jayar78 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 so last year at a work function, a lady caught my eye she was with a date at the time so I did not pursue anything but we definitely made eye contact and the word got back to her that I was interested. We live 2.5 hrs from each other so never bumped in to each other til the next work function. where we talked and so on. It was very casual but I got the point across that I was interested. she was playing a little hard but I could tell she liked me. we all had drinks so I was a little intoxicated and so was she, but she said things like you would be so cute if you weren't so crazy and such. Her opinion of me is a player or a conceited pretty boy, I didn't mind because I knew if given the chance she could see that I was very genuine so after the 3 day event, I emailed her and said I wasnt done getting to know her. I need to mention that I came off very bold with my approach. I tell her that I want to get to know her better gave her my number and told her she can do with it as she wishes she called the same night since then we have talked everyday and sometimes several times a day, she often calls me and I will text her occassionally, I am not clingy at all and I do not call that often it is very mutual. after a few days she said, she had to admit that I am a lot cooler than she thought and that the more we talk the cuter I am becoming. She would call at night she would send texts that say hey sexy and things like that. so all is good, my only problem is that she lives 2.5 hrs away. I asked when we were gonna get together over text and she said when did I want to I suggested the following weekend, and she said she was gonna be on a boating trip, I hinted at getting together once before and she kinda didn't respond to it. So Im kinda tired of asking her but I don't want to keep on talking everday if it is going nowhere and I will never be able to see her. am I going about this the right way, I would imagine she likes me since she calls me every day we talk for over an hour at a time, she said she likes me so I don't know whats up. maybe she scared im a player and just wants to get more comfortable before we meet or maybe she's not that interested what do you guys think
Geishawhelk Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Ask her to name a fixed date, and whatever you have to cancel to be there, cancel it! If however, she still seems reluctant, tell her, "OK, I've tried to make a date with you, and you've not been able to make it, that's fine. Now I ask you to name a date, and you seem kinda reluctant. So tell me straight - do you want this to go anywhere, or shall we just shelve it and put it down to a nice experience?" That way, you're firmly putting the ball in her court, but not being a jerk about it.... Just my female insight POV.... Good luck!
icess64 Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 I would definitely ask her if there is a reason she doesn't want to meet with you. It certainly seems as though she's interested but her reservations are holding her back. Knowing what those reservations are would be instrumental in determining your next move. So my next question is: Are you a player? If you aren't, why did she think so?Don't go out of your way to convince her otherwise if you're going to turn around and ditch her after the thrill of the chase is over. If you are genuine though, it will come through and if she's truly interested in making something more out of it, she will eventually come around. I know if it were me, I'd have reservations about getting involved with someone who lives far away (even just 2.5 hours). Maybe it's that. You might as well just ask her though, all the speculation in the world isn't going to solve the problem.
mortensorchid Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 If you're going to do a long distance thing, it's important that the MAN make the first move to over to come see her. That way she knows he's at least interested or serious enough to pursue her. That you've done. But I think now you should ask her for a specific time / place that you can come see her. If she waffles, or is conveniently "busy" everytime you suggest, then she's not interested. A reason? She could have all kinds of reasons, but whatever they are she's telling you she's not interested. It's not a reflection on you, she's just not interested.
shanny Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Two and half hours isn't too bad. That wouldn't freak me out with a guy. It would actually be kinda cool because you could still see each other often yet not be around each other day in and day out... Kinda keeps the spark going a little longer. My guess would be that she is nervous because she thinks you're a player. I don't know why she thinks that... I don't know if you are. Maybe just reassure her a little more that your intentions are genuine. Are you sure she is not seeing someone else? It's hard to believe that her social calendar is so busy that she can't squeeze you in somewhere. She may be interested but attached. There are a lot of possible scenarios... so I agree with the other posters that you should just flat out ask her. Stay calm and cool, not like you are upset or expecting something. She should appreciate your honesty and tell you what's really going on. Good luck!
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