shayna Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 It's been almost a year since we ended our 9 year long relationship and he still ends up in my dreams most days out of the week. Last night I dreamt that he was sleeping with someone (I found out by finding condoms in his garbage can- don't ask me why I was able to do this) and it hit me so hard and continues to now. I woke up and for a split second I was OK because I realized it was a dream. But now it's affecting me deeply as this will sooner or later come true if not already (the seeing someone else part anyway) and I know I'm still not stable enough to handle it when it happens. He's always on my mind (every hour of every day) so it's no wonder that I still dream of him but it's so depressing that I still obsess over us and how I'm so lonely and missing him. He will always be the "good one that got away"...Sigh.
motive2002 Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 I wish I could say something to bring you peace. This inner torment won't last forever though. It eases with time, and in your case it will probably take longer since you were together so long. In time you'll realize that there's more than just "one" and loneliness is something you have some control over. I was over one two-year relationship in only about a month, and then there was the other 5 month relationship that took 2 years to get over. The point is that you will eventually get over it, and no telling how much time it will take. It's different each time, but it's probably not your first, and definitely not your last. Take care.
borelandkaren Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 It's been almost a year since we ended our 9 year long relationship and he still ends up in my dreams most days out of the week. Last night I dreamt that he was sleeping with someone (I found out by finding condoms in his garbage can- don't ask me why I was able to do this) and it hit me so hard and continues to now. I woke up and for a split second I was OK because I realized it was a dream. But now it's affecting me deeply as this will sooner or later come true if not already (the seeing someone else part anyway) and I know I'm still not stable enough to handle it when it happens. He's always on my mind (every hour of every day) so it's no wonder that I still dream of him but it's so depressing that I still obsess over us and how I'm so lonely and missing him. He will always be the "good one that got away"...Sigh. Darl, that's a really long time to pine for someone. I know you were 2gether for 9 years so it will take time but have you gone and spoken to anyone about this? Maybe a counsellor can give you some strategies to move on. Have you got a good network of friends and family around you? You really need to start getting a bit of a handle on this because it would be terrible to think that you'll get stuck at the point that you're at now, for much longer. You say that he is the good one that got away, there are reasons for this and without knowing them, it is hard to advise. A bit more background (nothing you don't want us to know) would probably be more helpful in knowing how to help you, if we can.
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