Linux Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 So I live in an apartment building with a gym and just got done working out for the night last night. I get on the elevator to go up to my floor and theres this good looking woman in there by herself that I didn't recognize. I say hello and just go about my business (I was reading some mail) and she all of a sudden ask me if I live on her floor. I told her I wasn't sure and asked if she lived on the 15th floor and she said yeah and that I live next door to her. First of all I was kinda taken back that she knew I was her neighbor because until yesterday I have never seen her (or noticed her) so I was wondering if she has been secretly checking me out this whole time. At this point I was interested so I kept chit chating with her all the way to her door (about 5 mins or so). I got her name and where she works but I didn't get her number or anything (I thought it would be a bit weird asking for her number from a 5 minute conversation). She was really cute and seemed like she at least made a conscious effort to talk to me when she could of easily just said hi and be done with it, so I thought there was a chance she was interested in me and didn't want to let it go. Ok good so far, but here is where I might have gotten dumb. So I have been living in this apartment for almost a year now and I've never seen her up until yesterday (I know shes been there for quite awhile because of our chit-chat), so I figure if I just let nature take its course I might not even get the chance to randomly bump into her again for a VERY long time, which by then she might have a boyfriend (hell, she might already have one now ). So heres what I did. I make up a note that just said "Hi xxx, it's xxx from last night, when you get the chance can you give me a call at xxx", and left it on her door this morning before I went to work. Did I just do something extremely creepy? I figured me doing this is very low risk since even though she my neighbor it's still unlikely I'll ever see her again if she isn't interested or creped out. In the case she does call me back (don't worry I already know the possibility is very low), I already have a BS excuse planned as to why I had her call me to make it seem like I'm not trying to come onto her.
george1122 Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 You should have made an attempt to bump into her again and asked her out for coffee or something. If she does not call: Wait a week or two and then do the above. If she calls: Tell her that you didn't want to disturb her by knnocking on her door, so you left her a note, chit chat, and then ask her for some coffee.
Lishy Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 I dont think that was too creepy she is obviously interested so she will probably be happy to get the note! Good luck and good initiative!
Author Linux Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 You should have made an attempt to bump into her again and asked her out for coffee or something. If she does not call: Wait a week or two and then do the above. If she calls: Tell her that you didn't want to disturb her by knnocking on her door, so you left her a note, chit chat, and then ask her for some coffee. Yeah that would of been preferable, but like I stated in my original post I have lived there for nearly a year and haven't bumped into her since yesterday, the odds are if I didn't make a move I wouldn't see her again for a very long time (if ever), it was all or nothing as far as that note goes. If she doesn't call I'm not going to out of my way to bump into her (I don't even know how I would do that anyway, I don't know her schedule), I'll just let it go in move on, nothing lost.
Author Linux Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 I dont think that was too creepy she is obviously interested so she will probably be happy to get the note! Good luck and good initiative! Yeah I thought so too, she since she somehow knew I was her neighbor and I've never since her before. Also the fact that shes the one who initiated the chit chat and kept it going. I was just caught too off guard to make an aggressive move for her phone number from such a short conversation. I was just worried leaving a note on her door was going over the line. Oh well. I'll make sure and update you guys on the situation.
Crestfallen_KH Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 I think it's a little weird that you felt asking for her number after a 5-minute chat was inappropriate, but leaving a note on her door was better. It's slightly creepy, but not terribly creepy - it does sound like she was definitey interested; however, if she does not call you, absolutely let it go. Any attempt at further pursuit might freak her out since she knows you know where she lives. Good luck, I hope it works!
Author Linux Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 I think it's a little weird that you felt asking for her number after a 5-minute chat was inappropriate, but leaving a note on her door was better. It's slightly creepy, but not terribly creepy - it does sound like she was definitey interested; however, if she does not call you, absolutely let it go. Any attempt at further pursuit might freak her out since she knows you know where she lives. Good luck, I hope it works! Trust me, I don't think it was better , but after thinking about it after the fact my choices were to go all in or very likely never see her again (even though shes my neighbor ). I chose to go all in. And yeah trust me, if I don't hear from her I'm not pursuing this.
Crestfallen_KH Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 Or, another option would have been to knock on her door and re-introduce yourself. You could have told her you really enjoyed meeting her and you didn't want to weird her out or anything since you are neighbors, but would she like to get a cup of coffee? That wouldn't have been creepy or passive to me. I would have been impressed and flattered, actually. Anyway, let us know if the note worked. I'm really curious to hear what happens!
