youngbuckkk Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 My ex dumped me about 5 months ago, never came back and wanted to reconcile, but would contact me every now and then to see how I was doing. I pretty much gave her the cold shoulder after she rejected my one attempt at going out for coffe a couple months ago. Now recently my gma got sick and she found out and wanted to come see her so I saw her and we chatted a bit. She went from being this sweet innocent girl with me to a total party animal now so she's definetly not the same girl I was with. When we were talking we got to our lovelifes and I ended up telling her I hooked up with one of her friends. She was surprised and said it was disrespectful. I told her I didn't see it that way because she had made it clear that she had lost all feelings for me. She said it didn't hurt her or anger her but I definetly noticed a change in her demeanor after I told her about it. We hung out a while that day and I suggested we go to the movies later this week which she agreed to but didn't seem ultimatley thrilled about it. What should I make of this? Does it sound like she wants me back or is it just being friendly? BTW the reason she broke off our LTR of 3.5 years was because things were getting stagnant and boring.
Author youngbuckkk Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 It's doesn't sound very promising. O yea I agree. I'm just wondering moreso about the whole disrespect thing. Why would she think it's disrespectful for me to go after any women seeing how she no longer wanted me? Like how am I being disrespectful? I'm wondering if it means she still had some sort of feelings, which I thought were gone. I wouldn't wanna get back with her anytime soon, was just considering the movie thing and whether I should just blow it off or see where it goes. I'm leaning towards just not calling and leaving things where they are.
jadedone Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I think she found it disrespectful because it was one of her friends, not because you were seeing someone in general.
Author youngbuckkk Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 I think she found it disrespectful because it was one of her friends, not because you were seeing someone in general. I know that's the reason, but I still wonder why it would upset her. If she was totally indifferent about me why would she care about any woman i'm going with, be it a friend or a stranger? She basically didn't want me anymore so why would it bother her at all.
serendip Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Anymore input on this? Advice? b/c it's her friend...if it was anyone else...I don't think she would care how would you feel if she did a friend of yours? I don't think it's that hard to understand her reaction
timmay Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 she is just saying that she doesnt want you any more but its prolly not true. Somewhere inside she still have feelings for you and is most likley just jealous about you hooking up with anyone. She might have thought that you would wait or something for her something so when she found out about this girl you hooked up with it upset her. She sounds like she needs to figure out what she wants. I was in a relationship for 6 years with this girl and we broke up about 4 months ago and im sorta in the same situation in that if im going out with another girl she gets jealous but at the same time when i ask her out she is like no so..... girls got issues ={
Author youngbuckkk Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 b/c it's her friend...if it was anyone else...I don't think she would care how would you feel if she did a friend of yours? I don't think it's that hard to understand her reaction Well it's different because she was the dumper and totally shut me out of her life. She didn't have anymore feelings for me anymore so I don't understand why she thinks I should lay off any woman, wouldn't that be indicating i'm still hers. I had a past ex that I broke up with that one of my friends hooked up with and I didn't care at all. The reason being I had no more feelings for her.
twice_shy Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 My ex dumped me about 5 months ago, never came back and wanted to reconcile, but would contact me every now and then to see how I was doing. I pretty much gave her the cold shoulder after she rejected my one attempt at going out for coffe a couple months ago. Now recently my gma got sick and she found out and wanted to come see her so I saw her and we chatted a bit. Oh yes, I know this story all too well. An ex of mine, a high school sweetheart, used my grandfather's death as an excuse to contact me when she knew I wanted nothing to do with her. She was married at the time writing me a letter telling me how she wished things were different. So I put the letter in an envelope addressed to her husband. Put a post it on it saying, "tell your wife to leave me alone". I never heard from her again. Mission accomplished. She went from being this sweet innocent girl with me to a total party animal now so she's definetly not the same girl I was with. A party animal is definitely not the kind of woman for me. If you are of the same mindset, that fact alone shoule want to make you do the NC on a permanent basis. When we were talking we got to our lovelifes and I ended up telling her I hooked up with one of her friends. OUCH!!! She was surprised and said it was disrespectful. Too freakin' bad. She dumped you. She aint got a thing to say about it. We hung out a while that day and I suggested we go to the movies later this week which she agreed to but didn't seem ultimatley thrilled about it. Are you not with her friend any longer? If you are, why are you suggesting going out with your X? What should I make of this? Does it sound like she wants me back or is it just being friendly? BTW the reason she broke off our LTR of 3.5 years was because things were getting stagnant and boring. Well then she isn't the girl for you. She wants to be a party animal? Then let her and find yourself someone who can handle committment for the long term.
