Fiance left to see what else is out there

[chrisanderson]

Hello.

I'm new to this forum but I just need some advice on how to deal with my current situation.

 

Ok, here goes:

My gf of 5 years left me saying she needs her space. We all know that when a girl says she needs her space 9 time out of 10 it means that she wants to see someone else. I asked her if she had another guy in mind and she said no not at all. Yes, our relationship had its ups and downs as all do but there was no big event that caused this. Anyway she says that she's been with me for so long that she doesn't know what it feels like to go to a movie or dinner with another guy. We've been together since we were 17; we're both 22 now. I understand what she's saying but I just don't agree. If you love someone, why would you feel the need to see what else is out there?

 

To add insult to injury we were in the process of planning our wedding. We planned on going to look @ rings in the coming weeks. She was also going to look for her dress and her bridesmaids dresses. Even the day before she asked that we take a break, she was talking about the wedding. I'm crushed, my family is crushed, her family is crushed.

 

So in the beginning I tried to rationalize things with her but I found out quickly that I would get nowhere. I would call her and almost plead with her to see what she was ruining but I could tell that it was only getting her more and more aggravated with me. I've been best friends with this girl for 8 years, since we were freshmen in highschool so I know (or atleast thought I knew) what she would and wouldn't do in any given situation.

 

So I come to find out that she's been seeing another guy. Supposedly he has lots of money and has been taking her to fancy places and showing her a good time. She didn't admit it to me at 1st but came clean and told me everything. She says that she met him 6 months ago and at 1st she would decline his offers and it wasn't only until AFTER she requested her space from me that she began to see him. I'm having a hard time believing that. But anyway, after she told me all of that I just told her I wish her the best and I hope she finds what she's looking for. I really should have told her to F off but I just love her too much to be mean to her. She then said "If it doesn't work with him then I know that I went looking for something that wasn't there and I'll apologize to you and ask if we can go forward." I didn’t say anything. So after that the conversation ended. The next day she invited me over for dinner. I went but now regret it. She treated me like I was just a "friend". After we ate we sat on the couch but she sat on the opposite side of the couch, almost like she was uncomfortable. When I saw that she seemed uneasy I thanked her for the food and then left. That was like 4 days ago. Haven’t spoken with her since.

 

I'm hurting really bad! I was good to this girl, never abused her, never treated her wrong, I always lifted her up and encouraged her. I've known her for 8 years and it's like it all means nothing now. All the good times, all the bad times, all the struggles, and she just throws it away. Now she's having the time of her life with this guy while I sit here in pain. I wouldn't even wish this kind of pain on her... She told me she kissed him and although it felt weird, in her heart she knew that that's what she needed. She's so adamant about "needing" to see what else is out there. It's so crazy. This is the same person who picked out our children's names, same person who picked out the color scheme of our living room, dining room and bedroom for when we got married. This is the same person who suggested that we start buying silverware now so that we'd have things in order for when we got married and moved in together. Does she not feel the same pain? She put just as much work in this relationship as I have.

 

I sit here questioning. If she came back saying that it didn't work out with him whether 2 weeks, 2 months, 6 months from now, would I, should I take her back? I love this girl with all my heart and I know that at one point she loved me the same way. This girl would do anything for me but I'm guessing that it all faded. This pain is almost unbearable. Right now I'm focusing on building myself up again. But I wish that she'd come back. Although I could forgive her, I know that I'd have major trust issues. But at the same time, if I start over, I'd have major trust issues with the next person as well. I'm in a losing situation. That’s why I figure that I would probably be better taking her back (if she even ever came back) because atleast I know her and atleast I know that she got her little need to stray out of her system. It's probably better that I just don’t' even think of her coming back so that way I have no expectations. Any thoughts?

[justine4]

My heart goes out to you and I know the intense hurt you must be feeling right now, and a lot of people on here do too.

 

However I have my real doubts as to her motivation to end things and take up with this new guy. I'd say it was very flattering for her, the attention of the other guy.

 

In addition, so many people get 'cold feet' before getting married (I actually know a girl who called her wedding off a week before she was due to get married) and maybe she started to get scared about the major commitment she was about to make. I remember the night before my wedding I was in tears on the telephone to my best friend, who just happened to be male, asking him to take me away as I couldn't go through with it. He didn't and he told me he'd had exactly the same conversation with his sister the year before when she was about to get married too. He should've talked me out of it afterall as my marriage didn't work out... I digress...

