ImThinkingWTF Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 Ok...There is this guy that Ive been "seeing" since january. I like to call him my fake boyfriend because we do everything that a "real" couple does and act like a "real" couple when we are together. But, I feel like we have an addict type relationship where we binge and purge on each other. We will go strong for a few weeks then have a serious lull in the relationship for a few weeks. We get along really well, we have never had even a minor argument. When we are together we have the best time. He's always been honest with me about dating other people and about his past relationships. Hes admitted that hes not good in relationships and that hes not the most faithful person. He has since moved and now lives about an hour away so we dont get to see each other nearly as frequently as before. I went to visit him last week for the first time since mid-april. He went on to confirm everything that I feel about the relationship...that we get along very well and he said that if he was going to be in a relationship it would be with me. I didnt have much response to that other than we probably get along so well because we dont see each other that often. Now, I could pretty much shake the things that he's said as just talk but, his mom and I had a heart to heart while i was there. She told me that he said "Out of all the girls ive dated, shes the person I can see myself with forever". Now, his mom is definitely not the type of person to make something like that up. So, should I believe that he actually feels like that? and if he does, should it even matter? I mean--does it sound like this relationship will ever go any further than it has? I was fine with the way it was going and im pretty good about keeping my emotions in check but, ive definitely been feeling differently towards him and the trip had a different tone than it normally does.....
Luv2Laugh Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 News Flash-When someone tells you "they're not exactly the faithful type" or they "have a hard time committing" it means they CHEAT. Trust me! I've said these things myself and I was basically trying to warn the person I was seeing-look, I like you a lot but I'm not good at monogomany and chances are I'm going to end up straying and cheating on u poor lil' thing even though I don't want to hurt you. If you don't want to get cheated on then leave the guy! It's REALLY simple-don't waste anymore time making this thing more complicated than it has to be.
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 yeah, I know that he's not good in relationships. Ive had the pleasure of having a friendship with him before things got to where they are and not only have i seen it with my own eyes but, we have had some pretty deep conversations about it. i guess im just looking for some sort of validation. If I believe him when he says he's a cheater shouldnt i also believe him when he says he cares? Im not in any way delusional about him...or where its going. I guess I just want to know if he really feels the way he says and the way his mom said he does...
SpikeyChick Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 yeah, I know that he's not good in relationships. Ive had the pleasure of having a friendship with him before things got to where they are and not only have i seen it with my own eyes but, we have had some pretty deep conversations about it. i guess im just looking for some sort of validation. If I believe him when he says he's a cheater shouldnt i also believe him when he says he cares? Im not in any way delusional about him...or where its going. I guess I just want to know if he really feels the way he says and the way his mom said he does... Here is some VERY HARSH reality- his FEELINGS for you do not count for much here because he is TELLING you that he is willing to CHEAT in a relationship. That makes hin unfit to be in a relationship.Do not make the mistake that most of us have made and believe that the "power of your love" can transform him into your Mr Perfect .... Men do not tell you these kinds of things about themselves EXCEPT as a warning to you. And women need to get real about the limits of what their "love" can achieve (or cannot). You are free to believe him in whatever he says. Im sure that he does care BUT if you continue, and go in deeper, you are going in to serious pain as well. I really feel for you here. So close yet so far .
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted June 7, 2008 Author Posted June 7, 2008 im willing to sound really dumb right now...but he really brings out the best qualities in me. :-/ Im really torn. We have been talking a lot more now and making plans for the summer... the prob is, i also have never been faithful in a relationship. maybe one. not always physical. but i dont think its because i cant, i think its because i never valued the relationship enough.
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