bluebellgirl Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 two years of bliss adn he ended it 2 weeks ago without warning.. we were so deeply committed we have our names tattooed, we planned a future. im 37 been through so much trauma pain and loss but i met him and he was everything. we were so close, our connection was so deep, he was my best friend, my lover, my soulmate. when i met him his was ill for 9 months and i looked after him and his trauma and pain came up and i supported him. then he got better and i got ill with m.e/cfs and treatment resistant thyroid disease. and my pain and trauma came up and he looked after me, we spent the best part of 2 years together all the time happy, then 2 months ago he set up a buisness as a music producer and was so busy he couldnt spend much time with me, i adapted and never put pressure on him but when he ended it he said he had felt guilty for months cos he knew i was ill and he said the guilt had turned into resentment and he hasnt been in love qwith me for months.. i never knew he was still the same with me. he says ive healed him and now hes moving on and focussing on the buisiness.. he has cut all contact.. he wants to be friends in the future but i cant as il be wanting what we had and itll be too painful. im so bereaved i have no friends no family no health and ive lost my soulmate, my best friend my partmer. i took an od after he left and now im struggling tov keep on breathing without him. blue x
JustInKase Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 It is tough when someone you love walks away. I know the feeling, all too well. I had a love several years ago that I thought would shatter me when it ended. It didn't. I'm stronger now than ever. You will be too. It takes time. Allow yourself a short time to grieve. Cry. Let it all out. In a few weeks you will begin to feel better. Someday soon you will wonder why you even cried at all. Posting here will help you tremendously
borelandkaren Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 two years of bliss adn he ended it 2 weeks ago without warning.. we were so deeply committed we have our names tattooed, we planned a future. im 37 been through so much trauma pain and loss but i met him and he was everything. we were so close, our connection was so deep, he was my best friend, my lover, my soulmate. when i met him his was ill for 9 months and i looked after him and his trauma and pain came up and i supported him. then he got better and i got ill with m.e/cfs and treatment resistant thyroid disease. and my pain and trauma came up and he looked after me, we spent the best part of 2 years together all the time happy, then 2 months ago he set up a buisness as a music producer and was so busy he couldnt spend much time with me, i adapted and never put pressure on him but when he ended it he said he had felt guilty for months cos he knew i was ill and he said the guilt had turned into resentment and he hasnt been in love qwith me for months.. i never knew he was still the same with me. he says ive healed him and now hes moving on and focussing on the buisiness.. he has cut all contact.. he wants to be friends in the future but i cant as il be wanting what we had and itll be too painful. im so bereaved i have no friends no family no health and ive lost my soulmate, my best friend my partmer. i took an od after he left and now im struggling tov keep on breathing without him. blue x Please tell me a bit about the illnesses you have. I understand that the thyroid condition can be a hard one (I was chronically overactive) but at the same time it is treatable (unless you have something going on that I don't understand completely). Is the cfs something thyroid related? I know that depression is one thing that thyroid sufferers have a real problem with. Please darl, no more OD's. Get yourself to some kind of counselling ASAP. No amount of hurt is worth what you are doing to yourself. You need to focus on getting your body healthy again so that you can sort out what's going on with the rest of your life. Sometimes, all we need is to get one thing sorted and everything else just falls into place. As for your ex, it all sounds like it needs time. Time for you both to find your places with one another. To have so much illness between the two of you has put so much pressure on every aspect of the relationship and you need to learn to take it all one day at a time. First things first. Get yourself some therapeutic help. Take some time for yourself, do a bit of self love pampering. You need to do this. When we've been sick for such a long time, everything goes to pot. Pull yourself up, darl. Write and tell me about your thyroid problems and maybe I can give you some kind of insight into mine that may give you some kind of hope. Even just someone to talk to sometimes can ease the woes. I'm here. We all are.
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