 

The point I'm trying to make is that it probably hasn't anything to do with loss of love for you that she has decided to end things. Give her a little time. The guy is offering her something new and fresh which is going to be novel to her now, but, if the love is there between you (and you have a lot of history having been together for so long) the novelty will wear off. She may start comparing him to you and realise what she has lost.

 

I know its no consolation to you now, but time is the only thing that will get you back together, and then it'll be your decision if you can/want to get past this...

[twice_shy]

I sit here questioning. If she came back saying that it didn't work out with him whether 2 weeks, 2 months, 6 months from now, would I, should I take her back?

 

Well thats up to you, but you'd be an idiot if you did. She would then know she has you wrapped around her little finger and can get away with anything.

 

I mean really, she dumps you to go fek around with other guys, then comes back...if you take her back, damn would that be a great ego boost for her.

 

 

I love this girl with all my heart and I know that at one point she loved me the same way. This girl would do anything for me but I'm guessing that it all faded. This pain is almost unbearable.

 

Then what you need to do is forget her and move on. I understand that pain my man, I really do. But another great girl will take that pain away toot sweet!

 

Not saying you HAVE to go out and find someone...enjoy being single again for a while.

 

 

[qutoe]Right now I'm focusing on building myself up again. But I wish that she'd come back.

 

*sigh*...man, my heart bleeds for you dude. You are willing to be the backup plan. Why settle for that?

 

 

Although I could forgive her, I know that I'd have major trust issues. But at the same time, if I start over, I'd have major trust issues with the next person as well. I'm in a losing situation. That’s why I figure that I would probably be better taking her back

 

 

Wrong. I thought the same thing. But when I started dating again, I realized that I had nothing to distrust about someone new until they gave me a reason to not trust them.

 

 

(if she even ever came back) because atleast I know her and atleast I know that she got her little need to stray out of her system.

 

I doubt it. Straying dogs never stop leaving your yard. If the fence is open, they will bolt.

 

 

It's probably better that I just don’t' even think of her coming back so that way I have no expectations. Any thoughts?

 

Yes, move on. She aint worth it.

[chrisanderson]

thanks for the responses. It feels like I'm living a dream. 5 years just thrown away. I've been dying to hear from her but she hasn't called. Probably too busy with her new guy. I want to break nc because I fear she will forget me. I mentioned that to my brother and he said: "what's the name of your fifth grade teacher?" "Mrs. Dixon" I said. Then he said, "well if you can remember her then your exgf CANT forget you." That was some good advice as it helped my desire to call her totally disappear; for now.

 

I'm hurt so bad but at this stage I'd still take her back. Sucks to say because that would make me plan b. Ugh, so difficult!

[Bobby.Roy]

Buddy, i feel your pain..My girl, after being with me for 9 years, left me for a mutual friend. That was in March; this is June..Though i still feel the pain, but i am learning to live without her. As hard as it is, i truly believe that if they would love us in the first place, they wouldn't even think about 'space' and all that BS!

 

My GF left me for this mutual friend who is very rich and as far as i know, they are very happy together; he is spending a fortune on her - getting her new dresses, taking her to places, basically giving her every materialistic (and probably emotional) happiness as well.

 

This is how life is; break-ups are a part of it. I was shatterd (i still am!), but believe me after a certain period of time (a month, couple of months), you will start feeling better for sure. You'll have a different perspective on the whole situation. At first, i was so angry on her, that how could she just cheat and ruin a 9 year old relationship for a 6 month old "friendship", but then i realized, if someone has lost feelings for you, "fell out" of love, then there is nothing really we can do.

 

I pleaded to her, begged to her, but seriously nothing worked; she went to him and that is how our story has ended (atleast for the time being!)..I do not think whether she would regret all this one day or not, we must move on buddy..Just take care of yourself and be strong at this moment. We all are with you on this.

[J2FT1]

Buddy, i feel your pain..My girl, after being with me for 9 years, left me for a mutual friend. That was in March; this is June..Though i still feel the pain, but i am learning to live without her. As hard as it is, i truly believe that if they would love us in the first place, they wouldn't even think about 'space' and all that BS!

 

My GF left me for this mutual friend who is very rich and as far as i know, they are very happy together; he is spending a fortune on her - getting her new dresses, taking her to places, basically giving her every materialistic (and probably emotional) happiness as well.

