beautyiseverywhere Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I've never spoken to her in person, I wanted to but I find social situations very hard, and never took my chances. Anyway, someone gave her my messaging address and we had a talk, which went ok. I feel like it might be awkward talking to her in person, shes always with her friends so I was thinking of asking her if she'd like to meet for lunch or something to talk in person, i'm pretty sure she would say yes. Do you guys have any good conversation tips for someone who has no skills with this kind of thing, what to talk about etc? How to deal with an awkward silence? Thanks.
king_midas Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Just bite the bullet. I don't like how so many people hide behind instant messaging these days. It's not the same as talking to someone. Maybe that's part of the problem... Get her phone number and call her. That should make it easier for you to get used to talking to her in person, whether her friends are around or not. And if you're sure she'd say yes, ask her already! Ask her even if you're not sure. Most people will be ok with at least one preliminary coffee date, and if they say no, well who cares? At least you tried? There might be awkward silences, but if you two really like each other, things should take care of themselves despite nervousness. It's ok to have pauses in conversation. Maybe nod and act like you're thinking about something. Talk about whatever, music, the weather, how much you like kittens or Dr.Pepper or whatever, news or goings-ons, talk about yourself (but not too much) and ask her questions about herself. It only seems hard because you're thinking it will be! Good luck.
Nightsky Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 First dates usually have a few moments of awkward silence which is a great time for that all important first kiss. Of course she is always with her friends or in the middle of doing something when you see her in person, its unrealistic to expect alone time with her unless you create it. Just walk up to her, separate her from her friends by saying there is something you want to tell her, and then ask her out. If you don’t have much social experience with girls it may be awkward but it won’t be the end of the world. Once things get more physically people usually spend their dates doing things that are supposed to be cute like cuddling or making out. Just go with the flow and you may be at that making out point sooner then you think.
Suiyobi Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Try to build up some confidence, even if it means roleplaying the scene in your head or acting it out (but be sure you're alone or people will think you're weird, hehe). Thing is, if you don't have enough emotional preparation then you may end up slurring and stuttering or even having a nervous breakdown when you talk to her. Some girls might find this cute, but most will think you are in need of urgent help. I guess the biggest obstacle if anything is trying to get her alone with you because, as you said, she's always hanging around with her friends. Think of a reason to speak to her, approach her, and kindly ask if you can "steal" her away from her friends for a moment. If that works, then proceed onto having a conversation. If you're not sure what to talk about, it kind of helps to listen in a little when she's talking with her friends. If you're in luck, they might be discussing a topic that you can relate to, like a music band or a TV show. And just go from there. Definitely take into account the advice mentioned by the posters above me, hehe. But remember: confidence, man. I'm a shy guy like you so I know how you feel...
Author beautyiseverywhere Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 Making out stage reached. Thanks guys. What a confidence boost.
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