Bradk Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 Going to start from the begining or at least try too. I meet this girl online, she winked at me first and I started the connect. We talked for a few days and meet up a couple times. She has 2 wonderful girls (from 2 differn't guys I know that should have worried me) and she didn't try to hide them. Then we meet up at her house and hung out, which I stayed the night and of course we did what most people do. Of course timing is crazy cause I went on vaction for 2 weeks which we kept texting back and forth to each other. I get back and we continuned to date and hang out. I slowly ended up moving in with her and she didn't seem to have much of a problem with that. I helped around the house and financially cause at the time she wasn't getting child support. As a good guy I bought her stuff for V-Day and I bought her some lingire you know something special. We went out for 4 months then she kind of just was like I need my space and just didn't want to date. Well the thing was is an old ex boyfriend came back around and she doesn't say anything about it but I think thats what happen. He talked to me say all this crap and when I finally moved out I had a big fight with her before I left. I later told her I loved her and would be there for her. Of course it hurt for a while and then I decided maybe I should talk to some one new. So I meet some one else online and started talking to her. Me and this new girl are just friends and talked to each other. We have gone to a couple movies and she invited me out to the beach but we are just friends. Forgot one thing the day we had the fight she gave back all the stuff i got her like the flowers and the bear and stuff. Then the next day she said she was sorry and wanted the stuff back so I gave it too her. (Don't know why she would want sentimental stuff back that had no value) The ex and I are friends also then one day I decided to do NC and the first day she didn't try to talk to me and I didn't tell her what I was doing. The next day she texted me trying to figure out whats going on and I ignored them. Then I texted her back the next day when she texted me and told her we had too much history we can't just be friends and to call me if she wanted to talk about getting back together. Couple days go by and she sent me this e-mail (sorry the e-mail isn't edited so its just a block) k here goes. I know that you asked me to give you space and not contact you unless it was via phone and about our relationship. I just have some things to say and I will leave you alone. When we broke up I told you that I did not know what I wanted. I also told you I wanted to remain friends. Friends that hang out from time to time and they also continued to talk. Brad you can't even answer a question about computers. You say you only want to talk if it has to do with our relationship. Well maybe I am not ready to talk about that. I have told you I don't know what I want that it will take time. Its not I am moving on because I am not doing that at all. My head is so full and my heart is so empty that I don't know what to do. I don't want to say hey lets give it another go and then a couple of months go by and uh oh I get them feelings again to where I need space. You say we have too much of a history to be friends. If thats the case we have too much of a history not to be friends. You are basically saying if I don't want to be with you I may as well not even contact with you. Either be with you as a couple relationship or I can't have anything to do with you. I don't understand the reasoning in that. I have enjoyed spending time with you the few times we have gotten together since we broke up. I am scared. Yes, scared of being in a relationship. No matter how good things appear to be. Kenny and I dated for almost two years and up until the half hour before we broke up things were fairy tale. We had everything we ever wanted. He couldn't ask for me or better and neither could I. But you know how that ended. Jody and I had a rough and rocky four years the entire time and that ended the same way a fairy tale did. I mean no matter what it will always have the chance of ending the same way. Honestly I don't want a relationship with anyone. I want as many friends as possible but if I never got into a realtionship again or even sexually I would not care a bit. I have come to realize I am too difficult. I have too many little things that I want or don't want. The word Love and Marriage is too over used. I just want someone I can hang out with and have fun with. Watching movies, going to eat, going to the park, playing with the girls. If you can't accept that then I am sorry. If you can't be friends because you want us back then maybe a friendship won't work between the two of us. If we are going to be friends we need to drop the topic of us every happening again because I will tell you right now that is the fastest way to make sure it don't happen is by bringing it up all the time. Well I hope you took the time to read this. Please get back with me on the computers I would hate to throw them away if you think they would come in useful to you but I just dont want them collecting dust for no reason. Let me know within the next day or so please and thank you for reading this if in fact you did. I felt that the e-mail said a lot and told me a lot that she felt. So I started talking to her again. We hung out she invited me to a BBQ. She called me about computer help cause thats what I do and I had to go over there to help her and I did. Was goign to leave and she just told me to stick around and hang out. We text and stuff then the night I hung out she mentioned that the other guy wasn't on her friends list on MySpace any more. Which I thought was weird cause I didn't even bring him up. I'm sure I missed some stuff but I'm just really confused and not sure what to do? I tried to ask other places but no one gave me any advice so I will try here. If i'm in the wrong spot tell me and I will move to another forums.
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