foxh1234 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Hi everyone, as some of you probably know, I was dumped after being cheated on about 2.5 months ago. I have been reading and listening to alot of advice from great people on this site and I also have been helped a ton by friends and family. It has been over 5 weeks of total nc and up until this week I was moving along very well. For some strange reason, this week I feel like we just broke up and I just found out she was screwing around behind my back. This has thrown me for a loop and I don't know where this has come from. I have not heard from her or heard any news about her. I am doing all of the stuff that I have been doing, staying busy, exercise, reading, but it is not working. I also have started dreaming of her again. Any opinions or advice, did I do something wrong ? I am really at a loss as I felt like I was doing so well. Any words will help, thanks folks.
serendip Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 It recycles dude My ex cheated on me...I broke up with her...then for some insane reason I wanted her back at the beginning b/c I was in shock. It's been a year....I still have bad days but they are far and few between. It gets better...your emotions are still raw at 2.5 months....but according to some LS posters...you will always feel the sting from being cheated on.
KittenMoon Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Above poster is right- it recycles. I've been broken up for well over TWO years now, and yet last night I ended up crying and sobbing in bed over missing my relationship. But I also know it'll pass, and it's been a long time since the last time I felt like that. Mostly I feel ok now. Sometimes it just comes on when we're feeling vulnerable (or PMSing like me), or over tired or just whenever. At 2.5 months, you're still really close to it. Take heart, it will pass, and eventually become less frequent.
sunshinegirl Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Crap, I'm having the exact same experience. Been doing okay, been able to focus on why he's all wrong for me...but this afternoon I am crashing, hard. Missing him, obsessing over him being with the office hooch, anxious, nauseous, tunnel vision. It's been a month since the breakup and 2 weeks since D-Day of his cheating. We were together over a year. I feel like publicizing to EVERYONE in his life what a jerk he was. Big ole mass email to his parents, his friends, his colleagues at work. Obviously I won't. But I hate, hate, hate the thought that he is happy and unbothered and I am drowning in a puddle of sadness and anger.
Author foxh1234 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 Thanks for the responses so far. I am glad I'm not going crazy and this sounds like it is normal. Man what a rollercoaster ride, lol. I thought I had it licked last week, I was professing that I was over it. Boy was I wrong, lol. I will just keep on keeping on and hopefully this is just a slight bump in my road to recovery.
Author foxh1234 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 PS- we were also together for 8 years so maybe 2.5 months is not that long to feel like s**t.
KittenMoon Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Holy crap, NO! After 8 years, 2.5 months is NOTHING. Literally, just enough time for things to set in. Don't be surprised if you have bad days in the coming months, maybe even years (not to scare you!). Just let yourself feel, work through it, etc.
Author foxh1234 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 Holy crap, NO! After 8 years, 2.5 months is NOTHING. Literally, just enough time for things to set in. Don't be surprised if you have bad days in the coming months, maybe even years (not to scare you!). Just let yourself feel, work through it, etc. It better not take years, lol. I cannot feel like this for years. I can survive months but years, man o man, lol. :laugh:
KittenMoon Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 It better not take years, lol. I cannot feel like this for years. I can survive months but years, man o man, lol. :laugh: It won't stay as bad for years, don't worry. After years it can still be there, but like way further back in the closet than it was, if you get my meaning.
LikeCharlotte Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Grieving happens in cycles fox and if you were feeling better than this cycle will likley be shorter and easier. You now have most of the coping tools you need to get through the hard parts. Its pretty generic advice, but let it happen. I'm lucky to have not really gone to far backward in my cycling. I think you will find that this little regression will be gone in no time. You really are still moving forward.
Author foxh1234 Posted June 5, 2008 Author Posted June 5, 2008 Thanks LC I feel better tonight. Tomorrow will be good again, I can feel it.
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