Mydish1 Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 I have more dating experience than relationship experience so I don't necessarily know how to approach this. As some of you might know I've been dating this girl, I see her about once a week and when we're together we hold hands. Though unfortunately in between dates we hardly talk and usually it's me that initiates everything. Though as weird as it may be on our 2nd date we had talked a bit about past relationships. But it didn't signify anything. As strange as it was when we hung out that day she asked me what I was thinking, I asked her back she said "nvm, I don't know why I asked that." I remember that was the same day I initiated hand holding. ....Unfortuntately from what I recall, the last time I initiated holding hands with a girl - she immediately had 'the talk' with me that she wanted an open relationship...which sucked for me. Two dates ago I told her I'm open to suggestions and that if she has any date ideas or wants to do/see something to tell me...no progress yet. I think the next time we hang out, I might just tell her it's ok to call me if she wants to. Are there any possible signs to read from her, or a good way to approach the topic w/o appearing needy? I'm interested in exclusivity with her, but I'm also ok w/dating her (and other women) and seeing where it goes...
D-Lish Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 ....Unfortuntately from what I recall, the last time I initiated holding hands with a girl - she immediately had 'the talk' with me that she wanted an open relationship...which sucked for me. You held hands with a girl and she busted out "the talk" with you???? That's crazy, crazy, crazy. One last thing to add... That's crazy.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 How long have you been dating this girl? There seems to be alot of tension and awkwardness when you're out with her. The best thing is to take it slow, especially since she seems like the shy kind. Try to come up with activities to make her be more open.
Author Mydish1 Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 You held hands with a girl and she busted out "the talk" with you???? That's crazy, crazy, crazy. One last thing to add... That's crazy. Hm..I dunno, usually what's a girls first reaction if a guy holds hands anyway? How long have you been dating this girl? There seems to be alot of tension and awkwardness when you're out with her. The best thing is to take it slow, especially since she seems like the shy kind. Try to come up with activities to make her be more open. We've been dating almost 2 months. I really don't know how shy she is, but I know she's only been with one other guy before me that lasted a few months. If I could see how she is around her friends, then I could really find out what kind of person she is. Every time we go out it's always something uniquely different because I try to find out what she likes. Though her reservation seems like it could be a character trait of hers. For all our dates she's been late except once. Sometimes she tells me when she will be, sometimes not.
AriaIncognito Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 Have you two even kissed yet? I'd think exclusivity shouldn't really be an issue that needs to be discussed unless you're progressing moreso to the physical side of things. For example, I'd be OK with kissing someone without being exclusive but I wouldn't be ok with having sex with them without being exclusive. Sure there are times when I'd like to know that we are only seeing eachother, but I think overall that becomes obvious if you're seeing someone on a regular basis. Unless they are really good and book many dates in one day so you can't tell lol. So, I'd say don't broach the topic unless you feel you need that topic discussed in order to move forward in the relationship, so to speak.
eric82 Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 the 'exclusive' talk... don't get ahead of yourself. think about it. you're only seeing her once a week. you haven't seen what kind of person she is around her friends. it sounds like you haven't even kissed her yet. do you really know her well enough to determine that she's worth being in an exclusive relationship with? as for signs, she's showing you plenty: she's always late for dates and after 2 months you still hardly talk between dates and you have to initiate everything. when you ask for her input and ideas, she gives you nothing to work with. this doesn't sound good. i mean it's to the point that you're actually considering telling her that it's ok to call you. come on, face reality, she's not into you. she's probably trying to be nice. girls are naturally indirect and she's especially going to avoid rejecting you in a direct, obvious manner when she sees how into her you are. she's probably also letting you hold her hand and pursue her because it's flattering to her ego. best case scenario, she's waiting for you put the moves on her to see if it sparks attraction inside her since she doesn't have other prospective boyfriends, but really that's just hopeful speculation. the fact is you're not sparking much attraction in her so far. if you were, she would be making things a lot easier for you and enthusiastically seeking to spend more time with you. if really want to see through her indirectness and know where you stand, do as ariawoman suggested, kiss her. don't ask for permission, just confidently lean in and kiss her. her immediate reaction will tell you everything.
Author Mydish1 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 I've kissed her and made out with her many times. Though as for as sex goes, no none yet and I wouldn't really expect it as Ariawoman stated...some girls like to be exclusive before doing it. She does make things easy for me, she lets me call all the shots on our dates, aside from a few minor objections. She never complains about anything and when we hangout we spend a good amount of time together. But she also seems like she might be a lazy dater, I mentioned something once about hanging out afterwork on weekdays I didn't really get a yes or no.
Recommended Posts