 

This is how life is; break-ups are a part of it. I was shatterd (i still am!), but believe me after a certain period of time (a month, couple of months), you will start feeling better for sure. You'll have a different perspective on the whole situation. At first, i was so angry on her, that how could she just cheat and ruin a 9 year old relationship for a 6 month old "friendship", but then i realized, if someone has lost feelings for you, "fell out" of love, then there is nothing really we can do.

 

I pleaded to her, begged to her, but seriously nothing worked; she went to him and that is how our story has ended (atleast for the time being!)..I do not think whether she would regret all this one day or not, we must move on buddy..Just take care of yourself and be strong at this moment. We all are with you on this.

 

I get so pissed when I read things like this. A girl after X years leaves. And you (the guy) have been nothing but sweet to her. THAT IS THE PROBLEM. The thing about girls these days is that you have to smack them around a little bit (being bold and staying bold). You have to be a badass once in a while or she will say "we lost that spark," "I need space."

[J2FT1]

Buddy, i feel your pain..My girl, after being with me for 9 years, left me for a mutual friend. That was in March; this is June..Though i still feel the pain, but i am learning to live without her. As hard as it is, i truly believe that if they would love us in the first place, they wouldn't even think about 'space' and all that BS!

 

My GF left me for this mutual friend who is very rich and as far as i know, they are very happy together; he is spending a fortune on her - getting her new dresses, taking her to places, basically giving her every materialistic (and probably emotional) happiness as well.

 

This is how life is; break-ups are a part of it. I was shatterd (i still am!), but believe me after a certain period of time (a month, couple of months), you will start feeling better for sure. You'll have a different perspective on the whole situation. At first, i was so angry on her, that how could she just cheat and ruin a 9 year old relationship for a 6 month old "friendship", but then i realized, if someone has lost feelings for you, "fell out" of love, then there is nothing really we can do.

 

I pleaded to her, begged to her, but seriously nothing worked; she went to him and that is how our story has ended (atleast for the time being!)..I do not think whether she would regret all this one day or not, we must move on buddy..Just take care of yourself and be strong at this moment. We all are with you on this.

 

Whoa, 9 years? I bet you guys were like married except no kids and no rings, right?

[Bobby.Roy]

I get so pissed when I read things like this. A girl after X years leaves. And you (the guy) have been nothing but sweet to her. THAT IS THE PROBLEM. The thing about girls these days is that you have to smack them around a little bit (being bold and staying bold). You have to be a badass once in a while or she will say "we lost that spark," "I need space."

 

After all that she did, i guess, you are bang on! Guys do need to be a badass sometimes! They really do..Perhaps, i was "too" good for her or something..There is a book titled No More Good Guy; its a must read man! Its really awesome.. :)

 

Whoa, 9 years? I bet you guys were like married except no kids and no rings, right?

 

Yes, absolutely! We knew each other so well, she was like my shadow and vice versa..I was even thinking of surprising her by proposing to her in April, but then it was in March that i got to know that she has been cheating (emotionally) with this friend, for about 2 months or so, and i was absolutely shattered! It was as if a train had rammed onto me while my back was facing towards it..

 

It was pathetic, really! I mean, after 9 years, she tells me i dont love you anymore, i love that x guys! Wow! This is simply great!!!

 

Anyways, she is very happy with her new guy now, and really enjoying her life..

 

*sigh*

[J2FT1]

After all that she did, i guess, you are bang on! Guys do need to be a badass sometimes! They really do..Perhaps, i was "too" good for her or something..There is a book titled No More Good Guy; its a must read man! Its really awesome.. :)

 

 

 

Yes, absolutely! We knew each other so well, she was like my shadow and vice versa..I was even thinking of surprising her by proposing to her in April, but then it was in March that i got to know that she has been cheating (emotionally) with this friend, for about 2 months or so, and i was absolutely shattered! It was as if a train had rammed onto me while my back was facing towards it..

 

It was pathetic, really! I mean, after 9 years, she tells me i dont love you anymore, i love that x guys! Wow! This is simply great!!!

 

Anyways, she is very happy with her new guy now, and really enjoying her life..

 

*sigh*

 

I'm pretty sure she got bored. Yeah, that's it. Here's what you should have done on a random night in your relationship:

 

Tell her you are going to be at work all night and for her to have a good night sleep, lock the doors, the usual. Then when you know for sure she is asleep get in the house, and act like you are raping her (don't be as agressive as the real thing). Make sure she doesn't know it's you until you're in her. She'll remember it for a good while.

