GuttedEnglishBloke Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 Ok, I can just about accept she's gone and it's over. What I am really struggling with is the thought of her sleeping with her new boyfriend. They've been going out for a month now, so knowing her like I do, it's bound to have happened. Does anyone else struggle with this sort of thing? It's driving me insane!!!!!
PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 I know exactly how you feel. My ex had a new girlfriend pretty much immediately, and I know they're together doing all the things we used to. It feels like she's living MY life. I hate it so much I have to stop thinking about it or i'll go nuts. You just have to do your best to put her out of your mind and try to think about yourself. Do nice things for you, spend time with those you care about, and distract yourself in as many ways possible till you start to naturally think about her and what she's up to less and less. I'm trying too, it's hard, but you'll get there. They will have other people in their lives, and they will do all the things we used to do with them. You just can't think about it.
Author GuttedEnglishBloke Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 It is so difficult. I try to keep occupied and am spending my time catching up with old friends, which has been great. I have an office job however, and it's when I'm at work, on my own in my office that it gets to me. Oh well, I've managed nearly six weeks on my own, I suppose I'll keep going. How do some partners manage to move on in the space of a couple of days? Not 6 hours before she cheated on me, she was declaring undying love to me in an email. Sigh.
northstar1 Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 It is so difficult. I try to keep occupied and am spending my time catching up with old friends, which has been great. I have an office job however, and it's when I'm at work, on my own in my office that it gets to me. Oh well, I've managed nearly six weeks on my own, I suppose I'll keep going. How do some partners manage to move on in the space of a couple of days? Not 6 hours before she cheated on me, she was declaring undying love to me in an email. Sigh. I hear ya mate. Keeping busy with friends and the gym is good and all, but its when you're at the office, or at home alone, that the thoughts creep in and nest themselves in your head like a bad tootache.
timmay Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 ya i have had the same problem. it is hard not to think about your ex ****ing someone else and yes it does upset me. I have not figured out a way to not think about that kind of stuff but it does us no good to think about it so just try to keep busy. My ex was having sex with this dude but he didnt last becuase for the most part when a girl breaks up with you, her way of getting over you is sleeping with some other guy. Not always true but i have known many girls who do this. It never makes them happy in the long run because they think the dude really likes them but really he was just in it for the ****... i know it sucks but not much we can do. hope the best for you bro
PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 it's when I'm at work, on my own in my office that it gets to me. Yeah I know, it's the quiet times that are the worst. I tried listening to the radio in the office, but every sodding song reminded me of him and everyone new I've met in recent weeks has his name. Maybe try and think about what you want in a partner, and try to focus on where she came up short. Those annoying little habits we once thought were cute, were actually just really annoying! In time you'll be ready to date again, and it will be a little easier. Don't rush it though. Think about the exciting possibilities ahead, not the past. Good luck, I feel your pain.
justaman99 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 This is a tough one. Without sounding like I have a huge ego I know I am VERY good in bed. So when I used to think of her boning some other guy I would just say odds are I was better and she probably thinks the same. Now I'm at a point though where I don't even think about it. I just hope she's happy.
JustPassingThru Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Ah man... Just thinking about my ex and another guy makes me sick. still waiting for the day I hear, "she has someone else". I have had other ex's that moved on within a few weeks. I never really understood that. Then, I'd hear that it didn't last but a month between them and the other. Most of the time, when you have someone else after the break up, it makes things easier. You're not focusing on the ex, you're focusing on the present person. Anyway... I feel for you, I'd be losing it if I were in your shoes. Now it's time for you to move on. Plenty of fish in the sea.
sunshinegirl Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 This is a tough one. Without sounding like I have a huge ego I know I am VERY good in bed. So when I used to think of her boning some other guy I would just say odds are I was better and she probably thinks the same. Now I'm at a point though where I don't even think about it. I just hope she's happy. I wish I had your confidence! I should, since my ex told me I was "phenomenal, mindblowing, the best sex of his life". I probably AM a hard act to follow, but I keep thinking that maybe the stupid office hooch is one-upping me in that department. After all, the sex wasn't enough to keep him from cheating on me...
