elphantman21 Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 ok, ive posted a thread ages ago bout gettin over my ex... and i did 4 a while and 4 a silly reason that i wnt even bother to explain im back in the trap HOWEVER... there is another girl who i thiiiiink quite likes me and i quite like her too but not as much as i really loved my ex (and still do :/) and i was wanting another opinion on what i should do because i think it would help and be a "welcome distraction" as it were however i cant help feeling that it would be unfair on her because i dont truly love her, its kinda a small feeling, but it may grow over time, i dont know... so i was wondering what to do help? thanx elphantman21
Exl Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 hard call. you'll have to decide that for yourself. either you're prepared to move on or you're not. don't let anyone else to be an emotional victim of your indecision. it hurts and you'd be a idiot for doing it (people do it, though). in the other hand, if you think you may actually develop true feelings for her, i don't see why not! cheers.
Author elphantman21 Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 thing is.... its been roughly six months since my ex and i broke up, and im still finding it hard to move on for no logical reason, and the most infuriating thing about the whole situation is that it is simply my feelings, and i cant control this.... so im seeing this as maybe an escape window... but as said above, i dont want a gf just to be an escape window, i want someone who i truly have feelings for.....
LikeCharlotte Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Wait until you are sure about how you feel. I have been checking out my options and hanging out with different people since my break up but I will not get involved. I owe it to myself to be 100% sure that I am ready. I don't want to drag someone else into something that may hurt them. I have lots of opportunities to get closer to people but I avoid that. I won't have room in my heart until its unoccupied. There is nothing wrong with having fun but don't lead anyone on. Be honest with yourself and with your new friend. Tell her you still love your ex and its going to take sometime. I hope that helps.
heartoutside Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Speaking from experience you don't really have to fall in love with someone the second you meet them. Sometimes things take time to develop. The key is going into the relationship without putting unrealistic expectations on each other. If you find yourself comparing everything this new girl does to your ex, then you probably still need sometime. If you can't see her for the individual that she is and embrace that, then it's probably a good idea to leave her be. And at the same time if you do pursue it further, i think she needs to know where you're coming from so she can also make a choice for herself. Just my 2 cents or 20 pesos....
Author elphantman21 Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 i see what youre saying, its just i dont see any other way out of how i feel at the moment, because six months is a long time, and bearing in mind we were only together for a month and we only knew each other for a month prior to going out everything seems out of proportion thanks 4 the help, and any more comments would be much appreciated thanx
LikeCharlotte Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Sometimes its the short relationships that get to you because maybe you feel like it didn't reach its logical conclusion. Just be honest with the new friend and maybe it will work out. Don't compare her and take it slow. Go with how you feel. You need to know if what you are feeling is because you aren't healed or if it is because you really don't like this girl that much. Either way you have to figure it out inside yourself and be honest. If the answer is that you aren't healed just take your time. If it is that you don't like her that much then be fair to her and let her find someone that will and eventually you'll meet someone that you can really love.
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