hookem71 Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 Hello All, I have been reading through the forums for over a year now and finally decided to post. I married a woman about 4 years ago and she had 2 previous children from 2 previous dads. I really enjoy kids and got the sad story that it was all the guys faults that the relationships did not work out. We got married and had a daughter. After that things began to change. We started arguing over the stupidest things. She would involve everyone in our problems (Friends, Family and Neighbors). To the point where my own neighbors thought that I was a controlling man because I was against her parting and staying out late all the time. She would go out and come rolling in at 4am in the morning while I sat at home and watched my daughter and her 2 boys. Finally in January I had enough. I moved out and filed for divorce. Thank god I am in Texas. It was over April 26th and I pretty much got the House, The Business and my daughter 50% of the time. I also found out right before my divorce was final that she had a 4th kid by a 4th dad and I did not find out from her but from an EX. Here is the problem that I am having a hard time dealing with. Within 10 days of me moving out she started seeing some new guy. I do not have a problem with that, but I do have a problem with her having him around my daughter. She has had men in and out of her kids lives every since they were born. She feels like it’s no big deal. I do not allow anyone to be around my daughter unless it’s out in public for a few hours. I absolutely hate what she has done with our marriage and to the kids. She tries to dump her kids on anyone that will babysit so she can go out and party. I have my daughter 12 out of 15 weekends this summer so at least she will have some stability. She has nothing going for her and continues to jump from relationship to relationship. Allowing man after man to be in and out of her kids lives. I am absolutely sick and disgusted by it. I know we have a daughter together, but right now I do not want to see her or even talk to her about my daughter. Is this normal? Every time I see her it just makes my skin crawl and she thinks everything she is doing is perfectly normal. The funny thing is while she was seeing him she would call me all the time over silly things related to my daughter. She would call me at 6am in the morning crying. I am so disgusted with her that I changed my mobile number so the only place she can reach me at is my business or the home number. Her own father won’t have anything to do with her because she is only 28 and has been doing this same stuff every since she was a teenager. I guess I am frustrated more than ever. I thought it would get easier, but it has actually gotten harder. I guess I wanted my marriage to work for the sake of the kids.
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 There really isn't much you can do. Unless you can convince a court of law that she is in fact a man, you are kind of powerless. Is there a chance that you can work something out with her? Something where she would drop your daughter off before she has a man over? Or maybe provide you names and social security numbers for the guys she drags over, so that you can background check them. Nothing better than mom dating a serial child molester.
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 You need to do whatever it takes to get your child now! I believe a court would look at her track record and seriously reconsider putting her in her moms custody, there's such a person called a parenting evaluator. Get a bulldog lawyer and hit the library start researching your parental rights. Get your kid, they deserve better. 4 kids by 4 different men??? WTF? she got issues and aint no one gonna argue with that fact.
husbndinthemaking Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 She does have emotional issues. This is true. I think she has a problem with abandonment. Weird, huh? She is the one that leaves though? If she does not seek professional help, she is doomed for the rest of her life. Best of luck on getting your child. For a man, this is a VERY tough battle to win. You need to do whatever it takes to get your child now! I believe a court would look at her track record and seriously reconsider putting her in her moms custody, there's such a person called a parenting evaluator. Get a bulldog lawyer and hit the library start researching your parental rights. Get your kid, they deserve better. 4 kids by 4 different men??? WTF? she got issues and aint no one gonna argue with that fact.
stbx2007 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 You need to do whatever it takes to get your child now! I believe a court would look at her track record and seriously reconsider putting her in her moms custody, there's such a person called a parenting evaluator. Get a bulldog lawyer and hit the library start researching your parental rights. Get your kid, they deserve better. 4 kids by 4 different men??? WTF? she got issues and aint no one gonna argue with that fact. I agree. I think that the courts are being unfair to men and it is often hurting children. Whenever a woman has multiple children by multiple fathers a flag should go up. These are women looking for something they can't find and having kids in the process. The children are their last priority. Start documenting EVERY TIME she goes out to party and what time she rolls in. Parenting is not her priority. She has a poor track record. Get a bulldog lawyer. Find a fathers advocacy organization and get all the help you can. I think you'll win. Good luck.
twice_shy Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 Hello All, I have been reading through the forums for over a year now and finally decided to post. I married a woman about 4 years ago and she had 2 previous children from 2 previous dads. I really enjoy kids and got the sad story that it was all the guys faults that the relationships did not work out. We got married and had a daughter. After that things began to change. We started arguing over the stupidest things. She would involve everyone in our problems (Friends, Family and Neighbors). To the point where my own neighbors thought that I was a controlling man because I was against her parting and staying out late all the time. She would go out and come rolling in at 4am in the morning while I sat at home and watched my daughter and her 2 boys. OH MY! This was my story to a T. Except our kids were both of ours. It isn't controlling to expect your wife to act like a wife. And I locked the doors one time she stayed out that late. I woke up at 3am, realized she wasn't home yet, so I locked the doors. She never took her house key with her. Its a good thing you are divorcing, someone that parties all the time and comes home that late on a regular basis isn't to be trusted. Who cares what your idiot neighbors think. If their spouse waltzed in at the wee hours of the morning on a regular basis, you bet they'd be pissed too. Finally in January I had enough. I moved out and filed for divorce. Thank god I am in Texas. It was over April 26th and I pretty much got the House, The Business and my daughter 50% of the time. I also found out right before my divorce was final that she had a 4th kid by a 4th dad and I did not find out from her but from an EX. Wow, she sounds like a real catch..........of shiit. Within 10 days of me moving out she started seeing some new guy. I do not have a problem with that, but I do have a problem with her having him around my daughter. She has had men in and out of her kids lives every since they were born. She feels like it’s no big deal. I do not allow anyone to be around my daughter unless it’s out in public for a few hours. I absolutely hate what she has done with our marriage and to the kids. She tries to dump her kids on anyone that will babysit so she can go out and party. With a tramp like that, I'd go for full custody, if not at the very least the right to be the custodial parent. I have my daughter 12 out of 15 weekends this summer so at least she will have some stability. She has nothing going for her and continues to jump from relationship to relationship. Allowing man after man to be in and out of her kids lives. I am absolutely sick and disgusted by it. I know my man, nothing worse than that feeling of how your kids are doing when in the custody of someone so morally bankrupt. I know we have a daughter together, but right now I do not want to see her or even talk to her about my daughter. Is this normal? Its very normal. I only want to talk to my X when dealing with her regarding the kids. I don't want to talk small talk with her...I don't want to know how she is doing...and I don't care what she does with the exception of how it affects my children. All I care about is my kids. Her own father won’t have anything to do with her because she is only 28 and has been doing this same stuff every since she was a teenager. When someones own parents disown their kids, that says alot right there. I guess I am frustrated more than ever. I thought it would get easier, but it has actually gotten harder. I guess I wanted my marriage to work for the sake of the kids. So did I, but once I found out all the shiit she did, looking at her made me want to vomit, so I filed. But in the good old socialist state of Illinois, fathers get the shaft. The only chance I have of being the custodial parent is for her to get busted for something, and seeing as she is probably doing drugs, it won't be long. In the meantime I have to sit and wait and worry about my kids well-being. I have covered everything I know about her with my lawyer and he says its not enough to get custody from her. He advises me to wait. Anyway, didn't mean to jack, just wanted you to know someone else is in pretty much the same sitch as you.
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