smoochie Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 Hi all, I have recently gotten back together with my ex-bf. We were together for a few months, he broke up with me back in the beginning of February. We would see each other once or twice a month in various hang out places, but in strict NC. In April, we had a heated text communication, talked and got all of the issues out. A few weeks later, we somehow end up making love at his place. We have been seeing each other every weekend since. We talk about every other day average and things are pretty good. He made the statement the other day..twice actually, “what is different with you from the last time we were together” I asked what did he mean and he said I was less tense, wasn’t pushing, more relaxed. I said is this a good thing and he said it is an excellent thing. Problem is from my perspective, nothing has changed. I am the same woman I was a few months ago. I gave him some answer about dealing with ex-ex bf issues but not really sure. He said that made sense to him, but didn’t really to me. In other words, I was just trying to come up with something. Question for the forum…is it his perception that is different? This time, I lead the relationship. I call him when I want to talk and he is always there to take my call and spend hours talking with me. If I text 9 times out of 10 he responds right away. He has called some but I never return his calls the same day…I will wait until the following day. He has taken me dancing and is taking me to a surprise place over the weekend. He has done sexual things to me that he never did before and are not really common to causal sex partners. He seems like he is highly interested in what is going on with me. He suggested we go to different restaurants and even made the statement about if I ever meet his mom. Meeting his folks has never been an issue with me so for him to even slightly, off hand mention it was kinda cool. I am not sure what he wants from me and I refuse to ask. Since he was the one to end it before, I will not ask him one question. Can someone help me understand this? Thanks in advance!!
t_veron Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 I don't know how bossy you were first time around but it sounds like you're letting him take the lead. Sounds like he's the type that needs that in a relationship so if you don't have control issues and this works for you just go with it. It will work out. However, don't forget that you also need to appreciate and reciprocate by doing nice things for him or taking him out on dates too. Maybe every 3rd or date you can return the gestures with something similar to his dates. WARNING: If you wait to call him the next day every time he will slowly start growing resentment for you just like you would him. DON'T PLAY GAMES! Guys are a little slower at picking queues up than women but we don't tolerate it any less.
Author smoochie Posted June 6, 2008 Author Posted June 6, 2008 Thanks. I appreciate the advice. And I think I will offer to take him to dinner or something next week or so. Maybe father's day weekend.
shanny Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 It could be that nothing is different, but he is just realizing that he gave up a good thing. He is probably very happy to have a second chance, which is great. I couldn't really tell from your post how strong your feelings are for him... if it's more of a casual thing for you or serious. But I would just enjoy the nice things that he is doing for you. Don't overanalyze how you changed or he changed... Just enjoy!
sweetbutcheeky Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 What stood out to me was that you sound more relaxed a he is picking up on that, maybe a little turned on by it too. (He has done sexual things to me that he never did before) I don't think he wants anything from you other than to keep being the way you have been. He is picking up on you letting him call you and not jumping on every call or txt he sends you right away, more laid back in general and it's affecting how he sees you, sees the relationship. You may not see that your any different but everyone changes but we don't see it cause we are with each other every day. But since you were apart he is seeing the difference in you now and seems to me that he is seeing more potential in the relationship. (different restaurants and meeting his mom)
xpaperxcutx Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I would say not to go into over analytical mode. I think that if you think there is potential in this, then see it as a new relationship, and not a continuance of what happened before. Sometimes new sparks fly and maybe this is what your ex is seeing.
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