BigDreamer08 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 A guy friend asked me to go out with him this coming up sunday. Now he lives about two hours away. He is willing to drive two hours to pick me up and we have two options on where to go and what to do. Both places are another hour drive from my place. Its a toss up between a water park and a ferry ride to a shell island. The park will most likely be crowded with people but would be fun and the island would probably be quiet and relaxing while we hunt for shells and swim. They cost about the same, however the ferry ride is cheaper by a few dollars. About fifty dollars for the both of us for the day. He said he had me covered but I offered to pay my way. Now I feel since he is offering to pay and drive way out of his way we should go to the one that is more to his liking. He seemed excited about both places. He suggested the park, but didnt know if it would work out cost wise. I then suggested the ferry ride but when i found out it was almost the same price offered to pay for my portion. What do u think? This is the first date and I want to have fun. I dont want him to feel im taking advantage to his kindness so I want to do what he wants to do. But I dont want him to think Im undecisive and dont care. Im nervous too and im afraid the ride there is gonna be akward because Im so shy and have a hard time making coversation when im nervous (in vicinity of a guy who likes me.lol) Any advise would be great. Ideas to keep the talk flowing so theres no akward silences, and how I should approach this first date where to go thing. Thanks
george1122 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I am a guy and I get nervous on first or second date too. Think of it is as not a HUGE deal and just enjoy yourself and have fun. Even if there are silences, make eye contact and then smile. It breaks the ice. There is a difference between unbearable silence and comfortable silence. If you are not great at communicating when you are nervous, just have a good body language, make plenty of eye contact, smile, and if all goes well, touch his arm once or twice. 90% of communication is no verbal (60% of the conversation is your body language, 30% is the tone). That means 90% of what you want to say, ain’t coming out of your mouth.
Gawdess Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Let him pay. He asked you - he pays. He shouldn't be telling you it might be a cost issue because he asked. He won't respect you if you begin catering to him and paying....remember, he asked you on the date so he is paying because he wants to go out with you. If cost is an issue for him, when he is the one who came up with these expensive ideas for dates, he should have come up with less expensive activities for the date (duh). Let him be the man and pursue you. Don't offer to pay the first date.
Author BigDreamer08 Posted June 8, 2008 Author Posted June 8, 2008 Ok, so its the night before and he hasnt called or texted or IMed. So Im guessing he moved on, or isnt interested anymore. We havent met, so I cant say it was me. We talked yesterday and everything seemed fine, we talked about where we wanted to go, and then I had to work, so said talk to you later. I txted him once to say hi have a good day. Im clueless, and a little depressed. Seems like no one is interested in me. Any other ideas why the no contact?
ibitealil Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Hey girl, First of all please calm down...If he said he ll txt you he will..or else something has happened to him that is not connected to you...you didnt do anything wrong and things will be fine:) If you are shy and nervious its ok and remember he feels the same too...just make sure you show him that you are into him good luck:bunny:
Unxpctd1014 Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 since it's the first date, the park where you guys would be alone is a little to intimate for a first date. you need to be around people because you don't know what he's like and you aren't comfortable yet. you need to be comfortable. first and foremost. as desperate as you say you are. he wanted to go out with you so you let him call. don't wait for him. as far as you being shy, i hope he knows that. let him know so he doesn't assume its because u dont like him or dont care.
Author BigDreamer08 Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 Thanks everyone. Didnt go, he never called. Oh well. Guess something or someone better came along, and he didnt have the decency to call and cancel. I never brought up paying my way again after he had first said wasnt sure bout what hed have left on his check but would pay, I just accepted that he offered and wasnt gonna whine about it, our last conversation was good, we laughed and seemed excited. Im not desperate (was depressed), just was looking forward to it. And Im sure it had nothing to do with me, but deep down it hurts a little.
Author BigDreamer08 Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 Ok so he called me a day after the date. says he was really sick with food poisoning. that hes a douche for not calling, and wants to plan on going out again next Sunday.
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