LoveLace Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 There is this guy in my circle of friends that I've seen a lot lately, because my friends and I gather at his house often for bbq'ing and what not, just a place to hang out. One day he and I sat outside, just the two of us, talking for a couple hours. I wasn't sure if I thought he was all that attractive, but nice and funny. He has a good job and works really hard on his house - he has a roommate that is also a friend of ours, a guy our age. Anyway, I started sensing that we liked each other. And there was some suggestive, playful flirting going on between us. The other night, he was saying good night to go to bed, and we made some joke about me going to his room to wake him up...but it was clear that neither of us were really joking...I decided to just go for it and have some fun, because I haven't been intimate with anyone in a while now. It was good and fun and all that; we both admitted we had been wanting it all along. He had to wake early for work the next morning, but he let me stay in his bed and sleep. When I got up to leave later, I realized we didn't even have each other's phone numbers, and I thought it might look bad to leave without at least leaving a note or something...so I just left a piece of paper by his bed with my phone number. 2 days later he called, and I told him thanks for letting me stay and he said that he had fun...then he went on to tell me about work stuff, etc., and I was out with some friends at the time. I enjoyed talking with him, but I didn't want to be rude to my friends I was with, so I had to think of a way to politely end the conversation...and finally I was able to say "best of luck with that - I gotta go but I'm sure we'll talk soon or see each other around"...he agreed and we said bye. I will likely see him a lot this summer because I'm sure my friends and I will go over there again. I don't know when that will happen next, but I'm not sure how I should act when I see him again, because I'm not sure if he called out of obligation or because we now have something going. I just don't want to walk into an awkward situation next time I'm at his house. Should I call him in the mean time and just ask him? Or, should I just keep playing everything by ear the way we have been the last few weeks?
JohnnyBlaze Posted June 5, 2008 Posted June 5, 2008 I was able to say "best of luck with that - I gotta go but I'm sure we'll talk soon or see each other around" Don't know where you want it to go, but that line is almost as good as saying "I like you, but...". He just got demoted to the Friend Ladder, and he heard it loud and clear. I'd just play it by ear and see how he reacts. If he continues normally, he's accepted it and that's that. If he brings his A-game, then you'll know he's trying to leap back onto the Real Ladder. You just have to decide which one you want him on. As to the call, it probably wasn't out of the obligation you think it was. If that was the case, he'd probably have just mentioned something quietly to you the next time he saw you. Guys are only obliged to call a girl after a night if either a) he wants to see her again, or b) she's a friend and he knows he won't see her again for a while. Since you've been seeing him around a lot lately, that negates option B. So now we know what we're left with.
Author LoveLace Posted June 5, 2008 Author Posted June 5, 2008 Don't know where you want it to go, but that line is almost as good as saying "I like you, but...". He just got demoted to the Friend Ladder, and he heard it loud and clear. I'd just play it by ear and see how he reacts. If he continues normally, he's accepted it and that's that. If he brings his A-game, then you'll know he's trying to leap back onto the Real Ladder. You just have to decide which one you want him on. As to the call, it probably wasn't out of the obligation you think it was. If that was the case, he'd probably have just mentioned something quietly to you the next time he saw you. Guys are only obliged to call a girl after a night if either a) he wants to see her again, or b) she's a friend and he knows he won't see her again for a while. Since you've been seeing him around a lot lately, that negates option B. So now we know what we're left with. Thanks. I didn't intentionally want to demote him to the "friend ladder"..I was trying to be polite in a way that suggested we will talk again, without sounding pushy for more. He did say that he was feeling pretty bad with a cold (which was obvious in the way he sounded), so I thought about calling him tomorrow to see if he's feeling better, or something to let him know I'm open to trying more than friends? He seems like a straight-forward enough of a guy, I would imagine it would be sensible to just come out and ask about it too? Also, I figured he must have wanted me to have his number also, because it's in my phone now that he's called?