twice_shy Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Ok, I can just about accept she's gone and it's over. What I am really struggling with is the thought of her sleeping with her new boyfriend. They've been going out for a month now, so knowing her like I do, it's bound to have happened. Does anyone else struggle with this sort of thing? Nope. My xW's boyfriend was just sent to prison. Life is good!
justaman99 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 After all, the sex wasn't enough to keep him from cheating on me... It probably wasn't the sex that caused him to cheat. Lots of guys that cheat just want to have sex with another woman, that they want something different. That may sound harsh but I would think this was probably the reason. The office hooch doesn't compare. Odds are he'll cheat on her as well when he gets bored.
kizik Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Sunshine, for a guy, sex is pretty much the same: great, because, well... it's SEX. There's not a whole lot a woman can do WRONG, save for biting his c*ck off or pulling a Bobbitt. So don't worry about this woman being "better," because it's really all the same. A big part of a MAN being good in bed, however, is controlling his orgasm. Men can be bad in bed... women can't.
porto26 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Sunshine, for a guy, sex is pretty much the same: great, because, well... it's SEX. There's not a whole lot a woman can do WRONG, save for biting his c*ck off or pulling a Bobbitt. So don't worry about this woman being "better," because it's really all the same. A big part of a MAN being good in bed, however, is controlling his orgasm. Men can be bad in bed... women can't. not true, I know my ex was horrible in bed, but I still loved her. She was lazy and would not try to experience new things, I hated it but did my best to make things fun. Like someone mentioned before, I am not trying to be cocky but I know Im a good in bed. From past hookups I get the I am like porn-star compliments;) I take good care of business.
borelandkaren Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 I feel for you darlin and can empathise but I had a bloke who never left me alone. 5 1/2 years, 3-4 times a day. I'm over it!
justaman99 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 A big part of a MAN being good in bed, however, is controlling his orgasm. Men can be bad in bed... women can't. Sorry I have to disagree. Women that just sit there are what I would consider bad in bed. For me a woman being good can be uninhibited and let me take control one day and seductive, sweet and sensuous the next. Look me in the eyes deeply as I her once, or the next just tearing the room apart. If all she does is have an attitude of ok, let's do this = bad. And talk, talk and have fun. And for men while true controlling orgasm is key there is so much more. It's not just about what you do with your d***. Use the body, explore her, tease her, slower, or faster and a mix of the two. Try different pressures, with hands, mouth, and umm other things in different areas. Use your breath softly on her skin, breathe heavier at other times and different places. The trick is to make her wonder what you're going to do next as her eyes are closed as you take her away from everything. The guy has to mix it up. Listen to her breathing, put your head against her chest and feel her heart, feel her body tense up, look for the signs. It's not just about controlling the orgasm for a guy. It's about knowing her but also her not knowing what's next. Sorry for the detail if it's too much but it's true, at least in my opinion.
borelandkaren Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 Sorry I have to disagree. Women that just sit there are what I would consider bad in bed. For me a woman being good can be uninhibited and let me take control one day and seductive, sweet and sensuous the next. Look me in the eyes deeply as I her once, or the next just tearing the room apart. If all she does is have an attitude of ok, let's do this = bad. And talk, talk and have fun. And for men while true controlling orgasm is key there is so much more. It's not just about what you do with your d***. Use the body, explore her, tease her, slower, or faster and a mix of the two. Try different pressures, with hands, mouth, and umm other things in different areas. Use your breath softly on her skin, breathe heavier at other times and different places. The trick is to make her wonder what you're going to do next as her eyes are closed as you take her away from everything. The guy has to mix it up. Listen to her breathing, put your head against her chest and feel her heart, feel her body tense up, look for the signs. It's not just about controlling the orgasm for a guy. It's about knowing her but also her not knowing what's next. Sorry for the detail if it's too much but it's true, at least in my opinion. Oooohhhh!!! I think I just.....! Ohhh Just....!!!!
timmay Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 women can definitly be bad in bed. the ones that just lay there on their back = bad sex.
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