Broken heart with the moving on attitude

[soyou]

It takes me so long to break up with him. Even though I am a breaker, I feel so hurt since I am still in love with him so much. But I want to move on with my life. I cant live expecting, hoping, and then all by myself being disappinted, just only because of him.

 

We’ve been together for almost a year. So many ups and downs around this relationship. He is too busy and could hardly make any spare time with me. For almost a year, I’ve never had any complete day with him. Mean a full day from morning till the evening.

 

Each week, we see each othe max twice and each time a couple of hours.

 

I don’t know his friends and neither he does. I just had a very simple contact with one of his friends.

 

I have never met his family, colleagues, or just people who know him

And neither does him.

 

It’s such a strange relationship. I’ve been to his house only twice in the very beginning of this relationship. After that, he made an excuse that his cousins and ant from US came here to stay and he didn’t want them to get involved in our relationship. Therefore, most of the time, he came to my place.

 

]However, the most painful part is he does not have time to be with me. He has his own business. He always promised it would get much better and all what he needed from me is to be patient and understanding.

 

And I’ve waited for almost a year. Things just get a very little better. we’ve fought so many times abt this but it leads to nowehre.

 

Sometimes, he just disappeared for several days without contacting me that made me so mad. But, this guy seems very good at making excuses. And stupid me, forgave him all the time.

 

X-mas, New year, Birthday, I was all by myself. No presents, no girft. Just nothing.

 

I’ve never like this before.

Generally, I have strong characters. Cant understand why I am so soft and weak in this relationship.

 

I have good education, career and very good looking as many people said and it shows in a number of guys queueing up to wait for my love.

 

Yesterday, after 3 days without contacting each other, again. He called and asked what time I would finish work . He wanted to come over. I said I was not sure yet of what time since there was a pile of paper works waiting for me at the office. He said “call me when you finish”. (One of another bad thing abt him is 75% never picking the phone calls from me. He calles me back normally after that half a day or a day later). So you guys know how bad he treats me and how I’ve been suffering.

 

I asked him “ Are you sure you will pick up my call?” he said “babe, no worries. I’ll do that”.

[After work, I called him twice. One after an other an hour. No calling back till now

 

]I was so mad, so sad this morning so I called him a agin. He did not pick up his fone call as he is used to be. I left him a voice mail saying “I am sick of this relationship. It could lead to nowhere and I cant stand you anymore. I think I don’t want to be with you anymore”.[

 

It hurst me so bad inside to say this to him cos I am still so in love with him

 

I know, once I break up with him, there are many better guys out there wanting to take me. But I just don’t want to move on. I want no one but him.

 

Sometimes, I know I am stupid but cant help falling deeper an deeper into him.

 

I turn off my phone and cut all the possible contact methods that he may use to make an excuse to me again

 

I cant fool myself anymore. This guy does not belong to me and will never do

 

Guess I need to go out to get some fresh air to heal my soul and my heart.

[

[borelandkaren]

It takes me so long to break up with him. Even though I am a breaker, I feel so hurt since I am still in love with him so much. But I want to move on with my life. I cant live expecting, hoping, and then all by myself being disappinted, just only because of him.

 

We’ve been together for almost a year. So many ups and downs around this relationship. He is too busy and could hardly make any spare time with me. For almost a year, I’ve never had any complete day with him. Mean a full day from morning till the evening.

 

Each week, we see each othe max twice and each time a couple of hours.

 

I don’t know his friends and neither he does. I just had a very simple contact with one of his friends.

 

I have never met his family, colleagues, or just people who know him

And neither does him.

 

It’s such a strange relationship. I’ve been to his house only twice in the very beginning of this relationship. After that, he made an excuse that his cousins and ant from US came here to stay and he didn’t want them to get involved in our relationship. Therefore, most of the time, he came to my place.

 

]However, the most painful part is he does not have time to be with me. He has his own business. He always promised it would get much better and all what he needed from me is to be patient and understanding.

 

And I’ve waited for almost a year. Things just get a very little better. we’ve fought so many times abt this but it leads to nowehre.

 

Sometimes, he just disappeared for several days without contacting me that made me so mad. But, this guy seems very good at making excuses. And stupid me, forgave him all the time.

 

X-mas, New year, Birthday, I was all by myself. No presents, no girft. Just nothing.

 

I’ve never like this before.

Generally, I have strong characters. Cant understand why I am so soft and weak in this relationship.

 

I have good education, career and very good looking as many people said and it shows in a number of guys queueing up to wait for my love.

