filipovic2 Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 so im a guy and i had this girlfriend for 6 months, everything was awesome until a few days ago, a day before my birthday actually she broke up with me because she said im not giving her enough atenttion and that she didn want to tell me because that would be asking me to be someone im not, that i should do these things by my own choice and pretty much said that it was over. well i admit that these last 2 weeks i didnt give her enough attention and i could have thats my fault, but really this came out of nowhere i didnt see it coming, few days before she told me she was so happy with me and loved me well she came to my house on my birthday and wanted to get back together, i said yes because i really care about her, the day after that she told me on the phone that she kept thinking and that we would not work and we should broke up, at this point i was angry. well my brother saw her kissing some guy 2 days later and called me right away, i asked her why did she lie? if she tells me that she is interested in someone else i would be sad but i can get over it, she swore that she didnt leave me for another guy that she was honest about her reasons but that she did kiss another guy now i think that she wasnt honest with me and im really pissed at her, she hasnt called or talked to me for the whole week, its like i died or something and im sure she is seeing this guy. so my question is what do you think happened here? i think she left me for this guy and that she didnt reallly love me because in my opinion, you dont dump someone before his birthday and start kissing another guy the day after if you care for him, i just think its wrong, i havent talked to her and i really feel i have to get some things out of my chest what do you think about my story?
Author filipovic2 Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 yeah those are my thoughts mor or less, it bothers me because she was the kind of person that would never screw someone she cared about like that, apparently i was wrong you really never know people i guess, i have even feel like calling her to ask her how can she just erase someone like that, i havent because i think she screwed me over and she doesnt deserve me calling her but this past days have been really hard and i really feel i have some stuff i need to get off my chest another interesting fact is that the new guy works in another city and is only here for like a month and a half, then he leaves for a long while hey thanks for the replies by the way
mr_han Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 I can relate to what you've been going through. My girl dumped me but it was more for a different reason. she never told me that she didnt love me anymore. I asked her if that was the reason but she just kept silent. I kept on egging her to be frank of what she felt and that it is ok if she would tell me the love was no longer there. It is more painful if you are being placed in the dark. I am still trying to get over her. I have to admit I have been neglecting her but I swore to her that she was the reason why I am working so hard. I can't give up my career. I was hoping she would understand. Now, it is all over.
GPFan Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Both of you are still discovering who you are and what you like. The world is your oyster in every way. I believe your girlfriend is, indeed, charmed by this other fellow. At the same time, she doesn't want to let you go just yet. She shouldn't have lied to you but she didn't see any other way out because she is still learning how to communicate in a relationship; so are you. She will return when she is done with the new fellow. Why don't you take this opportunity to see what is out there for yourself?
Author filipovic2 Posted June 6, 2008 Author Posted June 6, 2008 yeah gp fan thats what most people tell me, what bothers me the most is that i couldnt do that, if i loved her i just couldnt start dating someone else instantly, maybe i didnt know her at all and she never really loved me i was 100% honest with her so it bothers me that she wasnt, these days have been very hard i hope i can get over her soon mr han i know what you mean, maybe this girl doesnt love me anymore or never did and she is scared to tell me, i was sure that she did love me but lately i have my doubts what do you think i should do now? erase her from my life? thanks for you replies
shanny Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Don't feel like you did anything wrong... She said that she left you because you didn't pay as much attention to her for two weeks. Two weeks is not a lot of time and I'm sure there was a reason for it whether it be work or school. It sounds like you really care about her so I doubt you blew her off just because. If it was because of work or school she should have understood, not went elsewhere for the attention. I hate to say it but I think it was a big excuse. She wanted to break up with you and blame it on you at the same time. Common move... and not your fault. I know it sucks to know your ex is with someone else. But we've all gone through it and it does get easier. You are still really young so have a few days of pity parties for yourself, get the sadness out of your system, and move on.
Author filipovic2 Posted June 7, 2008 Author Posted June 7, 2008 thanks shanny i know with time it will get easier, but what should i do with her? erase her from my life? stop talking to her and everything?
shanny Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I wouldn't go out of your way to avoid her but I think that she's not a positive influence on your life. I would go no contact so that you have time to get over it. If you see her all the time you will never get over it. I've made that mistake of staying in contact with my exes and all I did was prolong the pain for myself. It's hard at first but worth it.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 I wouldn't go out of your way to avoid her but I think that she's not a positive influence on your life. I would go no contact so that you have time to get over it. If you see her all the time you will never get over it. I've made that mistake of staying in contact with my exes and all I did was prolong the pain for myself. It's hard at first but worth it. I agree. Sometimes relationships just end unexpectedly and there are no answers to things. But it's how you take care of yourself afterwards that matters the most. With regards to having an answer from your ex, I think that any confrontation now would be unheeded. Instead, please turn your attention to your own wellbeing. Accept that the relationship didn't work out, and proceed with No contact. It'll give you more than enough space to breathe again and avoid any of her influences on you.
mr_han Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Hi filipovic. Just don't delete her entirely. It wont work. I did try. Just keep yourself busy. I stopped begging her to come back to me. I feel sorry for myself. I suffered a lot and I decided not to contact her and move on. I thought it is worth fighting for but I doesnt work that way when she has other things in mind. We can't demand to be loved back. I had this new mantra, "it is her loss".
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Same thing happened to me. Trust me your better off there are so many other girls out there to be with, and not some dumb chick who cant even make up her own damn mind! I understand the whole youth thing but there's a thing called maturity. She should have been woman enough and tell you to your face why she wanted to leave, be a real woman and tell the truth. and she couldnt even do that right. Trust me she'll call you when she hears about your new chick! lol.
Author filipovic2 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 Same thing happened to me. Trust me your better off there are so many other girls out there to be with, and not some dumb chick who cant even make up her own damn mind! I understand the whole youth thing but there's a thing called maturity. She should have been woman enough and tell you to your face why she wanted to leave, be a real woman and tell the truth. and she couldnt even do that right. Trust me she'll call you when she hears about your new chick! lol. i agree completely, she should have told me, im one of the most sincere guys you will ever find and if there is something i hate is lies and hypocrites if she could just delete me from her life like that in a matter of days then she never loved me in the first place and everything she said was lies haha i dont know if she would call me man , i mean i see her online all the time and she always has pics of her and this other guy, anyway im kind of seeing another girl but i still think about her alot thanks people i dont really talk about my problems so this is a very helpful for me
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