SS49 Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 In the case she does call me back (don't worry I already know the possibility is very low), I already have a BS excuse planned as to why I had her call me to make it seem like I'm not trying to come onto her. Why the BS excuse?? If she gives you a call just tell her that you enjoyed your conversation the other day and was wondering if she'd like to grab a cup of coffee. Not sure why you don't want to seem like you're interested in going out with her, when you are interested in going out with her!! You're smart enough to realize that if she's not interested you shouldn't push it, so I wouldn't feel bad, weird, or inappropriate about showing her you are interested.
SpikeyChick Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 In the case she does call me back (don't worry I already know the possibility is very low), I already have a BS excuse planned as to why I had her call me to make it seem like I'm not trying to come onto her. What ! Some of you guys really bother me - you sound like scared women. "...Im not trying to come on to her " ? What kind of man speaks like that ? THe point of asking a woman out is to tell her, by dating her,that you want to "come on to her " . I am hearing this lame girly/male shyte more and more these days - BOYS, stop disguising your sexuality by pretending that you are not hot for her.. Stop "creeping " around with women - get manly and go get her.
Author Linux Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 Update: So yeah, it worked, sorta So she called me earlier tonight (I was VERY suprised she called back at all) while I was out taking care of some stuff, and I wanted some free time to talk to her so I thanked her for getting back with me and asked her if I could call her back in about an hour. She said cool so I did. Well I call her about a hour later intending to chat for awhile so I tried to start some random conversation but it seemed she was out with friends or something (it was loud and I could barely hear her) so I asked her if I should call her back later. She said no its fine she'll step out real quick and put me on hold for about 30 seconds or so. So after she (I'm guessing) went outside she asked me what I want to ask her (kinda sounded like she wanted to get to the point of why I wanted her to call me), so instead of trying to start come conversation I fell back on my BS excuse, we talked for about 3 mins and asked her to get back with me later and that was that. I think I might of misread the whole thing and I'm not going to pursue this any further Oh well I won't get anywhere if I don't try, so I don't regret any of it
Author Linux Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 Why the BS excuse?? If she gives you a call just tell her that you enjoyed your conversation the other day and was wondering if she'd like to grab a cup of coffee. Not sure why you don't want to seem like you're interested in going out with her, when you are interested in going out with her!! You're smart enough to realize that if she's not interested you shouldn't push it, so I wouldn't feel bad, weird, or inappropriate about showing her you are interested. The BS excuse was for exactly the situation that happened to me . Now I'm glad I had a backup plan.
Author Linux Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 What ! Some of you guys really bother me - you sound like scared women. "...Im not trying to come on to her " ? What kind of man speaks like that ? THe point of asking a woman out is to tell her, by dating her,that you want to "come on to her " . I am hearing this lame girly/male shyte more and more these days - BOYS, stop disguising your sexuality by pretending that you are not hot for her.. Stop "creeping " around with women - get manly and go get her. Sorry but thats the world we live in these days. If you come on too strong you seem like a creep. Trust me, guys wish they could make thier intentions know right up front, but saying things like "hey I think you are cute, do you want to go out for coffee and get to know each other?" will get you strange looks. Acting like you are not really interested in dating but slowly working yourself into doing something with her actually works fairly well.
D-Lish Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 I don't know what your building is like- but mine is a social community. Every single male neighbour has knocked on my door to introduce themselves at one time or another. Some have been sexual advances- other have been just friendly hello's or asking for something (a cup of sugar) lol. I wasn't put off by them knocking. Why not knock and ask her for something you need- like some milk for your coffee...? It can't hurt. The friendly guys in my building never made me feel uncomfortable when they knocked- your neighbous- and in that you have something in common. I hang out with most of my neighbours- never had a dating experience with them- but I have met some of their friends and had a date or two. I say why not? I very attractive guy moved into my fourth floor this weekend- and we have been exchanging long glances and big smiles. I think I will go on up and introduce myself and welcome him:rolleyes:
Author Linux Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 I don't know what your building is like- but mine is a social community. Every single male neighbour has knocked on my door to introduce themselves at one time or another. Some have been sexual advances- other have been just friendly hello's or asking for something (a cup of sugar) lol. I wasn't put off by them knocking. Why not knock and ask her for something you need- like some milk for your coffee...? It can't hurt. The friendly guys in my building never made me feel uncomfortable when they knocked- your neighbous- and in that you have something in common. I hang out with most of my neighbours- never had a dating experience with them- but I have met some of their friends and had a date or two. I say why not? I very attractive guy moved into my fourth floor this weekend- and we have been exchanging long glances and big smiles. I think I will go on up and introduce myself and welcome him:rolleyes: Ok there is a few things you don't understand about the US, and California in particular. Unless you're from a small town things don't work like that around here. California isn't a happy-go-lucky friendly place. You don't go randomly knocking on your neighbors doors unless you know them, otherwise you are likely to get the security called on you (no, I don't live in a ghetto neighborhood, quite upscale in fact). I have been here nearly a year and --not one-- neighbor has knocked on my door and introduced themselves to me. Yes we do random hellos on the elevator and hallway, but nothing beyond that until yesterday. Yesterday was the first time any neighbor has shown ANY interest in getting to know me (thus why I thought she was interested in me). Who knows, maybe she just moved here from Canada and don't know how things work around here
I am who I am Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 If you come on too strong you seem like a creep. Trust me, guys wish they could make thier intentions know right up front, but saying things like "hey I think you are cute, do you want to go out for coffee and get to know each other?" will get you strange looks. Acting like you are not really interested in dating but slowly working yourself into doing something with her actually works fairly well. But leaving random notes on her door is cool?? Dude... you are so AFC even I'm feeling sorry for you. You missed the perfect opportunity to knock on her door, holding out a cup.. asking for some sugar... and "slowly working yourself into doing something with her" [EDIT:] OH SNAP>>> just read page 2... D-Lish beat me to it...
