Author Phoenix11 Posted June 8, 2008 Author Posted June 8, 2008 Phoenix - after all the good advice you received on this guy and this relationship months ago, I am rather surprised you are still trying to forge this. Doesn't seem like a thing has changed... I know I know...I'm just used to getting what I want....but I don't know why I want this so much when all the signs indicate I should run and should have ran fast and hard since the day he stood me up.
2sunny Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 soooooo, i'm wondering what has transpired in the past few days. did he call since you called? i'm not even sure you left a message for him - you said you got his machine... but not if you left a message. since you don't want to seem to do a check on him why don't you just come out and ask him why he is so unavailable and see what he says? it appears that you don't WANT to know the truth about him. perfect OW from the MM point of view...
Author Phoenix11 Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 soooooo, i'm wondering what has transpired in the past few days. did he call since you called? i'm not even sure you left a message for him - you said you got his machine... but not if you left a message. since you don't want to seem to do a check on him why don't you just come out and ask him why he is so unavailable and see what he says? it appears that you don't WANT to know the truth about him. perfect OW from the MM point of view... I left a message on Saturday. Trying to get a confirmation on a concert we are suppose to go to later in the month. Have not heard from him. He's probably out of town...went home for the weekend to see his mother and childhood friends again. This is typical for him. His explaination is always the same. Focus on work. He goes above and beyond to make a name for himself in is profession, which does not leave much social time. I told a girlfriend of mine about the note he left on my windshield after lunch last week and she thought it was sweet and caring. I didn't see it that way. BTW...I did a short background search on him after I read your post. The only relatives associated with his name are his mother and siblings. No spouse. Back to the drawing board as to what to make of his odd behavior.
2sunny Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 BTW...I did a short background search on him after I read your post. The only relatives associated with his name are his mother and siblings. No spouse. Back to the drawing board as to what to make of his odd behavior. did it show the property he owns or who he owns it with? or if he even owns the house that you visit as he may be renting... all addresses so that you can see if it matches what you have heard from him? it seems a bit odd that he doesn't have a cell phone or a decent way to reach him. have you called him at work? met his business associates? met his friends that he spends so much time with? or even been invited to visit with him when he goes to see his mom/friends? something's still not adding up!
Author Phoenix11 Posted June 10, 2008 Author Posted June 10, 2008 did it show the property he owns or who he owns it with? or if he even owns the house that you visit as he may be renting... all addresses so that you can see if it matches what you have heard from him? it seems a bit odd that he doesn't have a cell phone or a decent way to reach him. have you called him at work? met his business associates? met his friends that he spends so much time with? or even been invited to visit with him when he goes to see his mom/friends? something's still not adding up! I agree...something is just not adding up. I can't put my finger on it. Which leads me to believe it's something about me. Anyway...he does rent his townhouse. He has spent some time in various states at colleges and universities pursuing his degrees. Everything on the the background search, matches as best I can tell with what he has told me. I can call him at work, and have...but I don't make it a habit. I have not met any of his friends nor do I know their names. On the flip side, I have not introduce him to any of my friends either, however he has heard me refer to them by name in conversation. I am holding off the introductions until my comfort level is better with him. Once during a chat, I made a comment that his phone must ring off the hook with all of his childhood friends trying to reach him. He reply..."no...there is no one trying to reach me...there is only you" Again another "creepy" moment. He appears to have a full life when we are not together, but I don't know what he does outside of work. I'm sure there must be some clinical personality disorder that can explain his disposition, but I don't know what it is, but I sure would like to know what the heck I'm dealing with. It's just baffling to have mixed feelings for someone you just don't understand.
shockandawed Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 You know Phoenix, I think it very well could be an obsession you have now on knowing why he behaves as he does. I have been in similar places. The need to understand supercedes the logic of just moving along. As everyone has pointed out, he has been a twisted little booger since you met him...and you have been pretty put out and dissatisfied since then as well. I am certain you realize his behavior won't change. The only question is how long you will put up with it? Other than the great sex, what else is there between you? He doesn't communicate, share or let you into his world other than when he wants to shag. Don't you think after 6 months, you should be clear on a relationship and not having to second guess his actions? You really deserve much better.
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