broncos23 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 So basically I'll just summarize what happened between my ex girlfriend and me. We were together for about a year and 6 months when she broke up with me. However, we were already fighting for like 2 months straight. The fights would be over stupid stuff but we just fought every single day. Eventually she said she couldn't take it anymore and I didn't blame her for it. We still "talked" and pretty much acted like we were going out, even went to prom together, but just without the title of boyfriend/girlfriend. It was our Jr. prom and she had been asked to go to Sr. prom with this other kid. She said yes, though I previously told her I wouldn't think it would be such a good idea. She went to prom weekend with her friends and this and that. When she came back I knew she was different. I knew something was going on with a kid, who called himself my friend. I confronted her about it and she denied anything was going on several times. Later thought she did admit that she had a crush on him. Ever since that, which was like 1 month ago she has been hanging out with him and her new friends. It seems like she left all her friends behind just to be with the upper class men. I went over one day I guess for closure and she just started crying her eyes out, telling me how she still loves me and she still hasn't move on. However she was like I can't be with you right now. I asked her about the kid and she said she wanted nothing from him and that she wasn't looking for a relationship from anyone. She told me she was trying to figure stuff out. At school I see her laughing and smiling, which is fine don't get me wrong it's not like I want her stuck in a room crying her eyes out. I just don't understand after the year and a half and plus the months before we were friends how she could just move on so quickly with this new kid. My friends tell me that they hang out pretty much every single day. I've made some mistakes by trying to talk to her but I also been looking at the other forums and they basically say to stay away and I have been doing that. At school I don't walk to her classes anymore and I see her a couple of times in the halls but I never look at her. A couple of days ago she tells me that I need to go get help because I got angry at some kid who was talking ***** about how I got no game and the other kid does, basically b.s. She was like "You shouldn't get this way and that I need to talk to someone." I told her i just use everything for motivation, just the type of person I am. Football season is around the corner and theres nothing better than those Friday night lights for me. I told her that I'm glad she cares but I handle things different and I wish her good luck on her cheerleading tryouts, and then walk away. I'm figuring since there is not much of the school year left I can try to minimize contact and once the summer comes around it will be a lot easier because I know she will be hanging out with different people than I do. I just don't understand how one side she still cares, I mean her room is still the same with all the pictures of us up and everything just in place, but yet she still likes this kid and doing **** with him. Should I keep ignoring her, even though I feel like it's only going to pull us farther? Plus that kid is going to be a freshman at college. I don't think he would want to be tied down for his first year. I just really don't know what to do. I still love her of course and it's not like I don't go out and have fun because I do. I meet new girls and talk to them which is nice but I just don't see anything in them. Plus I just don't do stuff with them just to get her jealous because that's not me. I guess I still respect her. I don't get how she just pushes me off to the side after everything we've been through to be with some other kid who I'm pretty sure just wants one thing. I just have this feeling that if I don't talk to her it will only make it worse and be so far apart that there will never be a second chance. But I also feel like after everything she has done even if she does come back there can't be a second a chance. I feel like I'm stuck in the middle. Like I'm still stuck in the past and she's moved on. I don't know if I made my questions clear anything but anything at this point would really help me see things more clearly. Thanks.
stlnsmile Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Well you and I are the same age. My ex boyfriend did the same to me. We were together about the same amount of time that you and your girlfriend were (in high school too) and I hate when people say to me, you are young, your supposed to break up with people in high school. Because love is love, and feelings are feelings no matter what age you are. Maybe it is supposed to happen, maybe its not..IDK, I just know my life was turned upside down when he left and my heart was broken. Okay so back to you, I think in high school some people are raised to seriously only think of them selves. In high school I think people just tend to be really selfish. And because of that, they never really give themselves 100% to the other person, because they are really thinking about themselves, and what they want. I guess if you are going to be selfish in life, high school is the time to do it. I don't believe in things like that, I am the type of person that I don't want to hurt someone else that I care about and I always take them into consideration. I get very serious about someone. I honestly don't think my ex ever loved me, now that I look back. I just don't think he was ever really in the relationship. I think your ex is the same. I think she is young and wants to go and do all this stuff, and she feels a relationship with you will hold her back from doing all this stuff she wants to do. Its not fair, and its not right, but some people are really immature at 17-18 yrs. old. I don't think she's just forgotten about you, I am sure she thinks of you, and what you had, but that does not mean that she still doesn't want to be free to do her own thing. It is not right, and they never tell you thats what they want, and even when they do tell you thats what they want, they don't do it in a way that makes a lot of sense. I think right now the best thing is, no matter how much you love her, is to let her go. How would she feel about you if she wanted all of these things and freedoms and you were the only thing holding her back from those things. She obviously is not ready for a serious long term relationship, and maybe you were more ready than she was. I think in high school it really is about committment issues. Many people no matter what they have shared with someone, are not ready to make those kind of long term choices for themselves. They just don't want to at 17-18 yrs. old. Hell, now that I am out of my relationship of a year and 4 mo., I have been out of it for over 5 mo. and he was my first love, and I loved him with all of my heart, but seriously, now that I am away from it this long, I realise how much I was giving up of my life. Now I want to go and have some fun. The pain will get better, and somehow you will come to understand that it is not about you, but it is so much more about her and what she is ready for. And obviously she is not ready for much. She may committ to other people, maybe even for long periods of time the way she did with you, but I don't think all of sudden she is going to become a person who is mature and can handle real committment. These are just my thoughts and I hope they help.
Author broncos23 Posted June 8, 2008 Author Posted June 8, 2008 Thanks for your thoughts. I do have to agree on the whole commitment part. Do you even talk to your ex still? What do you suggest I should keep minimal contact or none at all? Right now, I barely talk to her and even when we do the convo lasts no more than 5 min and they're on general subjects. What I don't get is that she still asks about me. For example last night, I was over a friend's house and she call to see what he was up too. He was like nah. just have some people over. She was like who and then he said my name and my friend told me she started to ask a whole bunch of questions. IDK I just find this whole thing weird.
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