 

Yesterday, after 3 days without contacting each other, again. He called and asked what time I would finish work . He wanted to come over. I said I was not sure yet of what time since there was a pile of paper works waiting for me at the office. He said “call me when you finish”. (One of another bad thing abt him is 75% never picking the phone calls from me. He calles me back normally after that half a day or a day later). So you guys know how bad he treats me and how I’ve been suffering.

 

I asked him “ Are you sure you will pick up my call?” he said “babe, no worries. I’ll do that”.

[After work, I called him twice. One after an other an hour. No calling back till now

 

]I was so mad, so sad this morning so I called him a agin. He did not pick up his fone call as he is used to be. I left him a voice mail saying “I am sick of this relationship. It could lead to nowhere and I cant stand you anymore. I think I don’t want to be with you anymore”.[

 

It hurst me so bad inside to say this to him cos I am still so in love with him

 

I know, once I break up with him, there are many better guys out there wanting to take me. But I just don’t want to move on. I want no one but him.

 

Sometimes, I know I am stupid but cant help falling deeper an deeper into him.

 

I turn off my phone and cut all the possible contact methods that he may use to make an excuse to me again

 

I cant fool myself anymore. This guy does not belong to me and will never do

 

Guess I need to go out to get some fresh air to heal my soul and my heart.

[

 

 

OK. Now to me he sounds a bit personality disordered. Anyone else getting this feeling. Darlin' you can't live like this. This man is not respecting you at all. As for belonging to you, no-one belongs to us. We choose to be 2gether. I know what u are saying but don't make this mistake. It sounds a bit like an addictive process going on. I really think he is playing you. Don't contact him. AT ALL. He needs to know that he cannot just pick up the phone and talk to you when he wants something from you. This is just a crock. Any relationship worth having is all or nothing. Don't take nothing. Don't settle for 2nd best. You sound like a lovely girl. Don't accept his crumbs. Go and give your love to someone who deserves you.

[JustInKase]

Please stay away from this guy. He is taking your love for granted and doesn't deserve one more second of it. Retain your dignity by preventing him from contacting you in anyway. Change your number, address, email, whatever. Go completely GHOST on him.

 

Start dating other guys.

[sid3]

OP, that is not how a man is suppose to treat woman. Not even close. Be glad you are ending it now rather than wasting any more of you life on this guy. You will find that it's better to be alone than be in a reltaionship where you also feel alone. There are alot of selfish people out there, hopefully this experience will help you avoid them in the future.

[soyou]

Thank you guys for all of your advices and support.

 

So this morning I turn of my phone and cut all the contacting methods that he may use to contact me. Around 13:00, I turn on my phone, firstly to call of friend of mine, and secondly, to check if he has called me. No call from him. Got myself prepared but still it hurt so bad.

 

After calling my friend, was about to turn off my phone again, he called. One side of me telling me that I miss him so much, I've not seen him for a week, I want to see him. Another side of me being so pissed and saying that dont pick up the call. Once you pick it up, you will lose this battle.

 

I was so weak though. I picked up his call. He did not mention anything abt my voicemail earlier. He asked if I was home and he wanted to come over for a little while. A weak me become so dominant and said "yes".

 

30 mins later, he came over. I asked him abt two calls yesterday and this morning's voicemail. he said he did not get any missed calls from me yesterday and this morning he saw a voicemail but did not have any chance to look at it.

 

I told him to not fool me around. I would be understanding if he said he was busy so he did not want to pick my calls. But he cant fool me by saying he did not get any missed calls from me. Ended of this discussion.

 

He said he wanted to have lunch with me. He brought with him so stuff and cooked for us. Stayed till 18:30 and the left.

 

I called him abt 30 mins after he had left, saying that I felt so lonely. I am busy working the whole week. I have only two days in the weekend. But he cant be here with me. He said dont say that. You make me feel so guilty. I am not there, but think of me. I always love you. I'll try to see you as soon as I have time.

 

Abt 20 mins ago, a boy friend of mine called me (he knows abt my relationship situation and my each move with my BF). He said "if you really break up with him, I really dont want to take an advantage of that. But if you need a shoulder to lean on and you need sb to keep you busy in order to not think of him. Use me, I am always there for you and with you".

 

I cried, not because of his offer, but because I cant help comparing with my BF. If he could have only a little care of this guy, I would be the happiest woman in this world.

 

He's treated me so bad, why cant I just let go and move on.

 

AFter tonight, when tomorrow morning comes. I hope to be stronger. Get out of this mess. I know there is a right guy waiting for me out there, somewhere.

