Sweetpea671 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 My fiance and I have been together a year and a half and have broken up 2 other times for a week each time. His company sends him to "fix" another store in another town and he gets way stressed out and runs himself ragged. The 2 times the company has sent him to these other stores are the 2 times we have broken up. (I know for a fact it is not another women) NOW, for the 3rd time a few weeks ago he had to take on another store and guess what.....I got a call last Thursday telling me that he just can't do it anymore, there are a few things I do that he isn't sure how to deal with, and we were through. I returned home from work that evening at 5pm and everything he owned was gone! WOW was I shocked. This is a man who has never lied to me, tells me at all times who he is with or talking to, we consider each other best friends, has high moral values, he has a degree in youth ministrey, his father is a preacher, this is the first man in my life that I trust 99%...How did he possibly keep the secret that he had made plans to have his family drive 2 hours to help move him out. He found a storage shed and had already talked to his boss about a position in the city. Last night he drove an hour to see me and told me how much he missed me and that maybe he had made a mistake. I mentioned how each time we break-up relates to the extreme rise in pressure and stress he feels from work, and he agreed. What do I do? With him being as religious as he is our engagement was not actually "official" because he did not ask my dad's permission to marry me so...I told him if he expected me to just pack up and move away from everything I know to just be dumped when he gets stressed he better think again. I want commitment! I know he is really the one for me but sometimes I have those feelings of what if... Any advice will help.
mark982 Posted June 5, 2008 Posted June 5, 2008 he's either gonna have to get a less stressful job,so he quits using you for a whipping post. or you're going to have to go on to new pastures.
sedgwick Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 How do you know it's not another woman? It does sound fishy...
carrie3107 Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 Hi hon r u ok?? My ex-partner did exactly the same thing to me. I walked in and everything that he owned had gone. Which was a total shock. So i know what you are going through. I put it down to stress, we've talked a couple of times but things will never be the same!
sedgwick Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 I actually did this to the first guy I lived with -- cleaned my stuff out while he was gone and moved in with a friend. But it was because I found out he was lying to me big time about a lot of really important things. It made me wonder what he would do to me if I told him I was leaving, so I had a friend come over and help me get out of there. Fearing for your safety is a legitimate reason to haul ass. Other than that it's a shi*ty thing to do.
Author Sweetpea671 Posted June 6, 2008 Author Posted June 6, 2008 He is a very honest person and I know where he is at all times. We are best friends and talk on the phone like 3 or 4 times a day. Even now that he has moved out, he calls me at least 1 or 2 times a day to tell me he loves me and to say hi. The relationship has never gotten old or boring it has always been in "honeymoon" stage. He has been married 2 other times so I think he is running scared. I'm so confused.
Author Sweetpea671 Posted June 6, 2008 Author Posted June 6, 2008 Now that I look back I see that he was acting a little strange but he was sleeping a lot too. It was more of a shock that he could keep a secret for over a week from me. Anytime an ex-gf even called or text him, he told me, we are both very open with each other.
Author Sweetpea671 Posted June 6, 2008 Author Posted June 6, 2008 Hi hon r u ok?? My ex-partner did exactly the same thing to me. I walked in and everything that he owned had gone. Which was a total shock. So i know what you are going through. I put it down to stress, we've talked a couple of times but things will never be the same! I'm having to take a few more ativan than normal but I'm ok for now. Now the problem is do I stay in my home town, the job where I am advancing, and with all my friends? I told him I would not leave everything here unless he was willing to seek pre-marital counseling and then marry me....and then I will move in with him.
Author Sweetpea671 Posted June 6, 2008 Author Posted June 6, 2008 he's either gonna have to get a less stressful job,so he quits using you for a whipping post. or you're going to have to go on to new pastures. He loves his job and is up for a big promotion so he really wants to stick with it. The company (I think) uses him a little, he should have been promoted a long time ago but was passed up. I really think that he doesn't realize the stress he is under and is just use to it, he is constantly on the go.
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