JohnnyBlaze Posted June 5, 2008 Posted June 5, 2008 Admittedly, I'm not up on electronic protocol; I have no idea if calling someone is the same as giving them your number anymore. May as well take it as such, though. No point in letting a good opportunity go to waste over some unwritten 'rule'! Definitely call him; or better yet, go over to his place to see how he's doing. Nothing makes a guy feel more special than having a pretty girl come visit him when he's sick. He may grumble about you seeing him when he's not at his best, but inside, he knows better. Any girl can see a guy at his best; only the good ones are eager to see him when he's at his worst. You seem pretty confident that he'll be able to have a straight up talk, so go for it...once he's feeling better, of course.
Author LoveLace Posted June 5, 2008 Author Posted June 5, 2008 I'll just call him...If I think of visiting a guy when he's sick I think of someone I've established a relationship with, which hasn't happened with him...so I'll just go with a phone call for now...thank you again!
Author LoveLace Posted June 6, 2008 Author Posted June 6, 2008 Well I haven't called him, but today he texted me because he went to this place for lunch that he and I apparently talked about once before...I vaguely remember that conversation but anyway I didn't get the text for like 45 min. because I was at work. So I called him and we chatted some. He said he still feels pretty bad and he's going to a Dr's appt. today to get med. I asked if he wanted me to bring him soup later, but he chuckled and said no because he will probably just go home and go to bed. I asked what he was doing this weekend in general, and he has plans (so do I). But at one point he mentioned he's "supposed to do something with his friend Gina" and go to a graduation party, but (I guess because he's sick?) he said he will probably cancel on her and just go to the grad. party instead. I don't know who Gina is or the nature of the relationship; I don't know what I'm supposed to assume about that. I didn't ask any questions. Then he went on to tell me about a baseball game he went to the other day (he's a talker!) and again, I felt hurried because I was at lunch and needed to get back to work, but I didn't know how to interrupt and say that! However I ended up losing my signal anyway, then texted him sorry and I hope he feels better soon. He just said thanks. So he didn't mention any ideas to hang out again, but he's initiating conversation; so I'm thinking its best to just lay back and see what happens..I am curious about the Gina thing, but I won't lose sleep over it. I have guy friends myself, heck he's one of them! So I guess I don't have a right to dig on him for info about him and other girl "friends". What do ya think..
Nightsky Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 In the past when I start getting into a relationship with a girl and I notice something like a guy named Gino in her number one Myspace spot. I’ll usually try to sound playful and ask if I should be jealous of that Gino guy in her number one Myspace spot, and hopefully they say it’s just their cousin or something else non threatening.
Author LoveLace Posted June 7, 2008 Author Posted June 7, 2008 Ha good idea nightsky! I am going to remember that next time I'm in a similar situation...
Mary3 Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 LoveLace . I'm not trying to make you feel bad but it basically sounds like that night of sex was fun for him but I am not reading anything further to him than it was good sex . You don't want to have sex with a guy and then say " Hey I know we had sex last night but I sure would like something more " It does not work like that for guys. He does not sound interested in you as someone he would want to have a relationship. Now however , its been known to happen but rare that you sleep with a guy and then talk relationship . I suggest you let this go into the light zone. Don't talk to him about * it * or what happened or what you want for the future. If by chance , he is really diggin on you and wants something , let him initiate it. I just don't see it though with the one night of sex.
Author LoveLace Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 Well, Mary, he called me last night and we talked on the phone for over an hour. So far, we've either talked or texted every day since spending the night together, and he's initiated every time. It's mostly been small talk, but last night he said that "it was a nice surprise, and we should do that again sometime, I liked that..."..referring to the night I joined him in his bed...I said I liked it too, and he said, that's good. The rest of the conversation was about mutual friends, silly things we did growing up, etc., ...with the exception of today, I called him to see how he is feeling because he's been sick...that's the 1st time I've initiated a call to him. I told him we'll hang out again when he's feeling better (he also has pink eye! ew!)...anyway, I don't necessarily know what it all means or what it's going to lead to, nor do I have any specific hopes about it, but I do enjoy having a guy call me everyday...that's a new one for me...
Author LoveLace Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 Wow, he just texted me, I went to a concert tonight which he knew about, "I hope you had fun and made it home safe...I will call you tomorrow"... Again, nice change after just having a guy that could have cared less if I had fun, much less if I got home safe...
