...My EX wrote me back even though I sent him a final good-bye E-Mail...

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

I sent my EX a good-bye E-Mail telling him not to talk to me anymore, write me, E-Mail me, etc. I told him it hurts my emotional well-being. This is what he wrote back:

 

"I read your e-mail the other day. I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not to write you. On the one hand, I want to respect your wishes and let you get on with life. But one thing bothers me. I know you said you think we could never be friends. That’s fair. You have every right to that opinion. I just want to say that if, in the future, you ever decide that we could be, don’t be shy about messaging me or calling me or anything. I won’t judge you, blame you, or hold it over you. I would very much like to be your friend someday, but if you never can, I will fully respect that. I just wanted to say that if you ever change your mind, I’ll be here and you shouldn’t feel weird about talking to me after this. I’ll always be here for you, if you’ll let me. And in case these are my final words to you… goodbye. I’ll miss you."

 

This was my original E-Mail to him:

 

""I know that I called you this evening and so this E-Mail may seem a bit strange, but I need to send it. I must tell you that I need to close this chapter in my life. I felt happy to talk to you this evening, but when I hung up the phone, I realized that it won't be possible for me to be friends with you. In order for me to fully carry on with my life and close this chapter, so to speak, I must do it completely. I appreciate the time that we spent together and I wish you all the best in your future but it's not possible for me to ever be friends with you. Emotionally, I am a person that must put everything completely to rest. It is not to be an offense to you; it is the way that I deal with my life and prepare for my future.

 

I am asking that you please bear this in mind and do not respond to this E-mail, write me messages on Facebook, or call me. I don't mean this to be harsh; it is something that must be done for me. I feel that it will take an emotional toll on me. I must continue to a new place. It will never be possible for me to be friends with you; this is the way I handle my life. I can't look back. Please respect my emotional well-being.

 

Best of luck to you and your future."

 

To be honest, I feel a little bit disrespected...

[Exl]

Hey B2B

Well, he did have the right to answer, in a way. And it was a mature answer. IMHO, he actually shown a lot of respect for you and your decision. You should feel good about it and thank him for giving you some closure, even if only by acknowledging and respecting your feelings.

 

Don't dwell on it!

[YoMamma]

B2B,

 

I thought it was a nice, mature way of letting you know that it is your choice whether or not you want to be friends with him in the future. I don't think it was a disrespectful letter imo. If he keeps sending them though, it might be Best of luck to you friend *hug*

[justaman99]

I don't think you should feel disrespected. I understand you stated for him not to respond but in all fairness here he has a right as a person to close this for himself as well. Just let it be now. Rest your mind and move on. The chapter is closed.

 

-Just

[Krytie TV]

Come on. By even writing a goodbye email, your intention had to be to hear a response from him, otherwise you wouldn't have written it. Why is it OK for you to write a final email but not him? If you truly wanted to say goodbye, you would have said nothing at all.

[Crestfallen_KH]

I understand why you feel that way, but communication is a two-way street. You don't get to make all the rules.

 

Evidently he felt that he had some final words to say, too. And he has as much of a right to say them as you do.

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

Well, you know what...I'm just having a really bad night. I know that it wasn't completely disrespectful, okay? I'm just annoyed and hurt and I can't stop crying. Okay??

[Enema]

I don't know about the rest of these guys, but I accept your apology.

[Crestfallen_KH]

I'm sorry if my post upset you, B2B - I hate that I can't convey tone.

 

I was in the exact same situation that you were. I wrote a goodbye e-mail to my ex-husband and he responded, against my wishes. He said nice things, cleared up some incorrect assumptions (that actually were better than what I had originally assumed), and wished me well. And it just made me bawl and bawl.

 

I understand how you feel, I really do. And I'm sorry you're hurting.

[Template]

Hey B2B,

He could have gone in 3 distinct directions: not communicate at all, reply maliciously, and reply the way he did. (I tried to end things in a civilized manner, and I got a "**** off, leave me alone" response) You are in a very emotional state, and I don't think you should apoligize for feeling the way you did. However, to expecting not to ever hear from him is a longshot. I think he also had to end it on his end, and did it with class and humility. Who knows what the future brings, but many of us can agree that this is a great ending, and you should just look at it as such.

 

-template

[Gawdess]

I wouldn't have written such an overblown, dramatic email. It just shows you're still hooked on him (and kind of immature - sorry.) The best way to go about it is total silence.

People go on NC...well, they ANNOUNCE that they are going on NC and then that ruins it. Don't write a dramatic immature email saying 'i can't handle it, don't ever contact me in anyway.' it just doesn't sound adult.

Just don't contact him! AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

[serendip]

I don't think it was disrespectful at all of your ex to reply in that way.

 

From what I read, he has been doing NC and you decided to contact him to tell him you didn't want contact(basically looking for a reaction) which is bizarre in itself.

 

But what I think you were hoping for by sending a "goodbye forever email"...was for him to beg and want you back..

 

instead he sent you ...'whatever...it's cool with me...take it easy if you can't be friends' type of response.

[borelandkaren]

I think it's all becoming as funny as ****! It's like "who gets the last word!?" You may just have to block his emails and go straight to NC!! Sorry, my sense of humour gets the better of me!!!:lmao:

[Nevermind]

You gave him a farewell, it is only fair that he can have a farewell himself. His words were not disrespectful. If you truly were offended by it, you wouldn't have read it. You would have deleted it.

 

You're hurt, and this is okay. But try to be objective. He simply stated that he would respect your wish (from now on) and hopes you'll contact him one day.

[roghornio]

Don’t see anything wronge with his response… going by your email it sounded like you were trying to provoke a response!

[jon01]

To add to the other responses, I don't think you want to "end the chapter" right now anyway. Look, here is an easy way to get over him.. just get another boyfriend and fall in love you big crybaby! Sorry I don't mean to be insensitive, I'm just trying to make you laugh a little. I am distraught over my wife leaving me and not wanting to get back with me too. I can't quite seem to get over her, but the only reason I am not looking for a new gf or someone to take my mind off her is because I am trying to respect my marriage and stay single until a divorce is finalized. Otherwise, if I hooked up with a new lady it will definitely help me to cope and get over her (not using the lady for this, I mean a genuine new relationship too).

[justine4]

Theres no reason to feel disrespected. That email was a very curteous and 'grown-up' response to your original email.

 

So many people on here would love to have had heard words like that from their ex.

 

If you don't want to hear anymore from him, best not to respond to his email, or for that matter, any further contact if he tries.

[9Lives]

i dont think you really dont want to hear from him. I think you are hurt and you want time to get over it and maybe then you will want his friendship. Right now, that is just impossible. Too many emotions unfortunately.