mehtaz Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 Hi my name is mehtaz. Its my first post over here and i have been really messed about this girl in my life who i have known for about 4 months now. We met on the internet and sparked on instantly. She was like someone i had never come across. An extremely vibrant and charming personality with erringly similar likes, dislikes and life experiences to me. We talked and still talk on the phone. She started of calling me every single day for more around 30 minutes more than once or twice a day. We talked a lot having similar liking for pretty much everything. She started to tell me about her life. That she had been sexually abused more than once when she was very young, almost 10 years old in public places. That she had started cutting/slicing her self with a glass shard out of depression when she was 15 years old. The latter moved me a lot and she continued to tell me how her mother took absolutely no notice of her condition. So much so that she her to stop watching graphic movies and stop imitating the actors. She was honest enough to tell me that she has a lot of guy friends in the past (all made on the internet). That there was this one particular guy who had saved her from committing suicide. She continued on to tell me that i was the only lover she has ever had. Yes i was madly in love with her and still am. She means a lot to me. She has almost given me a new life, a new meaning. But then i started noticing sudden changes in her behavior. All of them on MSN. She got pissy, vented her anger on me and told me to "****" oFF. Ridiculed me moderately and told me that she didn't love me at all. I tried to reconcile with her but all in vain. What surprised me was that she used to call me up in the morning and was back to her normal charming, loving self. Unwilling to talk about what had transpired the last night, she just said that she doesn't remember what occurred last night. This took place more than once and left me seriously worried and depressed. I couldn't possibly understand what i was doing wrong until i came across her entire life written down in a text book. I took up Human Behavior as a course and was studying for the exam when i read about Borderline disorder. It contained everything that she did. Every bit of her past, present and her behavior was written down in a text book catering to under graduates. But i still love her. Her exams had already started by then. Its been a month since i know this. Her exams will end on 13th june. I have to tell her this but i don't how. Her parents are ignorant. And on top of that she is suffering from PCOS. I have no idea what to do. I know that when i tell her this she'll just cut the call off and i would never be able to get in touch with her again. I know i am not her first lover, but i honestly want to be her last. I really want to help her. Please if someone here could guide me. she is 19 years old. And will be leaving the city, maybe the country depending on her University admission. I know that for her to get therapy would mean that she has to stay, in one place at least. I live in karachi, pakistan. Even though we have excellent hospitals over here i doubt BPD awareness is present. I haven't checked though.
cjanee Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Hey Its quite common for people to think that they have a diagnosis or their friends, family or lover, spouse, etc has some disorder when a student studies psychology. In fact the prof or instructor is supposed to warn you of this scenario that happens to every student. Borderline Personality Disorder is a serious mental disorder that needs several matched criteria from the DSM that I am quite certain your text book would not have included. Thank goodness for that or students would be diagnosing everyone. Hence the need to go to med school and work in the field before given the privilege of diagnosis I work in the mental health field and despite that some of her symptoms may match BPD its too complex of a condition to be able to put her in that box. Her symptoms are also correlated with sexual abuse, trauma, attachment disorder, mood disorder, ADHD, drug use and I could go on.. My question is her calling you every half hour is a big red flag for a unstable person. This person appears quite clingy and possessive. Also have you considered that she could have been drinking or high when she was talking to you on MSN? Especially since she cannot seem to remember how she was treating you? Those are my thoughts
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