Mary3 Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 :)You are a beautiful girl. Rightly so that alot of men would be attracted to you. He could be doing the mating dance you know. He may be wanting some more sex and play. Then again , he may put his hand up and say " No more sex baby, until we get to know eachother because I think you are special " What are the odds ?
Author LoveLace Posted June 10, 2008 Author Posted June 10, 2008 :)You are a beautiful girl. Rightly so that alot of men would be attracted to you. He could be doing the mating dance you know. He may be wanting some more sex and play. Then again , he may put his hand up and say " No more sex baby, until we get to know eachother because I think you are special " What are the odds ? Aw well thanks for the compliment but if you are talking about the avatar that is not me, it's a TV star! he he. Well we talked again today for a little while. But he hasn't been pushing for hanging out. He mentioned it that one time, otherwise it's just been a lot of b.s.'ing and a little flirting on the phone, which is cool I've been enjoying that. He's never said come over tonight or anything of that nature...it could be he just wants to get to know me better, nothing wrong with that. I do know about Gina though, I had just forgotten before..he told me about her while I was at his house one day, because I mentioned something about a past relationship, and he compared it to the one he has had with Gina. They've been "friends" for many years, and she apparently has another man in her life right now, so I guess it's one of those struggles with friendships that are a little more than that sometimes...I don't know for sure. I know he's had girlfriends or whatever, but he doesn't seem to be the womanizing type..he seems to be a pretty straight forward, laid back dude. But I actually have a date tomorrow with a new guy I met recently, should I feel guilty about that? I don't, really...
Mary3 Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 Aw well thanks for the compliment but if you are talking about the avatar that is not me, it's a TV star! he he. Well we talked again today for a little while. But he hasn't been pushing for hanging out. He mentioned it that one time, otherwise it's just been a lot of b.s.'ing and a little flirting on the phone, which is cool I've been enjoying that. He's never said come over tonight or anything of that nature...it could be he just wants to get to know me better, nothing wrong with that. I do know about Gina though, I had just forgotten before..he told me about her while I was at his house one day, because I mentioned something about a past relationship, and he compared it to the one he has had with Gina. They've been "friends" for many years, and she apparently has another man in her life right now, so I guess it's one of those struggles with friendships that are a little more than that sometimes...I don't know for sure. I know he's had girlfriends or whatever, but he doesn't seem to be the womanizing type..he seems to be a pretty straight forward, laid back dude. But I actually have a date tomorrow with a new guy I met recently, should I feel guilty about that? I don't, really... Absolutely you should go on the new date with the guy tomorrow night. What I want you to see is this in his mind ( the guy you slept with ) This is probrobly going on :" Wow I slept with LL , it was nice " Is there anything further than that ? Well for one , you talk about Gina . I don't know how important Gina is to him. I would not be available to this guy because if he really dug you he might say " That was amazing last night , I think we rushed it but I would like to see you again , lets go to dinner " If he's hemming and hawwing and not coming forward ( guys know that when we sleep with them we hope they have some feelings ) so I would go on with your life. If you ever feel like someone is special enough to be in a relationship with please don't sleep with them until you get to know him better.
Author LoveLace Posted June 11, 2008 Author Posted June 11, 2008 I did go out on the date, had a wonderful time, and Guy X called me while I was on the date...couldn't answer, and never had time to call back. He he. I like this game.
JohnnyBlaze Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 Way to go! Doesn't it feel good to have not one, but two people vying for you? Aw well thanks for the compliment but if you are talking about the avatar that is not me, it's a TV star! he he. Is that Alyssa Milano? It sure looks like her. Our little Samantha Micelli sure has grown up, hasn't she?
Mary3 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 I'm so happy you went on the date ! I hope you and the new guy get along great. Post all the delicious details , lol !
