Paralyzed Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 I have posted here previously about my relationship with my girlfriend and her inconsistent behavior. We have been off and on the last few weeks, talking about things and trying to make it work. I went to a costume party on Saturday night, while she went out with her girlfriends. I had my phone plugged in to charge it at the party. She phoned and one of the girls answered it. I didn't find out until later. When I met my girlfriend at a club later that night, she was alone with several other guys. She was hanging off them and carrying on. I found it strange that she would stay at a pub after all of her girlfriends had left. She was extremely drunk, and seemed angry. When we left she began to get mean. She was upset that a girl had answered my phone, and according to her was a "bitch" to her. She verbally abused me in the middle of the street for about 10 minutes. I lost my cool and walked away. She called me asked me to come back and I did. We were going to share a cab, when she started to berate me again as we walked. She said we were too different, and that my friends we "whores" (sorry for the language). I walked away and she did too. I hopped in a cab myself and went home. She called shortly after and I was in bed. She was back at the bar, and I could hear all the men in the background talking to her. She started to curse at me again and I hung up. She phoned again from a cab and asked me where I was. I told her I was in bed. She got upset because "I left her". She then asked if I was coming over to her place. I said no. She phoned again when she got home, and began telling me off once more. I told her to call me when she was sober the next day. I eventually hung up after several minutes of abuse from her. She phoned once more and I didn't answer. The next day I noticed that she had emailed me on facebook "we are un-fixable. goodbye". I didn't contact her the next day and that night she emailed again with "I'm sorry". I wrote back that I was sorry too. I haven't heard from her since. If you read my previous post you know what kind of person I am dealing with. I know I shouldn't miss her, but I do. It is very difficult not calling. I know if I do, it will be a great opportunity for her to reject me, like she has done so many times. I would at least love the opportunity to let her know how insane she acted, and that she probably has a drinking problem. In a way I want to get her help, but, maybe she doesn't really have a mental problem. Does anyone have any advice???
pandagirl Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Your ex sound like a bit of a drama queen. The ultimate way to get to her is just to give her the silent treatment. Believe me, it will bother her more than if you call up up and tell her how crazy she is, that will just feed her ego and need for drama/attention.
Author Paralyzed Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 One of the amazing things is during the last phone call she said "I am 31, I'm too old for all of this drama. I don't need it". I guess I found it funny since she is the one that caused it all. I was willing to wait until the booze wore off to talk if she had wanted to talk about her anger. It was all very innocent. She knew where I was that night, and who I was with. It wasn't all girls, there was a house full of people. And I couldn't help that some moron answered my phone while I was out having a smoke.
Author Paralyzed Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 How is she a lot like you? Please explain.......
Sunshine4408 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 I know for a fact that the reason why I had been inconsistent was that I was too afraid of getting hurt and won't settle for anything less than perfect. One minute i would be talking about getting married and having babies with my now ex, and next would try to break up with him over petty little things. maybe she cares too much that she loses her cool, that would explain why she would break up with you and say sorry the next day. I think I know that kind of people because I am one of them.
Author Paralyzed Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 Well, can you give me some advice as to how I am supposed to deal with her?
Sunshine4408 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 I dont know. It's not like my ex-boyfriend didnt try. He tried to understand me and would talk to me for hours til i felt sure about the relationship again. I remember one time he had to stay on the phone with me for something like 12 hours to get me to agree that i would never break up with him again over the same things. but then again i never really got over the old issues, so i decided that i was going to break up with him again two days later. he constantly felt like his effort was wasted coz i always end up doing the same thing. she broke up with you coz she took the easy way out to only find out that she missed you so much so she said sorry hoping that you would ask to get back together with her. if the two of you do end up breaking up, maybe you should continue to be her friend and show her your support. she will eventually learn that you are real to her. it takes a lot of patience and endless love to deal with girls like her and me. If you arent sure she is The One, you are better off to leave it as it.
justaman99 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 She needs to get her emotions in check. Yelling at you and berating you in public is immature and disrespectful to you. She probably does this because she's hurt so she feels better when she hurts you. It's not a healthy way to live and treat people. The constant calls and are you coming over after such behavior is puzzling. I think you need to stay away from her for now. Have you ever tried to talk to her about how she treats you and talks to you? -Just
Author Paralyzed Posted June 6, 2008 Author Posted June 6, 2008 Everytime we get back together I tell her about how mean she was to me. She acts really sorry and says she wants to start fresh. In some cases, she claims she doesn't remember saying this or that.
borelandkaren Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 Everytime we get back together I tell her about how mean she was to me. She acts really sorry and says she wants to start fresh. In some cases, she claims she doesn't remember saying this or that. She sounds a bit narcissistic to me. These are all red flag behaviours. Personally, I'd be making some really clear decisions in my life at this point. If not, this will go on and on. It is easier to nip it in the bud now. I know how much this can hurt but better now than in 2 years time when you are even more involved. Take care of yourself.
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