfortable (which I already might have). You have the right idea, but IMO, it should be for different reasons. You should not contact her because she is waffling and will likely become a waste of your time if you try. Calling again wouldn't necessarily be pushy, but it would likely be an exercise in futility and you have better things to do with your time.
Author george1122 Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 You have the right idea, but IMO, it should be for different reasons. You should not contact her because she is waffling and will likely become a waste of your time if you try. Calling again wouldn't necessarily be pushy, but it would likely be an exercise in futility and you have better things to do with your time. You are right.
Author george1122 Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 Thanks all you guys for your input. Do you think I should ask her to be friends? I would like to be her friend atleast, she is a nice girl and I did enjoy spending time with her. However, I am not sure if I should ask her to be friends or more importantly if yes, how to ask her? We haven't discussed anything regarding where we stand.
eric82 Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 do you ask other people you see only in a platonic way to be friends? no, because friendship either just happens or it doesn't, it's not something you ask for. asking her for friendship after you've admitted you'd prefer more just seems like a veiled attempt to keep her close in your life so you can try to convince her to like you as more than a friend. don't be that guy, the world already has more than enough.
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