 

Sounds creepy but fun, huh?

[Bobby.Roy]

Sounds creepy but fun, huh?

 

:D HA HA..Yeah! But, i guess her "new" guy can use this tip now!

 

Yeah, probably she got bored and may be that "initial" spark was lost after 9 years of being in a relationship, but she should've talked to me, communication is the key here..

 

Anyways...No use now just blabbering about "what Ifs" and stuff..

[Nemo]

I want to break nc because I fear she will forget me. I mentioned that to my brother and he said: "what's the name of your fifth grade teacher?" "Mrs. Dixon" I said. Then he said, "well if you can remember her then your exgf CANT forget you." That was some good advice as it helped my desire to call her totally disappear; for now.

Your brother sounds awesome! The dude is simply brilliant. And I bet he has a really cute arse.

If you love someone, why would you feel the need to see what else is out there?

It's an awful realisation, but I'm afraid you might have answered your own question. They might call it "grass is greener" syndrome, but the prognosis is almost always bad. She seems, after all, to be thinking more about herself, than about you (or what you thought you had together).

[LucreziaBorgia]

I sit here questioning. If she came back saying that it didn't work out with him whether 2 weeks, 2 months, 6 months from now, would I, should I take her back?

 

2 weeks - you probably would

2 months - you might, but probably not

6 months - you'd tell her to f*ck off

 

You need time now. Lots of it with no contact with her at all. It will be hard the first few weeks, but in a couple of months clarity will begin to set in and you won't be lamenting what you lost - you'll be angry. In six months to a year you will think and rethink things, and realize that the girl you knew disappeared and was replaced with a lying, cheating stranger and you will mourn the loss of the girl you knew and be glad that you are rid of the girl she became.

[borelandkaren]

Nemo, are you sure you're not my perverted brother?!!!!He says all the same kinds of things and while he sometimes ****s me to tears, other times I piss myself laughing too!!!:lmao:

[Kman21]

You know I really don't know how girls leave you in that X amount of years. Personally my ex left me after two years for another guy, I mean we were talking about marriage and everything. And the same thing happened to me, she told me she was "out of love".

[borelandkaren]

I think you guys were both very, very young and you should both take it as an opportunity to explore new horizons. I do understand how much it all hurts but maybe down the track if it is meant to be, it will work again. You may just have to try to take something positive from the experience, whatever that may be. The old saying is that "if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was". Hard to live with darlin' but sometimes you have to look at the cold hard facts. Good luck.

[chrisanderson]

2 weeks - you probably would

2 months - you might, but probably not

6 months - you'd tell her to f*ck off

 

You need time now. Lots of it with no contact with her at all. It will be hard the first few weeks, but in a couple of months clarity will begin to set in and you won't be lamenting what you lost - you'll be angry. In six months to a year you will think and rethink things, and realize that the girl you knew disappeared and was replaced with a lying, cheating stranger and you will mourn the loss of the girl you knew and be glad that you are rid of the girl she became.

 

 

You know what, I think you may have something there. I'm already regretting/ mourning the person she became. It has been one month already and it still hurts badly. Oh well, time will tell if her rebound works out or if she comes back regretting her decision. In the meantime I have been really focusing on making myself a better person. There were certain things in our relationship that I regret doing and if I get the chance with her or if I start a fresh relationship I'll be sure not to repeat them.

[Kman21]

I hope you keep us posted man, I would like to see the outcome of this, we all could learn something about this...

[Whey2Big4u]

Dude.my story is axactly like yours. 6 years, she was planning things and in one day all gone......spac space space.

 

long story short, 9 months passed. Still nada. Ive met others, but it aint the same.........

 

The pain does go away........the physical/emotional stuff, you know that pain in your gut that wont go away.

 

Getting into another relationship right after doesnt work either, it makes you more confused

 

As for her,........trust me KARMA kicks ass. My ex too was living the high life after she left me.........now she lost everyhting (job, failed school etc....form what i hear throught the grapevine)

 

Yeah i feel bad for her, but she asked for it

 

If its meant to be its meant to be, but dont take her back right away if she does............lt her know your not interested and that se did make a mistake, but if you cant find anyone then shell be your backup