[celinedion1]

OP, that is not how a man is suppose to treat woman. Not even close. Be glad you are ending it now rather than wasting any more of you life on this guy. You will find that it's better to be alone than be in a reltaionship where you also feel alone. There are alot of selfish people out there, hopefully this experience will help you avoid them in the future.

 

That is so true. When my ex and I were together he would play mind games with me by not contacting me for days and then telling me that he was thinking of our relationship. Towards the end of it I felt as if there was no relationship cause even though he claimed to love me he would ignore me and not want anything ot do with me. This was a learning experience and just know that there are good people out there.

[Trialbyfire]

This guy isn't all in but you are. Are you comfortable with this imbalance? It doesn't look like it. While it can be difficult to remain strong when you really care about someone, the more often you do it, the easier it gets.

[soyou]

Just about two hours ago, my BF came over to my place b'cos I had sent him an sms yesterday saying that I really needed to talk to him. I wanted him to come over so I would talk.

 

He came at 8.30 a.m. I told him that I wanted to break up and to move on with my life.And blah blah.

 

He said he never thought of how he could live without me. He understood from my side and my emotion.

 

At that time, there was still a little hope inside my heart that he would promise to make more time to be with me. He did not say that. He just kissed my hair and my cheek. Said he understood our situation. We were silient for a while.

 

Then, he said "I need to think abt this". I said "There is nothing to think over. This is our last time together. After today, I wont contact you anymore and I expect you to do the same. I wont bother you life anymore. And yeah, we will never see each other anymore".

 

Then he left.

 

I collapsed......

 

Deleted his phone's number, msn ID, just everything related to him.

 

Tried to tell myself that from now on, I can do watever I want. I can be with whoever I want to be with. I dont have to be pissed and upset all the time, jst because of him.

 

But tears are just falling. It hurt so bad inside to just think I wont see him again.

Not in a mood to do and to think anything at all.

 

From now on, my status will be available again...

[x Amy x]

This bloke does not deserve you. I am in a similar situation right now, it hurts so much, I can`t see the light at the end of the tunnel but people keep telling me there is one. Sorry not much help, but just to let you know that your not on your own at this isolated time.

[freedom8]

The only question that can be asked is, do you believe you should be treated this way? When someone is into someone, they should always want to be in contact. There shouldn't be too many excuses on board. He should fight at the times it mattered most. I'm sorry to hear of the eventual break up. It sounds like he must be a very busy man in order not to make some time and return contact for the one he cherishes. I believe you made the appropriate (right) decision and that you deserve someone who is equally willing to participate in the relationship together. Your hope now is to try and not think about him too much, this will start the process. It will be difficult, but no one in this world expects it to be simple. No contact always helps too as it quickens the process. Also, sometimes you do not always need to find an alternative and see other ppl straight away. Sometimes you learn so much more on your own for a while. Make sure you are not harbouring anger and too much bitterness. You really have to firstly concentrate on yourself and build your self worth again. GL.

[justaman99]

OP, that is not how a man is suppose to treat woman. Not even close. Be glad you are ending it now rather than wasting any more of you life on this guy. You will find that it's better to be alone than be in a reltaionship where you also feel alone. There are alot of selfish people out there, hopefully this experience will help you avoid them in the future.

 

agreed. well said.

[soyou]

Knowing over means over. I promise myself to just cry for today. From tomorrow I wont let my tears falling anymore.

 

So it has been a long and bad day for me. I've cried like I've never been sad before.

 

He sent me an sms about 3 hours ago saying "I forgot to give you back your book (my fav book). I will drop over to your mailbox before my flight tomorrow. So I dont disturb you and guess it makes you easier to move on. And I am sorry that I wasted 9months of your life to be with me".

 

I cried even so hard after his sms.

 

I've been crazy, unfocused, and out of control for the whole day long. Cant get him out of my mind.

 

I try to tell myself that from on now, I can move on as far as I want. I wont be pissed and upset anymore.

 

On the other side, i feel so lonely. I have no family here. He is the only one, who means so much to me, and I care so much abt.

 

Just today and tonight, I let myself think of him, cry about this relationship.

 

The night seems too long for me. I dont know how to get myself sleep so that I can be good enough to come to work tomorrow.

 

He is flying tomorrow. i dont know where he is going and for how long. My heart is crying out that I love, I care so much that it makes me crazy.

 

There is one thing I know for sure, the world is small but he and I will never see each other again.

 

Tomorrow, it's a new day.

 

I will refresh myself and my life. I'm really moving on without him bothering me.

 

Maybe, this time next week, when I come back this forum, I will be much better.

 

Thank you all for your comments and advices.

X