Continuing Self Discovery after a Relationship Ends

[star7hjw77]

Today is the first Monday that I have woken up single in four and a half months. For the first time in quite a while I woke up an hour early, without my alarm and was ready for the day. I feel such relief and seem content at the feelings of a new beginning that have swept through my life.

 

Friday I broke up with my boyfriend because I decided that he wasn’t the one for me and it wasn’t a healthy relationship to say the least. I began seeing a therapist one month into our relationship because I so wanted to have a healthy relationship for once and due to my childhood and the fact that I am an “Ault Child of an Alcoholic Father” I have always had a hard time being a sane, rational person when I start to become emotionally attached. Turns out that he hates his parents and has alcoholism in his genes as well so we were just a time bomb. I spent the weekend with family members and alternating reading “The Art of Happiness” and “Codependent No More”.

 

At 26 years old and only a few months into therapy, I have only begun to heal myself and learn how to be a confident, self ensured woman. For those that have been on the path of self discovery for longer I have a few questions to ask.

• Is it easier to fix your self esteem and internal issues if you stay single during the process?
  
• My father passed away two years ago, but I have still been considering visiting Al-Anon in addition to my weekly therapy to see if it might help me to relate to others that have been in my shoes……any thoughts here?
  
• Have any of you given up social drinking during the process and can you give pro’s and con’s?
  

I give so much to others and always have and now I am dedicated to becoming a better me!

Thank you so much in advance for your input!!!!

 

xoxo

[star7hjw77]

So twelve have read this post and none have responded at all. I am a newbie to this....did I post this in the wrong section? Boo me! lol!

[t_veron]

So twelve have read this post and none have responded at all. I am a newbie to this....did I post this in the wrong section? Boo me! lol!

 

LOL, I was going to not reply until I saw your last post. You haven't really said enough. What I can say for sure is to stay single for a while it's easier. I'm not a big fan of therapy I'd suggest finding family or close friends you can trust to turn to. Social drinking is fine but make sure it's with people you know and trust otherwise it can get out of hand. Last.... read a book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger called Bad Childhood - Good Life.

 

I'm sure doing those things will set you on the right path. Things will never be "fixed" so it will be a constant struggle but then that becomes normal and you learn to deal with your emotions and make better choices. Hang in there.