Author youngbuckkk Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 she is just saying that she doesnt want you any more but its prolly not true. Somewhere inside she still have feelings for you and is most likley just jealous about you hooking up with anyone. She might have thought that you would wait or something for her something so when she found out about this girl you hooked up with it upset her. She sounds like she needs to figure out what she wants. I was in a relationship for 6 years with this girl and we broke up about 4 months ago and im sorta in the same situation in that if im going out with another girl she gets jealous but at the same time when i ask her out she is like no so..... girls got issues ={ When we talked she didn't seem jealous, just upset a bit. She has already had sex with another guy and she kept reinforcing the notion that she is so much happier being single. I wouldn't get back with her anytime soon as I don't trust her like that anymore, but I would possibly explore the possibility of going out a couple times and seeing if she can regain my trust.
Author youngbuckkk Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 I'm not with the friend anymore. The only reason i'm contemplating it is because when we were together she was a really great girl, and I guess I have a glimmer of hope that maybe she can be that way again, maybe she will see that she got rid of a good guy u kno. I never had to worry about her being unfaithful, she was always there for me, and we clicked like best friends as well as a couple. I've never been closer to anyone including family. So I was very attached to her. And although I disagreed with the way she ended it and not giving it another shot I do unerstand the boring aspect. I was bored at times as well and a change was necessay as we just got too comfortable with each other and things became too routine. We didn't go out enough and do things so it got stale.
serendip Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Well it's different because she was the dumper and totally shut me out of her life. She didn't have anymore feelings for me anymore so I don't understand why she thinks I should lay off any woman, wouldn't that be indicating i'm still hers. I had a past ex that I broke up with that one of my friends hooked up with and I didn't care at all. The reason being I had no more feelings for her. I don't know...I would be upset if one of my friends slept with my ex....unless the relationship was superficial...nothing serious.
Exl Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I think it's a no go. Doesn't sound promising at all or, at best, it'd be a crash-and-burn situation most likely for you. I'm afraid my ex also gets in Party Animal status while we're on our "hiatus". If she does, I'll want nothing to do with her ever again. That's the kind of people you can't put your heart into - trust me, I've been there on a few occasions and it's quite bad. It's alright if you just wanna get laid. Just about it.
justaman99 Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I know that's the reason, but I still wonder why it would upset her. If she was totally indifferent about me why would she care about any woman i'm going with, be it a friend or a stranger? She basically didn't want me anymore so why would it bother her at all. I doubt she has absolutely 0 feelings for you. If she hears you hooked up with someone else there will be a little bump in something somewhere in the ol' heart. Depends on the person but that doesn't mean it's anything more than an "oh he's moving on" and maybe a slight questioning if she did the right thing. I think when people hear that the other has moved on they question themselves most the time if they did the right thing dumping that person. This because now someone else is interested in what they had. That's my opinion.
Author youngbuckkk Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 I think it's a no go. Doesn't sound promising at all or, at best, it'd be a crash-and-burn situation most likely for you. I'm afraid my ex also gets in Party Animal status while we're on our "hiatus". If she does, I'll want nothing to do with her ever again. That's the kind of people you can't put your heart into - trust me, I've been there on a few occasions and it's quite bad. It's alright if you just wanna get laid. Just about it. So you've broken up she did the party animal thing and you got back? I wouldn't mind seeing her as a friends with benifits I guess, but I'm not sure if she would go for that. BTW I didn't sleep with her friend just make out.
Exl Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 no, we're still taking our time apart. don't know if we'll be back together. only time will tell.
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