[dadawg]

having walked through the same path you have, I think I can say I know exactly how you feel. The only difference between the two of us is that I am about ten years older, and that's a good thing for you. You can not control what people do to you or how they feel towards you. The only thing you can control is your own actions and feelings. You lost nothing by giving her a hundred percent. You were just a good man. One day, she would realize that if she has not already by now. Right now, like you said, you need to mend yourself. It's not easy, but you will adjust because time flies, and time is your best friend. As far as for taking her back, it really is up to you, but you will have a tough time with her if you do. You will never completely trust her. You will always do things with her with half a heart. Well, atleast, until enough time has elapsed to regain your trust, so just be warned. The bad news in all this may be that she probably does not and has never felt the way you feel about her. Therefore, it's not a big thing for her to walk away. Another thing is that one day, when the new guy is gone, and he will be, she will surely think of you. Then, she would care about you and realize how you loved her. The challenge for you at that point will be to wither all her emotions, and still let her go. You are a good man, and the next thing for you is to be a strong man. Good luck!

[Confused9]

I was in a similiar situation that turned ugly pretty fast. I say continue NC and thank your lucky stars you didn't marry her.

 

Right now, you are in control of your own life. Start living. I know you are thinking you want her back and you wish she still loved you and you are confused as h*ll and half listening to other people's advice becasue you think 'your relationship was different' or 'she really loves me but is confused'. You inspect everything she says and does and make it in to 'she must still love me or she wouldn't have...' etc. etc. But take it from someone who was in your shoes...it's not worth it, she isn't worth it, she doesn't love you, she is gone and isn't coming back and if she were to come back...it would NEVER EVER be the same. EVER.

 

Imagine sitting out to dinner, eating and talking...like you used to...now imagine it like it were after all this. Would you even look at her the same? I know you think that is what you want...but is it really what you want? I doubt it. I really do.

 

Just work on learning things about yourself again. I was engaged at your age and obviously things didn't work out and I wish now that he'd broken it off when I was younger. Now, I am single at 27 and scared sh*tless. I don't even know how to date. I feel like I am 19 again in terms of comfort level with other guys.

 

Just do everything you can to make yourself get over your x. Don't waste anymore time. Take it from someone how has been there and wasted time! You dont' want to do it...she's not worth it. She doesn't love you how she should. Let her be with the other man. History repeats itself...

[CaliGuy]

To the OP, give her all the space she wants. Go complete NC with her and do whatever you need to do in order to not poke around in her life. Nothing you find out will make you feel better.

 

In the meantime, I want you to go get a book called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Glover. No, it's not what you think it is. It is not a book on how to be a jerk, it's a book that shows you how to build your confidence and self-esteem. You made so many comments in your original post that made me think that perhaps you have a bit of a "door mat" personality. Now, that may not be true and if I am wrong I will be the first to admit it.

 

But in the meantime, get the book. You need to stay away from her. Hang out with friends, work out, do all the fun things you've been wanting to do and focus on rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem. You both are very young and this is not unusual. But the worst thing you can do is beat yourself up over this. Instead, put some serious focus on YOU. There's nothing you can do about her. You don't control her, you don't control the past. All you are in control of is you.

 

Every relationship is a learning process. What you learn from this will help you in all future relationships. The chance for your ex to come back is low so I want you to not focus on getting her back. That should never be your focus. You need to focus on getting YOU back. On being happy and content without her in your life. The more you focus on her, the longer you will stay down. If she wants to come back, she will on her own. It won't be anything you say or do. Her heart has to change on it's own.

 

In the meantime, give her all the space in the world and don't dare grab any table scraps she throws at you. You don’t need her. You love her, yes and that is understandable. But you don't NEED her…..

 

FWIW, I've been in your exact same shoes. That contempt she had, sitting on opposite side of the couch, tells you all you need to know about how she is feeling now.

[chrisanderson]

To the OP, give her all the space she wants. Go complete NC with her and do whatever you need to do in order to not poke around in her life. Nothing you find out will make you feel better.

 

In the meantime, I want you to go get a book called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Glover. No, it's not what you think it is. It is not a book on how to be a jerk, it's a book that shows you how to build your confidence and self-esteem. You made so many comments in your original post that made me think that perhaps you have a bit of a "door mat" personality. Now, that may not be true and if I am wrong I will be the first to admit it.

 

But in the meantime, get the book. You need to stay away from her. Hang out with friends, work out, do all the fun things you've been wanting to do and focus on rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem. You both are very young and this is not unusual. But the worst thing you can do is beat yourself up over this. Instead, put some serious focus on YOU. There's nothing you can do about her. You don't control her, you don't control the past. All you are in control of is you.

