Found out my boyfriend had been masturbating over porn on the net

[Horse]

I know i cant stop him doing it and i wouldnt ever tell him to stop but it still hurts thinking that when im not there hes getting off looking at other women!

 

Which is why he probably wouldn't tell you if he was.

[Toni_no12002]

I suppose but i still know he does it so it still hurts lol.God im confusing

[RecordProducer]

He is not looking at other women! He is looking at other boobs and pussies just to get off. It's not a big deal for men. When I was pregnant and wasn't in the mood, my ex-husband would take a magazine and masturbate in the bathroom. I was completely okay with that and it never occurred to me that it was him looking at other women. He was also watching striptease on TV occasionally when I wasn't around. (Mom told me, hehehe)

 

So what? We get a spontaneous reaction to seeing sex just like when we see or smell food when we're hungry. Women don't have this reaction with male bodies (cuz we're smarter than that ), but men do with female. What can you do? No reason for you to be jealous really. He loves you, right?

[Horse]

If men are so visual why do they need to jerk of to some other women why not the woman your with.If you have fantisies why do you have to think about them while looking at someone else?I mean why not share them with your girlfriends.I dont know why i just think its wrong to go looking for someone else to jerk off to.As for the cheating thing.Thats rubbish.So your telling me if guys didnt jerk off to other women in pictures and stuff theyd cheat?My boyfriend doesnt look at porn anymore and he hasnt yet

 

So didnt mean to have a go just saying my view

 

I don't know if I would cheat if I couldn't spank my monkey, but the urge and the temptation would be a lot stronger.

 

It kind of funny Women expect men to calmly deal with the way women react to their hormones (PMS etc.) yet many of them have a hard time dealing with mens reactions to their own hormones. My hormones tell me that I want to f***c almost every attractive woman I meet.

 

Among other things masturbation and fantasy help mitigate these hormonal urges.

 

Yes there are some guys who don't get those urges just as there are some women who don't get irratable and moody for one week out of the month, but they are an extreme minority.

[Horse]

Isnt sex supposed to be about making babies anyway?Thats the whole point of it to carry the human race on.

 

i think men think about sex too much.why dont men think about cuddling other women lol.You may say because your supposed to be that intimate only with your girlfriend etc(i mean cuddling with girlfriends etc) but isnt sex supposed to be about loving the other person?And being intimate with them.

 

If sex is only about procreation then cuddling and intimacy are completely irrelevant. Nature or god made sex enjoyable so that people would want to do it and carry on the himan race. He/it also made intimacy enjoyable so that the couple would stay together at least long enough to raise the child.

 

For men the primary urge is procreation. The more women they mate with, the more likely they are to seed an offspring.So men value sex and novelty more.

 

Women have to worry about finding a mate who will stick around and help raise the child, so they are wired to value intimacy more.

[RecordProducer]

For men the primary urge is procreation. The more women they mate with, the more likely they are to seed an offspring. So men value sex and novelty more.

 

Nature is happier with high-quality specimens than with high-quantity (re)production; hence the system of elimination of the weak ones. In that manner, intimacy and long-term love serve to help both parents look after their offspings together. If the mother takes care of the children while the father brings food to the cave, the little ones will survive, be healthier and stronger. Plus there won't be too many kids around to usurp the available food. (Sometimes I wonder why nature made the most violent - not only strongest - survive!)

 

If the man leaves the woman to make more kids, the woman will also have to accept new providors for her exisiting children and have more children with them. So the polygamy theory works in both directions. I don't see why nature would want men to be obsessed with fatherhood (spreading their semen) while women would be reserved about it. In fact women are the family types. I know the theory you brought, scientists have presented it as valid, but something is missing in their premise.

[d'Arthez]

Prehistoric life was not like the Flintstones. Anyone with a degree in anthropology to comment on the evolutionary-psychology nonsense?

[Toni_no12002]

Im baffelede lol ill never understand men but i suppose they will never understand women

The thing i dont get is if men feel the need to have sex with every woman that is attractive why get in relationships in the first place lol

Im confused !life is weird

[Horse]

Im baffelede lol ill never understand men but i suppose they will never understand women

The thing i dont get is if men feel the need to have sex with every woman that is attractive why get in relationships in the first place lol

Im confused !life is weird

 

 

I think both men and women have desires that sometimes conflict. Men desire intimacy and family as well. We also have an apparantly biological desire for novelty.

 

I think women experience the same conflicting desires, just that their desire for intimacy is a little stronger and their desire for novelty is weaker.

 

 

 

 

Back to the anthrpological/biological thing. I got all of it from the discovery channel, so take it for what it's worth. There was a show on primates and fidelity. There was the normal heirachy where the alphamale got the best women etc. But.. the lower status males took sort of a nice guy position as friends/helpers with the females. When the alphamale was out hunting or fighting, the female would mate with the nice guy. The commentator said this behavior ensures diversity and was sort of a backup plan if the alphamale was shooting blanks.

[Toni_no12002]

As rp said that hes not looking at other women just boobs and pussies that does make sense but why cant he look at mine instead lol.

 

Thanks horse thats quite interesting actually

 

The things i do to try and understand men lol.i dont think i will ever trully understand them!

[RecordProducer]

We also have an apparantly biological desire for novelty.

I think women experience the same conflicting desires, just that their desire for intimacy is a little stronger and their desire for novelty is weaker.

They say that women cheat as much as men. So we are not quite different in the novelty desire. It's just that we feel and express things differently.

 

Im baffelede lol ill never understand men but i suppose they will never understand women

The thing i dont get is if men feel the need to have sex with every woman that is attractive why get in relationships in the first place lol

Toni, that's not true. Please don't feel viewing porn as cheating. It's like eating outside home. He can still love your meals and eat a burger here and there, right?

[d'Arthez]

He can still love your meals and eat a burger here and there, right?

Yes, but if he would say that the chef who made the burger was a culinary genius, there would be trouble (a)brewing!

[Toni_no12002]

I know that looking at porn isnt exactly cheating but thats what it feels like.It makes me feel so upset that when i went to bed or whatever he was down stairs looking at other women.It feels like hes looking at these women all the time and when he feels like it or i do we have sex.He says he enjoys it but would he prefer it more with some of those women?If he didnt even like them he wouldnt look!He told me he didnt know why he looked at porn and naked women on the net!isnt it obvious heliked them.He tells me he didnt even like them.But if he didnt he wouldnt look at them right?