shanny Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 So I've posted on here many times before about my boyfriend who treated me like crap (cheated on me with his exwife, lied to me contantly and used me for money). Well eventually I busted him and tried to end it. I was so crazy in love with this guy... it was like I was addicted to him. My happiness depended on him. So after this all happened I met someone else. I like this guy a lot and we have fun together, but my feelings for him are not even close to what they are for my ex. Meanwhile, my ex has finally filed for divorce from his ex and has cut all contact with her, swearing that he messed up and will be totally faithful to me from here on out. Call me stupid, but I believe him this time. But now I have gotten involved with this other guy. I have basically been seeing them both. Wrong I know, but I do not have a commitment to either at this point. However dating two guys is stressing me out to say the least. Although I have no commitments to either one I feel insanely guilty. On on hand... my ex. I loved this man with all of my heart but he hurt me like crazy. I always could see myself marrying him. He is just incredibly special to me. Now... the other guy. He treats me like a princess and has showed me that there are decent guys out there. But the spark there is not nearly as strong as with my ex. I need to chose one very soon. Do I go with the guy who treats me well or go back to my ex on a promise, but knowing full well that he is the person I want to spend my life with. And a bigger problem I have is that I hate hurting people. If I dump the new guy, I will feel HORRIBLE, especially because I pretty much have to see him everyday for work. If I dump my ex, I'll feel like I gave away the best thing that has ever happened to me. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you!
Carmen87 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I wouldn't choose either one of them. Your ex broke the trust in your relationship. You said yourself he was like an addiction, and addictions are not healthy. You cannot have something like that in your life. With the nice guy, if you feel nothing with him then it isn't right to date him simply because he is nice to you. I suggest you take some time for yourself for awhile.
dreamergrl Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I agree with the above post, but am wondering if you aren't allowing yourself to feel anything with the new guy because of your feelings with your ex.
Trialbyfire Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 My happiness depended on him. Here's the kicker. Never, ever rely on anyone for your happiness. Until you get past your ex, you won't be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone else. The only way to get past your ex is to let him go. You believe him because you want to believe him. He's a total jerk, a liar and a cheater.
shadowplay Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I disagree that you may not feel more for this guy because you're not over your ex. In my experience, when the right person comes around it trumps old feelings for someone else (but be prepared to kiss a lot of frogs). There simply isn't enough of a spark with this other guy. I would dump both.
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