mr_han Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Just got dumped by my fiancee. I am hitting rock bottom. I find it hard to move on knowing that I worked hard for the relationship. I was preparing for our marriage until she said that it's over. She said that I wasn't giving her much attention and that she was worried of possible problems if we continue our marriage plans. Better stop at early stage than sorry later. Very painful.
sinkerswim Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Im so sorry to hear that.. I really really feel for you. I was in a relationship for 8.5 years and my fiance dumped me out of the blue..but that was 4 years ago. I used to come on here ALL THE TIME..and boy it helped. I can tell you from experience that time heals..I swear it does. Now..Im in another relationship (going on year 3) and Just moved in with him from out of state. He promised me marriage for 2.5 years...he treated me like gold..I am not kidding...so different than my ex. Now we've been living together for 7 months and he is aggravated with me..because Im not contributing enough money, I do little things that aggravate him... and he informed me the other day..that he may never want to marry me. He DEVASTATED ME..this is not like him. he said..he loved me very much, and still wants to be with me..Im a wonderful girlfriend...etc. But the whole "legal" thing with marriage, he is afraid will end up in divorce. So what Im guessing is..he wants to stay with me..but not marry me. I AM DEVASTATED. It wasnt supposed to be this way. I hope you start to feel better soon.
Author mr_han Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 Thanks Sinkerswim. It is good to know your experience. I am a guy, a Martian (from Mars as Dr. Gray say), I believe that when a guy proposes, he means it. I meant it when I proposed marriage to my ex. Marriage is not a trivial thing. It is total commitment. I guess your guy has commitment issue. It seems that I am giving you advice now (ha ha). Right now I adhere to the maxim that “never invest your emotion on things that causes you stress”. I am still hurting but what can we do, we can only love but we can never demand to be loved back.
Mr. Lucky Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 For what it's worth, you got out cheap and easy. Spend some time in the Divorce Forum and you'll understand the pain involved in breaking up a 20-year marriage with house, kids and intertwined assets included. What ever you GF's other qualities, she's is being upfront with you about how she feels and, while painful, that honesty is usually a good thing. Just don't make any of the classic rebound mistakes and rush into another relationship. I'm assuming you're a fairly young guy, so lots of time to find the kind of relationship you want... Mr. Lucky
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