Author LoveLace Posted June 11, 2008 Author Posted June 11, 2008 Yes Johnny Alyssa Milano...my idol since i was like 8! Isn't she gorgeous! New Guy was very sweet and we had a very fun time. He's a little younger (27) which is no big deal but it is different from dating the older men I've dated lately (like Guy X) that are closer to 40. I don't know if I think one is better than the other necessarily. New Guy texted me this morning and said he had a very fun time. Guy X also called me today and this time I answered but he didn't ask what I was doing last night or anything, so I didn't tell! New Guy was a total gentleman and he had this young innocent thing about him but he was cool. He was just being himself and didn't have this macho attitude, though he could easily be conceited for a guy as hot as he is! He said that I am a "fun chick"...I'm rooting for this one, I like Guy X but not as attracted.
Mary3 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 Yes Johnny Alyssa Milano...my idol since i was like 8! Isn't she gorgeous! New Guy was very sweet and we had a very fun time. He's a little younger (27) which is no big deal but it is different from dating the older men I've dated lately (like Guy X) that are closer to 40. I don't know if I think one is better than the other necessarily. New Guy texted me this morning and said he had a very fun time. Guy X also called me today and this time I answered but he didn't ask what I was doing last night or anything, so I didn't tell! New Guy was a total gentleman and he had this young innocent thing about him but he was cool. He was just being himself and didn't have this macho attitude, though he could easily be conceited for a guy as hot as he is! He said that I am a "fun chick"...I'm rooting for this one, I like Guy X but not as attracted. Go with New Guy ! Forget Guy X , I think he just wanted to you ~know~ what ~....
Author LoveLace Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 Go with New Guy ! Forget Guy X , I think he just wanted to you ~know~ what ~.... Well all Guy X is doing is calling a lot to talk (daily), no plans to see each other anytime soon so I don't see harm in that. But after meeting New guy, my general attraction is more geared towards him now. Plus, we haven't discussed when we will hang out again yet so I'd say too early to think I'm in a situation where I should choose between the two...or even either of them, possibly. But I am for sure excited about new guy! With X it's just been a whole lot of phone talk which is fine but it also feels like getting nowhere fast and it's starting to bore me... Maybe i'll end up having a thread called, "How do I choose?!"...ha ha..nah!
Mary3 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Well all Guy X is doing is calling a lot to talk (daily), no plans to see each other anytime soon so I don't see harm in that. But after meeting New guy, my general attraction is more geared towards him now. Plus, we haven't discussed when we will hang out again yet so I'd say too early to think I'm in a situation where I should choose between the two...or even either of them, possibly. But I am for sure excited about new guy! With X it's just been a whole lot of phone talk which is fine but it also feels like getting nowhere fast and it's starting to bore me... Maybe i'll end up having a thread called, "How do I choose?!"...ha ha..nah! Glad you found someone more interesting
Author LoveLace Posted June 14, 2008 Author Posted June 14, 2008 So the subject of this thread has continued to call every day for the last 2 weeks but he's been sick/working and our schedules just haven't seemed to mesh for hanging out. But still, he's had all that time to ask about doing something in the future. I worked last night and I came home and got comfy by the tv. At 10, he texted me, "me and bud are at bar, bring friend and meet us"...I'm guessing a friend was for Bud. But I only have 1 single girlfriend really, and they already know her. Anyway, I thought about going but it was already 10, and I was cozy at home. So I texted him that and added that I have school stuff to do today (which is true) that I don't like to be too tired for. Later I was on the phone with another friend when he called and left me a voice mail "Wake up lazy A$$!! Come on!"..... I am not happy with this. He's the smart mouth, joking type, it's his sense of humor, but I still didn't like this one bit. It's a bad idea to disrespect what I choose to do. Tell me if I'm over-reacting.... He knew I had to work last night so that's why he waited late to text me, but still at the last minute I shouldn't be expected to hop up and run to you... Am I right or wrong? I wonder if he just senses my interest has faded, because I think if it was a guy I was truly into, I would have went without question...
Mary3 Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 That is called extremely disrespectful late night attempt at booty call. "I know he was at a bar but anything late night always leads to : I hope I get you drunk enough to get you back to your place for some more sex , I don't think you are worth a nice dinner or taking the time in this week to spend some of it with you but rather trying to find an easy way to get you out of the house and hopefully into the bed " Thats what his call really meant... NEXT ! Well the new guy sounds promising. Just remember take it slow and let him COURT and date you...
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