Author Linux Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 But leaving random notes on her door is cool?? Dude... you are so AFC even I'm feeling sorry for you. You missed the perfect opportunity to knock on her door, holding out a cup.. asking for some sugar... and "slowly working yourself into doing something with her" [EDIT:] OH SNAP>>> just read page 2... D-Lish beat me to it... I already admited leaving a note on her door was questionable, and I'm not AFC so theres no reason to feel sorry for me. And no I'm not going to randomly knock on her door asking for sugar (which in this case is an just a synonym for sex), I'd most likely be in handcuffs soon after. Seriously that just something you don't do around here. I'm not sure you guys understand that.
Sand&Water Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 RE: I don't believe what you did, Linux, was stupid. Rather, it was kind of cute. But. But. You are standing on shaky ground, right now. If you are a good looking man, this move won't land you into the "Creepy Guy 'Who-Does-He-Think-He-Is' Type of Friend Zone". However, if you are average and certainly not handsome, then it's best you retract your eagerness and attention, and focus on other woman: It's a numbers game. She's good looking, so she's used to the attention. Bottom line, a subtle gesture like yours, is a nice way to interact with a woman within your league. Hoping for an explosive date with a gorgeous woman, is dreaming (Realistically speaking). Sand&Water
Author Linux Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 RE: I don't believe what you did, Linux, was stupid. Rather, it was kind of cute. But. But. You are standing on shaky ground, right now. If you are a good looking man, this move won't land you into the "Creepy Guy 'Who-Does-He-Think-He-Is' Type of Friend Zone". However, if you are average and certainly not handsome, then it's best you retract your eagerness and attention, and focus on other woman: It's a numbers game. She's good looking, so she's used to the attention. Bottom line, a subtle gesture like yours, is a nice way to interact with a woman within your league. Hoping for an explosive date with a gorgeous woman, is dreaming (Realistically speaking). Sand&Water I'm a fairly good looking guy, very much in shape and clean cut. She was pretty good lucking however and sure she gets her share of attention. It doesn't matter at this point though as you might have read earlier I'm not going to pursue this further.
I am who I am Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 and I'm not AFC You know this acronym? Yet, you don't know its definition. Everyone here has given you all the info you need to either proceed or retract from this... Personally, I want you to call her 20 times a day... so I can read your new thread about "Why doesn't she call me". Alas, You seem to be semi-stable... so why focus on a girl in your building? Ever heard the adage.. 'don't poop where you eat.' ? Once again... you are AFC... If you weren't .. you would already have her number.
Lishy Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Hey can we keep the AFC thing over at SoSuave? It has no place here! I have a feeling she will call back Linux! If not, her loss!
I am who I am Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Hey can we keep the AFC thing over at SoSuave? It has no place here! ?? I'm confused. I have a feeling she will call back Linux! If not, her loss! LOL... wait by the phone?
Author Linux Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 You know this acronym? Yet, you don't know its definition. Everyone here has given you all the info you need to either proceed or retract from this... Personally, I want you to call her 20 times a day... so I can read your new thread about "Why doesn't she call me". Alas, You seem to be semi-stable... so why focus on a girl in your building? Ever heard the adage.. 'don't poop where you eat.' ? Once again... you are AFC... If you weren't .. you would already have her number. Actually I had to look up the definition before I replied to your post. And did you read my update at all? I already proceeded with this and I do have her number. Why would I call her 20 times a day? When did I say that I only pursue girls in my building? You are reading the wrong things or totally inaccurate things out of my post. I don't know where you are comming up with this stuff. I'm not AFC, but if you believe I am thats fine, I won't argue with about it.
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