JackhammerGemma Posted June 5, 2008 Posted June 5, 2008 For anyone who hasn't read my other threads, my bf broke up with me a week ago because I blew the whistle on him and the OW to her H for the 2nd time. He blames me for ruining the marriage even though it was his and her fault. I have stopped wondering if I am really to blame because I know I'm not. We have talked every day since the breakup, usually by text, a couple times by phone, and I have seen him once. He says he still wants to talk to me and over the weekend said he still wants to work things out. The last couple days I have felt totally confused by what he wants. Last week he told me to leave him alone (the break up), but now he wants to work things out. Today when i asked him for clarification on our status, he said it is up to me to decide if I want to wait or not. Wait for what? I said. Wait for him to get his sh*t together. If you ask me I think he's waiting to see if OW gets a divorce. If she does, chances are he will not want her anymore because she is going to be even more of a clingy, needy, persistent, whiny, demanding, hi maint. b*tch than she already is now. IMO the only reason their relationship works now is because she is married and he is (or was) taken. Neither had to deal with much BS on the regular. I have come to the conclusion that I can no longer pretend to have a monogamous relationship with this guy because I will not live a lie anymore when I'm the only monogamous one. For me we're either going to be Just Friends or Friends with Benefits, both of which have their pros and cons. I am willing to move on and start dating other guys. I still love this creep and I'd let him into my bed but I feel a bit stronger and I have no more expectation of loyalty. So even if I decide to "wait around" for him to fix himself...what am I waiting for? He's not going to be loyal to me, just a f*ck toy if anything. I really do enjoy his company so I guess it's hard to let go. No Contact is unthinkable at this point, though I'd consider limiting the contact. Is it possible to have that type of relationship with someone you just broke up with? Friends with occasional benefits and throw in the occasional I still love you? Bad idea, isn't it.
Exl Posted June 5, 2008 Posted June 5, 2008 TBH I think you should simply move on. You're giving it too much thought to what seems to be a potential hurtful situation... At the time it may seem to hold some of the pain back but in the long term you'll be thanking yourself for moving on. Don't look back!
D-Lish Posted June 5, 2008 Posted June 5, 2008 I don't know why you would even be talking to this guy, let alone think about waiting for him or giving him a second chance. Are you kidding me that you want him in your life? You have to develop some respect for yourself!
Crestfallen_KH Posted June 5, 2008 Posted June 5, 2008 Wow. Just, wow. Yes, it's a bad idea. I can't believe you would even consider talking to him let alone welcome him back into your bed. Seriously, if you do that, you are basically showing him that cheating on you was just fine, he didn't have repercussions, and you'll still lower yourself by sleeping with him. No one will respect you if you don't respect yourself first.
motive2002 Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 No one will respect you if you don't respect yourself first. Truer words have never been spoken. If you want an FWB, do it with someone you have no emotional ties to whatsoever. Even then it can still get mucky.
0hpenelope Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 FWB = too complicated. It's something that I think is not worth expending energy on. Someone's bound to get hurt the longer it progresses. Move on, move on along...
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