JustPassingThru Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 Well, it's was inevitable. My ex's best friend just wrote me a message on the imfamous "Myspace". I'm actually really good friends with her best friend, my ex and I are in the same circle of friends, we all grew up together, blah blah, blah. So it definatley makes things interesting to say the least. Anyway...... She was asking me how I have been and what I've been doing and if I'm seeing anyone new. Which got me thinking, is this her friend or is this my ex asking all the questions? I haven't replied, since I'm fully aware that whatever I say will be immediately directed back in the direction of my ex. I'm not sure how to respond or if I should. But if I don't, then I come off as an ass. If I do, the ex gains insight into my life. Double edged sword. On a side note, I texted my ex last night after a week and a half of no contact. I know, I know... I don't even want to hear it.
kizik Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 This is how I'd respond to the friend: "I'm doing OK. Just basically getting through the day. I'm bummed, of course. But I'm trying to hang out with friends and play shows. Classes are almost over..." See how I left the "seeing other people" aspect of it open-ended, while not being rude, or an "ass" as you say. I wouldn't worry about this too much. Don't call the ex a bitch and don't whine about how much you miss her. This is not really an issue, IMO.
ColeTrickle Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 I wouldnt even go as far as to say your bummed. If you reallly have to respond keep it short, simple and neutral like.. "i'm o.k" and then add somthing irelavant like.. classes are ending soon!
sid3 Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 How about replying with, I'm doing great! Classes are almost finished and I am making plans for a really fun summer!
Author JustPassingThru Posted June 7, 2008 Author Posted June 7, 2008 Well, I talked with her friend for a while. I gathered all the sadness, tucked it away and totally faked Mr.Happy I don't want her to know I'm miserable. She'd probably get a kick out of it. Anyway, there are a lot of positive things happenening in my life. So I let her friend know. I'm sure everything I said was repeated to the ex. I'm cool with that. She's probably thinking, "why the F is he so happy!?" Oh well. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. Weeee....
Template Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I think you did a great job being positive, and even though you have some misery, not clue her in on any of that. The added bonus is that when you start putting into words and communicating your positive experiences, it also reinforces within you that positive energy, thus helping you move along with your life. This is a much more productive use of your time and energy, and if the X is complaining why are you so happy, you are definitely much better off overall.
borelandkaren Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 well, I Talked With Her Friend For A While. I Gathered All The Sadness, Tucked It Away And Totally Faked Mr.happy I Don't Want Her To Know I'm Miserable. She'd Probably Get A Kick Out Of It. Anyway, There Are A Lot Of Positive Things Happenening In My Life. So I Let Her Friend Know. I'm Sure Everything I Said Was Repeated To The Ex. I'm Cool With That. She's Probably Thinking, "why The F Is He So Happy!?" Oh Well. Can't Wait To See What Tomorrow Brings. Weeee.... Well Done, Jpt!!!!!!
0hpenelope Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Well, I talked with her friend for a while. I gathered all the sadness, tucked it away and totally faked Mr.Happy I don't want her to know I'm miserable. She'd probably get a kick out of it. Anyway, there are a lot of positive things happenening in my life. So I let her friend know. I'm sure everything I said was repeated to the ex. I'm cool with that. She's probably thinking, "why the F is he so happy!?" Oh well. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. Weeee.... That's it! If there's anything that I got out of LS and from other users, it's to not give the one who broke my heart the satisfaction of an ego boost that he was that important to me. Faking it 'til we make it. It sounds ugly, but honestly... it's another facet to recovering from a break-up. Perhaps she's wondering why you're happy, and perhaps that's exactly what she wants you to be as well: happy and recovered from the break-up. Puh-leeaase... "Ex, your ex-bf's status is not your business anymore. JPT's healing after what's happened so you'd do well to leave JPT alone, thanks." Well done! Honestly, this is what I should've done a long time ago... really. It took a while to take, but I learned my lessons now. So you keep on this path. If you sent her a text, don't sweat it: send as many of those text messages as you want until it takes to you that feeling hurt after messaging her is not worth the energy it takes to feel that way. But put in all your effort to stay faithful to NC since you've chosen it. Take care.
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