 

Every relationship is a learning process. What you learn from this will help you in all future relationships. The chance for your ex to come back is low so I want you to not focus on getting her back. That should never be your focus. You need to focus on getting YOU back. On being happy and content without her in your life. The more you focus on her, the longer you will stay down. If she wants to come back, she will on her own. It won't be anything you say or do. Her heart has to change on it's own.

 

In the meantime, give her all the space in the world and don't dare grab any table scraps she throws at you. You don’t need her. You love her, yes and that is understandable. But you don't NEED her…..

 

FWIW, I've been in your exact same shoes. That contempt she had, sitting on opposite side of the couch, tells you all you need to know about how she is feeling now.

 

Thanks. I'll def check out that book.

 

I'm hurting so bad right now. I feel so deserted. How could my best friend do this to me? Just sucks. Luckily I haven't felt the urge to call her. I know she's having the time of her life and I know that me calling her will only make the situation worse. She’ll probably make it seem like I’m bugging her and interrupting her fun which would make me feel like crap all over again. I rationalize it like this: I'm not perfect, she wasn't perfect, but we were a GREAT match. If she doesn't see it anymore or feels like she's missing out then that's her fault. This is the same girl who just 1 month ago told me that if I ever cheated on her she'd take me back because she loves me so much. Same girl who told me 10 days before the breakup that she couldn’t wait to get married and live the "married life". Words are SOOOO cheap. I must admit, the relationship got boring at times but then what relationship doesn't? It can't be fresh all the time. She can't expect to feel that spark all the time. I sure haven't been feeling all happy-go-lucky in our relationship but I saw past that. I saw the big picture! I've been saving money like crazy to get her a nice ring, so we could have a nice honeymoon, so we could get a nice place and she just neglected to see it. Oh well. I feel that I did my part. Again I wasn't perfect but no one is.

 

No more self pity! I have to move on from this. If she realizes the grass isn't greener and comes back, I guess I'll have a decision to make. Until then I have to think that maybe the grass IS greener for her and if I truly love her then I have to be happy for her. As much as it hurts to think about her kissing another guy or being held by another guy, I have to accept it as FACT. It is what it is... My heart tells me that I'd take her back because I love her UNCONDITIONALLY. I know that if she came down with cancer or got into a bad accident I’d stick by her side no matter what! That's what unconditional love is. Guess she didn't have true unconditional love the way she said she did. Right now I'm expecting the worse and hoping for the best. I'm preparing myself to hear that she's madly in love with this guy, is having his child, and they are getting married in two weeks! If I can come to accept that then there's no way I can hurt anymore. I know it will take time but eventually I'll be ok with whatever the outcome is because I HAVE to be ok with it.

[Chrome Barracuda]

The pain does goes away. Just live your life and focus on you.

 

She will try to come back in some fo eventually. but it usually happens after you move on. By then you wont give a flying F.

[bamaguy20]

2 weeks - you probably would

2 months - you might, but probably not

6 months - you'd tell her to f*ck off

 

You need time now. Lots of it with no contact with her at all. It will be hard the first few weeks, but in a couple of months clarity will begin to set in and you won't be lamenting what you lost - you'll be angry. In six months to a year you will think and rethink things, and realize that the girl you knew disappeared and was replaced with a lying, cheating stranger and you will mourn the loss of the girl you knew and be glad that you are rid of the girl she became.

 

 

BOOM.

 

The most perfect quote on this entire site.

 

So true in so many different ways. Happened to me, happened to a lot of people. The girl you USED to know......is long gone, probably forever. Sure, shes still "there" but the real girl....is long gone...you have this new girl now.....a ****tier version.....once you accept this you will move on....Read this guy/girls words above....and cement them in your mind..bc its the truth.

[chrisanderson]

BOOM.

 

The most perfect quote on this entire site.

 

So true in so many different ways. Happened to me, happened to a lot of people. The girl you USED to know......is long gone, probably forever. Sure, shes still "there" but the real girl....is long gone...you have this new girl now.....a ****tier version.....once you accept this you will move on....Read this guy/girls words above....and cement them in your mind..bc its the truth.

 

yes, I'm beginning to see that. My ex fiancé is such a different person now. She's someone I wouldn't even want a friendship with. Yes you are right. Time will heal my wounds. It has almost been two months and I can eat and sleep regularly now. However I have recently started dreaming that she came back. I'm at the "anger" stage now and am unsure if Id take her back if she returned. Funny how time changes things.